(Closed) Is this really MY Wedding?

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
1058 posts
Bumble bee

oh man that sucks, I guess I got lucky, no one helped me with my planning, I did it all on my own, but they offered saying if I needed help then they would help, but I didn’t need anyone and they stayed out of it.

I think if I were in your shoes I would feel pressured and pushed around too especially if I was having to do something I didn’t want to do. That sucks, it’s your wedding you should have it how you want and where you want even if it hurts the ones you love. I mean you could always have a reception in the states right?

Post # 4
Member
2701 posts
Sugar bee

I’m sorry 🙁 I too got no help with planning but in the end I got the final say. There are days I wish I had help, but I’m happy I get to choose. Maybe try talking to your mom to let her know some things that YOU want, that way you at least have something that’s yours!

Post # 5
Member
5778 posts
Bee Keeper

You can aways decline any help offered you know, and do what you want to do on your own terms.

If the big wedding isn’t what is your heart’s desire, just say NO.

Post # 6
Member
2053 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

~Hugs!~ I understand the pressure (I’m the only girl, youngest of 4, in an Italian-American family, and so everyone’s been waiting for their young bride… .) I love your super romantic Ireland idea! Are you already in the thick of alternate MOB-infused plans, and is there truly no turning back without major deposit loss, drama, etc.? You’re sweet to understand where your mom is coming from regarding her past, even if it is irksome, but I hope there’s a way for you to still have your dream, or to at least compromise and keep some elements of it. Could you honeymoon in Ireland and go on the plane in style as you describe? Can you put a touch of Ireland into the theme of your wedding? I hope there’s a smooth way for you to work it out. 

Post # 7
Member
828 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

I hear ya! I had a crazy wedding and my mom wanted a lot of tradition that I wasn’t exactly cool with. In the end we compromised & it was perfect – but I’m not gonna lie! Crazy headaches up until after the wedding. :/

Post # 8
Member
390 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

@Ms. Taffy: I understand being upset, and I can sympathize with you not being able to feel like you can say NO and just walk away.

The best thing I can say is that this will be the last time she can do something of this calibur. You will be leaving the home of your family and cleaving to your husband so to speak–all other decisions and/or parties will belong to your new family. Try to take solace in that when dealing with an overbearing mother who is compensating for what was.

 

Good luck

Post # 9
Member
939 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

is there anyway at all you could do both? Maybe do your thing and go to Ireland, have your private ceremony, spend a week or two or whatever on your honeymoon.  then come back and have the recpetion and tradition your mother wants?  I don’t want to just assume you can afford that, because I know I couldn’t, but it’s only a suggestion.  One i’m sure you’ve thought of though.

Post # 10
Member
1577 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I agree with @smyley:… Just say NO!  It’s your wedding, do what you want.  It might sound harsh, but if your mom didn’t have the wedding day she wanted, that’s not your fault & you shouldn’t have to pay for it by sacrificing your day.  She’s really doing the same thing to you that apparently happened to her… she didn’t get the day she wanted, so now you can’t have the one you want??  I’m sorry, but no.  I would not allow this to go down.

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