(Closed) Is this really too much to ask?

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
2385 posts
Buzzing bee

disconnects like that can be hard. Does he know how upset you are?

Post # 4
Member
2849 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Maybe you should have a talk with him and tell you how you feel. A lot of guys just don’t understand why things like not putting clothes on the floor are so important to us. Or, like in my FI’s case, he just wasn’t aware of what he was doing due to absent-mindedness. After I reminded him a few times and talked to him about why it was important to me, he finally started putting his clothes in a hamper. 

Post # 5
Member
32 posts
Newbee

Don’t freak out on him! That is what some guys will expect yu to do and what makes it worse is when you freak out he will feel pressured to do the bed and not leave the clothes on the floor and will begin to become iritated by you for the simplest things. So, just when he comes home look just a little upset, and when he asks you what’s wrong tell him that this is the one thing you wanted him to do and that all you want is some help. It must be hard enough living with three guys, but all three guys need to realize you arent one! they need to start picking their weight around the house more as well. But it’s not too much for you to ask! You’re being reasonable, just talk to him but don’t freak out.

Goodluck! <3

Post # 6
Member
9483 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2012

@adnama: I wish I knew what to say to get him to tidy up.  I gave up cleaning/picking up this week because Fiance just doesn’t know how to keep anything clean.  He does help around with other things, but cleaning up after himself is like pulling teeth.  It frustrates the hell out of me.  

Post # 7
Member
804 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

That’s a difficult situation.  Do you have a hamper for his clothing?  It can be hard for messier people to understand that some of us need a tidy sanctuary; it’s pretty soothing to come home to a clean space.  

You are asking him to do something for you, so it’s possible he’s wondering what the big deal is when he doesn’t since it’s not like he HAS to.  Have you tried asking him if there’s anything that would make it easier for him to keep things tidy?  Or have you offered to do something that makes his life easier in exchange for him doing something to make your life easier?

You’re not asking too much of him.  When we start families with people, we learn to do things for eachother.  It’s one of the benefits.  It’s just important to keep in mind that we all have enough on our plates taking care of ourselves; it’s hard to get motivated to take care of other people.

Post # 9
Member
705 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

You like things cleaner than he does. Either put up with it or clean it up yourself.  No matter how upset you get, he will never care about making the bed and picking up his clothes.  You can’t change him and fussing over this will do nothing but put stress on both of you and your relationship.  Think about it this way–it’s way more work to get mad at him about not making the bed and putting his clothes away than it is for you to just do it yourself.  You’d be making the bed and putting clothes away if you lived alone, why bother about doing it when you live together?

Post # 10
Member
1697 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

hmm, hard, Is it crazy to say : ” this is important to me” and to expect that to be enough? I use it sparingly, as does Fi, but it really means something. I want to say dont freak out on him, but I like things SUPER clean and we have 5 indoor pets. I ended up crying while i was cleaning and he took the hint. We split chores now:)

Post # 11
Member
444 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

Sent from my Android

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