(Closed) Is this rude?

posted 7 years ago in Gifts and Registries
Post # 3
Member
6892 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

First of all – good for you for sticking it to the rhyming tradition! haha. Rhymes (in general) actually kind of creep me out. Lol.

As far as your message, I do agree it’s kind of long and because of that, people may skip the end and just see “we don’t need gifts” and think that means “we don’t want anything from anyone at all” if you know what I mean.

Post # 4
Member
7587 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

It sounds like you’re reasoning too much about why you want money for your honeymoon. I think you should just register for your honeymoon and that’s it. You don’t need to explain why you chose this, when you do it sounds like you’re really saying, “don’t get me anything but cash” If you register for your honeymoon and someone still wants to go off of the reservation they can, without feeling like you will hate it or roll your eyes, however  most people will take the hint.

Post # 7
Member
1690 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

i too think its tacky to ask for money,  and to be honest,  all of the guests at our wedding already know how long we have been together,  and that we have a houseful of stuff already,  so its doubtful that anyone will be silly enough to buy us a toaster or blender,  when its obvious its going to go to waste.   i think they will give cash to be on the safe side,  but if they dont…….i dont even care.i am not risking embarrassing them or myself by mentioning money.

if they are unsure of what to do,  i am sure they will ask,  then i feel it would be ok  to say….”well we have everything we need,  so maybe cash would be better,   but its entirely up to you, we really dont mond”.  I think its different to answer a question,  rather than pre-empt them by stating you want money…

if no-one asked me and bought me a gift i didnt need…..so what?  i dont really care if they get us something or not,  i just want them at my wedding. 

Post # 8
Member
6892 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

@pohget: Noooo don’t give in! Lol.

My suggestion would be to either start over and do something short and sweet. “While we don’t need anything for our home we’ve created together…” and keep it under 2 sentences.

Or:

“We don’t need big bulky gifts, we just want to spend the day with those closest to us. We have lived together for years and years, so we have a bunch of stuff already. We are hoping to create a marriage based more on shared experiences than shared possessions and would love to be able to afford a honeymoon that at this time is not in the budget.” Or something. I dk!

Post # 9
Member
2161 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I like the bones of it, I think I would just simplify and say that you would rather have a honeymoon and create memories.

Post # 10
Member
566 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

@pohget: My two cents: this part works but needs a bit of triming.

 

“After more than 8 years together, the biggest holiday we’ve managed is a week of camping, and at this stage we will not be having a honeymoon, and we would like to work on making that possible before adding to our collection of things. We are hoping to create a marriage based more on shared experiences than shared possessions.”

Here’s my revision:

After more than 8 years together, we are hoping to create a marriage based more on shared experiences than shared possessions. For those who wish to “gift” us something on our wedding day we ask that you dontate to our honeymoon fund.

Something like this and then maybe some pictures of “experiences” you and your Fiance would share on the honeymoon (ex. spa, hang gliding, helicopter rides, majestic vistas, etc.)


Post # 12
Member
217 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I wouldn’t do all the explaining, I think it is pretty self-explanatory.  I did a wish registry (www.uponourstar.com)and it was very easy to figure out for guests.  I would just maybe put it on your wedding website- and a smaller explanation, but keep it simple.  HTH! 

Post # 13
Member
3482 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

“A thought for when you Save the Date,

We’ve plenty of towels, sheets and plates.

But what would make us really swoon

Is a cash donation to our honeymoon!”

J/K!!!

I get what you’d like to say, but I think it comes off as you trying to justify something rather than a simple request. If everyone else isn’t ashamed of blatant cash requests on their invitations, I think you can afford to be a bit more straightforward on your website.

Something like, “To all our nearest and dearest, we value your presence at our big day more than your presents. However, should you want to give the happy couple something for their new life together, contributions to their honeymoon fund would be greatly appreciated, as more than 8 years without a real vacation is simply too long!”

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