(Closed) Is this rude?

posted 6 years ago in Babies
  • poll: Is it rude to ask someone when they will have kids?
    Yes : (73 votes)
    54 %
    No : (61 votes)
    46 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    1033 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    I think it depends on who is asking, family/close friends I say no. Strangers and people you aren’t close to, yes then it is rude.

    Post # 4
    Member
    1676 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2011

    I do think it is somewhat rude, but it doesn’t really bother me if they let it go when I say never. I think it is extremely rude to try to change someone’s opinion/lecture them on it. I’ve grown to really hate this question because people so rarely just let it go. 

    Post # 5
    Member
    7293 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2011

    Sadly its the next step in the line of questioning! Before it might have been ” When are you getting married ? ” etc etc

    Yes having children is a personal decision, but so is marriage, buying a house, going to college, etc etc. People can’t help but be nosey and don’t always realize it can be insensitive.

    Post # 6
    Member
    2725 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 2011

    I think it’s something people ask when they don’t know what else to talk to you about because the world assumes every woman wants kids, like yesterday.

    Post # 7
    Member
    46371 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    It really is not a question that should be asked by anyone other than close family. And even then, no one should assume that everyone is going to have kids .

    Post # 8
    Member
    3969 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    I think whether it’s a wedding or kids, I think people are excited for you. I know myself, I have been guilty of asking “When do you think you’ll have the wedding?” but it’s not so much I need to nkow everythign but that I am excited for my friend. So if it were a stranger, it might just be that they are trying to seem excitd for you? I would just tell them, oh, you know, sometime in the future, that’s when I’ll have kids haha.

    Post # 9
    Member
    5787 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: May 2011

    I think its rude. The person asking is assuming you want kids and on top of that is assuming they should be privy to your sex life.

    Post # 10
    Member
    3266 posts
    Sugar bee

    People’s reproductive choices are 100% private. 

    It’s also basically asking people if they are doing it alot?  Or are you using birth control?  It is not appropriate. 

    Now if this was a close friend that is one thing, but just a co-worker.  I don’t think so.

     

    Post # 11
    Member
    7771 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2010

    I think it is extremely rude.  Maybe it is just me, but people never ask us that- but I am around older women who are professionals in a tough field (to make it in = design) and they never had kids.  No one has ever asked us that and I would consider it extremely rude and probably want to make fun of them with a smart a** response- but in a professional setting I would probably exercise my usual tact and graciousness (eye roll!)

    Post # 12
    Member
    3452 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    It’s rude.  

    Post # 13
    Member
    11272 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: April 2012

    i think it’s no one’s business whether or not a couple will be having children. it’s private.  they will let you know if they want you to know.

    unfortunately, i can’t have children so when someone asks us, it’s uncomfortable for everyone, especially my fi because he would have loved to have one.

    Post # 14
    Member
    529 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    @guitargirl:  We both get asked this ALL the time, we only recently got engaged, are planning a wedding for April of 2014, and probably kids 3 years after that! It’s just like, leave us alooone already lol

    Post # 15
    Member
    10453 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: February 2014

    I think this depends on who it is asking – close family and friends, no. They are just genuinely curious. If it’s total strangers or people you don’t know very well, that could be EXTREMELY rude. I never ask people because I don’t know what their situation is – for all I know, they could be absolutely devastated because they just found out they can’t have kids.

    Post # 16
    Member
    3947 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    I think it’s rude, family or not. I certainly don’t expect to tell anyone when we try to conceive, not even family. If we have trouble doing it, I don’t want my family or friends to worry or feel sorry for us.

    The topic ‘Is this rude?’ is closed to new replies.

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