(Closed) Is this rude?

posted 6 years ago in Home
Post # 3
Member
7173 posts
Busy Beekeeper

I guess it’s a little odd – however – if someone gifted me something and all my money had been pouring into the house – I may decide to spurge on that thing I haven’t been able to buy (since all the money IS going into the house) – you know what I mean?

Post # 4
Member
6019 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2017

ok by giving a visa card that can be used however she wants. So no I dont think its rude. And really if you wanted it to be used for household type things or renovation type things maybe a gift card to home depot or lowes or something of that nature would have been more appropriate. But when giving a gift,even for a housewarming gift, if its a visa card or cash, you dont get to specify how to use it.

Post # 5
Member
5075 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2012

It’s not rude.  You gave her money (basically) and she bought something she liked.  She even thanked you and told you what she bought!

are you upset because you feel like she spent it on something “frivolous” and you’re not in a position to do that right now?

Post # 6
Member
5786 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2011

I think it was a little thoughtless on her part to say it. I mean I wasn’t writing on my wedding thank you cards “thanks for your $ I used it to pay down my irresponsible college credit card bills”

Post # 7
Member
6825 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I have to agree with stardustintheeyes you gave her a gift card in which she could use however she wished.  So not rude at all

Post # 8
Member
5296 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 1993

@stardustintheeyes:  ^^^ that. Visa=everything. And if it’s something she’s been wanting to get but all their money is going toward house stuff, I’d probably do the same thing. If you want to have more control over what they use the money for, going for a specific store like Home Depot or Lowe’s would have been a better idea.

Post # 9
Member
2759 posts
Sugar bee

No, a gift is a gift – the receiver can choose to use it however he/she sees fit. Maybe by using your giftcard for the shoes she needed she was able to shuffle the money saved to other necessary home things? She was thanking you profusely and being really kind, I don’t think you should feel slighted.

Post # 10
Member
4465 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

@stardustintheeyes:  Agree.  If you wanted her to buy something for her house, I would have specifically given her a home-related gift card.

I agree with PPs that if I had been pouring all my money into a house, I would be thrilled to treat myself to something NOT related to it!

Post # 11
Member
860 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

i think because it was a visa card she was free to spend it on whatever she liked. If you got her a home depot card it would have been more clear what your intentions were.

Post # 12
Member
3886 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I actually think it is appropriate when recieving a gift of cash or a gift card, to let the gifter know what you spent it on.  This helps the gifter feel connected to the recipient and share in the recipient’s excitement over the gift.  Look at it this way, if you recieved a large monetary gift and chose to spend it on your honeymoon hotel, would you not want to share a picture of the room or the grounds with the person who gave the gift?

I remember buying my first house. You run out of money before you run out of fun things to buy, and then the house starts wanting the boring, responsible stuff like a new roof or a plumber, and those things are not cheap.  Your friend was probably just tickled to be able to buy something that WASN’T a plunger.

Post # 13
Member
7173 posts
Busy Beekeeper

@Legallyblondiebride:  btw, also wanted to add how awesome a $100 housewarming gift is!  🙂

Post # 14
Member
873 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I think it was rude for her to mention that to you. You gave her that giftcard for it to be used for something home related. She should have used it a such or at least  not told you what she actually did with it.

Just because it was almost like cash doesn’t mean she could use it for whatever she wanted.

Post # 15
Member
533 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I don’t think it was rude, but if someone gave me a gift card as part of a housewarming gift, and I spent it on shoes, I would NEVER tell the person that gave me the card!

Post # 16
Member
705 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 1993

Not going to lie:  if you gave me a $100 housewarming Visa, I would warm my house with $100 worth of artisan cheeses and a bottle of The Prisoner.  Because that is what I really want instead of a new dishwasher.  🙂

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