Post # 1
I have spoken to a number of people who have invited people to their wedding ceremony but not the reception. I don’t really want a lot of people at our wedding/reception; however the number keeps rising with just my FI’s family. If we invited more than just our close friends and add them with our familes, it would be over 200 people there. I really want an intimate setting with people who I know care for me. So it was suggested to me to invite people to the wedding but have a more private reception. Is this trashy?
Post # 3
Yes. It is trashy (etiquette wise).
It’s really typically frowned upon to invite people to the ceremony but not the reception. I’d be pretty put off if I was only invited to the ceremony. I’d feel less important than those who were invited to both.
You don’t want to leave a bad taste in the mouths of friends and family by excluding them from your whole wedding.
Post # 4
Uncool. If you’re invited to the wedding, you are invited to the reception.
Post # 5
The reception is to thank guests for attending the ceremony… so, yeah, I think it’s rude to invite guests to the ceremony but not the reception.
Post # 6
For my wedding, more people went to the reception than the ceremony. I think it might be hard to pull off.
Have you considered trying to cut down on costs so they all can come to the reception?
To answer you question, it may come off as rude.
Post # 7
@MyOwnWoman: Tyoically yes. The only situation where I think it’s ok for people to be invited to the ceremony but not the reception is if you’re having your ceremony in your home church and it’s essentially a public mass that the whole congregation is “invited” to attend in the same way they’re welcome any time the doors are open.
Post # 8
Thanks. I didn’t think it was acceptable but I don’t want 200 people there. I’ve always envisioned a small, intimate wedding/reception. It never crossed my mind that so many people might come. Would it be okay to say no children outside of the ring bearer and flower girl and no additional guests (outside of wives, husbands, long-term partners)?
Post # 9
Yeah, it’s really rude to only invite your guests the ceremony only.
I’d probably not try to judge the seriousness of others’ relationships. I’ve known people who were engaged after 1-3 months and have been married for over 30 years. You might not view a couple as “long-term” but the couple very well might.
Can you have your ceremony & reception at a non-meal time and serve just cake and punch to everyone?
Post # 10
@MidwestBride2012: I could but I don’t really want to. The issue is the number of people which my fiance and I have resolved. We’re only going to invite 100 people and there will be no alcohol so that children can be there.
Post # 11
My aunty and uncle who got married over 30 years ago (I wasn’t there as I’m only 19 but I like their idea) made their wedding an open, morning ceremony (obviously now-a-days you’d want invites or a rough guest list of some sort to pick a big enough of a place for a larger capacity) with a short, stand up luncheon to follow. Then they went and got their pictures done and did all those kinda things and had a small intimate evening dinner with only the family immediate members, wedding party, and few closest friends.
The thing that drives me crazy is how people feel entitled to be apart of someone elses big day. You want the honor of them present at what is really import for the wedding: the vows and the union. It’s your wedding and this whole way of “wedding ettiquete” is a fancy way of saying that you should try to please everyone. Well, you can’t. I agree that you should not be rude, disrespectful, or play the roll of a doormat but you are NOT responsible for people’s reactions. In my opinion, if I really support someone, I would want to be apart of the ceremony; the important part where the “wedding” actually happens. The food, drink, and whatever else is secondary. This is just my opinion. I am not one for a whole lot of tradition. A wedding is one day in comparison to the rest of your actual marriage. I hope this helped in some way. Congratulations on your big day!
Post # 12
We are having a small intimate ceremony with Immediatl family only. Than we will be having a larger reception at a seperate location that is more of a backyard bbq with family and friends. All the people invited to the ceremony have also been invited to the reception. I would look at your budget again, there are many cost saving options!
Post # 13
@MyOwnWoman: Yes, its totally fine to say no kids and no plus ones.