(Closed) Is this rude?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
53 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I’d say just ask. They may not be sure if you want one, or who is supposed to be in charge. Do you have family who might want to be involved, or who could head it up and the Bridesmaid or Best Man could help out organizing etc?

Post # 4
Member
3886 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

That’s rude in my opinion. I’m assuming they all have Internet access; chances are, they’ll ask google what they can do to help celebrate your wedding, and get all the answers they need.

Post # 5
Member
998 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@VideoGamer:  Is there a female fanily member that would throw you a shower instead? Most people will say that if someone does not throw you one then you essentially habe to deal with not having one. I think it would be sad to miss out on a shower bc your BMs didn’t throw one. I would talk to your female family members first. 

Post # 6
Member
635 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Are you sure they won’t throw one? There’s over a year left until your date, so I’d wait until May 2013 before worrying too much about this. 

Post # 8
Member
4352 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I would talk to your MOH/sister about it. See what she is thinking about doing and mention that you have no issue pitching in financially.

Post # 9
Member
235 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Since your sister is Maid/Matron of Honor, perhaps you can talk to her and see if they are actually getting one ready. Sometimes…recruiting moms help with wedding matters. Perhaps you can kind of ask your mom for advice in the matter and see if she can speak to your sister for you.

Bridal showers are normally thrown as a ‘surprise’ even if we all know about it.. so openly suggesting to the Bridesmaid or Best Man may not be as cool~ or elegant.

🙂

Post # 11
Member
384 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

There is plenty of time, dont get ahead of yourself just yet.

Post # 12
Member
11752 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Have they asked what their responsibilities are?  One of my Bridesmaid or Best Man asked me what she should do and even called my mom to ask if there’s anythign she should do since she had no idea what she was supposed to do as a Bridesmaid or Best Man.  I personally told her she must show up on the wedding day and outside of that everything else is optional!  My sisters are MOH’s and throwing the shower with my mom’s help.  Maybe your sister could help get the ball rolling with getting all the girls together to plan the shower?

Post # 13
Member
1664 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

You have a lot of time to think about it.  I had two bridesmaids and I knew that weren’t going to be able to throw a shower.  I think another family member is a good idea.

Post # 14
Member
3265 posts
Sugar bee

@VideoGamer:  Yes it would be rude for you to ask someone to throw a party in your honour.  It would also be rude for you to participate in throwing it yourself.

 

Post # 15
Member
2437 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Maybe mention it to your sister. I don’t think its exactly rude to inquire–besides you have a certain comfort level with your family.

Post # 16
Member
85 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I think whether you say something depends on how detail-oriented your bridesmaids are. I think it’s totally possible they won’t know they’re supposed to throw one, and they may not even think to look into these things. For example, only one of my bridesmaids, the one who lives clear across the country and is acting as my Maid/Matron of Honor, has talked about any of the typical bridesmaid stuff/responsibilities. The other two don’t know or don’t care, which, for me, is fine — I didn’t want/am not having a shower or a bachelorette or anything else, but if I did want these things, I’d probably have to put them together myself.

You’ll have to judge your bridesmaids’ personalities on this, but if you’re expecting something from them, you may have to be a little proactive.

Can you recruit your mother or another family member to broach the topic with your sister?

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