Is this rude?

posted 1 year ago in Etiquette
Post # 16
10496 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

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l have to agree with pps, it is not reasonable to ask this of guests. They don’t know anymore than you do what the future will bring.
l wouldn’t expect it in even here in Australia where we have sensible requirements/restrictions and have low numbers.  Arizona , and even more,  New York are terrifying places for infection and my heart goes out to you all. 

Post # 17
3085 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

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@Nugnugbean:  I would specially ask something like “are you comfortable traveling and attending our wedding due to COVID? ” Because I’m one of the people that would tell you today that I wouldn’t be attending. I would also start looking into trimming your guest list and the other venue as a safe backup. I should also add that even if the state of AZ allows hosting of large events, I find it to be very irresponsible and immoral. 250 people must include older and at risk people whose health would be compromised. Not to mention there’s absolutely no social distancing this number of people. I feel for all of the 2020 brides out there struggling with this pandemic, but nobody’s wedding is more important than people’s health. If I were you, I’d either postpone to 2021 or elope. Hosting an event of this size with COVID in full swing is negligent. Sorry bee.

Post # 18
7956 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

It sounds as if you’ve already conducted a small trial with close family and friends and they have been unable to give definitive answers this far out–and they are your VIPs.

Does the venue have a minimum cost/count you don’t want to have to pay for if only a small group attends? If you are willing to change venues why not move the wedding to somepleace where fewer have to travel? 

Post # 19
165 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2020

I think that is too far ahead to make a commitment. Also, what is the vibe of your guests? New Yorkers just went through Covid hell. I definitely would not be traveling to a current hot spot. Seems a little tone deaf. 

Post # 20
7229 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2016

If I got an invitation to an event that I was iffy about attending and there was a time pressure element placed on my response, my response would automatically be no. 

Post # 21
564 posts
Busy bee

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@Nugnugbean:  I don’t find it rude, and as soon as  I get a save the date I’ll make arrangements for the wedding since they’re usually out of town for me, so I have no issue planning a few months in advance. BUT, with COVID going on i don’t think I could give an answer, things could be way worse in AZ (or anywhere) so I wouldnt feel comfortable having to give a firm yes or no that far out. I’d probably make a decision a few weeks beforehand based on the numbers and how they’re trending in that area.

Post # 22
6202 posts
Bee Keeper

AZ is a hotspot for covid right now. I would not expect to get accurate rsvps right now. 

Post # 23
5972 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

I don’t think it’s rude but I do think it’s pointless. With the way airlines are cancelling flights or rerouting with multiple stops (and refusing to refund…) I would not be willing to book a flight more than sixty days in advance, so I would decline if told I needed to respond that early. That’s just on top of everything else that could happen as far as rules and regulations.

Do you need a minimum amount of guests at your venue? Will they even let you back out at this point? The more space the better in my opinion so I don’t think it would look silly to host 40 people in a spot for 250.

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