Is this rude?

posted 3 years ago in Decor
Post # 16
101 posts
Blushing bee

I think that’s lovely of you, definitely not rude at all!! 

Post # 17
1385 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

One of my friends not only offered to lend me some of her decor, she also let ANOTHER friend borrow it (her wedding was even before my friend’s). I gave her the decor immediately following the wedding and she sold it. It really helped us out! It’s sweet of you to do so, definitely nothing rude about asking for your stuff back.

Post # 18
2383 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: NJ

No, it isn’t rude, it is very nice of you. It just has to be made plain that this is a loan and not a gift. 

Emails and texts would establish that. 

Post # 19
469 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2017 - Canvas Event Space

“Hey! Keep an eye out at our wedding if there’s any decor you like. I’m planning on selling it, but I can wait until after yours if you want to borrow it first!”

Post # 20
598 posts
Busy bee

I don’t think its rude, but keep mind that they may get damaged or lost, and think about how you’d feel if that happened. If you think you’d be angry or resentful, better not to make the offer.

Post # 21
324 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

I don’t think it’s rude – I asked my friend to borrow some signs from her and gave them back to her post wedding since I have no need for “cards & gifts” or “please sign” signs. For things that are more fragile or breakable (glass, vases, etc) – some may get lost or broken so if there’s anything of super sentimental value that you’re okay losing or breaking, just beware of that.

But I don’t think it’s rude to lend them out – I would have done the same thing with mine if I had anyone who wanted to borrow some of my DIY stuff.

Post # 22
798 posts
Busy bee

I don’t think it’s rude at all! One thing I would consider before making the offer is how much value you’ll have attached to these items. For example, what if you loan them to your brother and either you don’t receive them back or they’re damaged or missing pieces or whatever. Would that bother you and potentially sour your relationship with your brother? Not that this is you, but I have a tendency to make generous offers before considering the full implications, and then get resentful afterwards for something I basically did myself, so I would encourage you to really evaluate how you’ll feel if you get none of these items back after the wedding. (Not that that will necessarily happen, it’s just a worst case scenario).


Post # 23
2674 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

It’s not rude. Basically, you want to let them borrow the items, not give them the items. It should be fine, because I think most people don’t keep all those little things after a wedding. Currently, DH and I are trying to decide what to do with all of the little knick knack things we have from our own wedding. We’re hoping to hand them off to another engaged couple for them to use, though I wouldn’t want them back.

Post # 24
53 posts
Worker bee

View original reply
misspeony55 :  Not at all rude! I would speak to your brother and make the OFFER – with an explanation that you are LENDING these items and will be selling them afterwards. 


But keep in mind – only do this if you can truly afford to not sell them afterwards. They may not be as careful with them as you were (one would hope so, but you never know) and if anything gets too worn or broken and you can’t sell it, I do think it would be rude to ask for the cost of the items. Kind of like the thought process of “don’t lend money you can’t afford to gift.” 


But this is a very kind gesture and not at all rude. 

Post # 25
367 posts
Helper bee

Nope. Just make it clear before u offer


Post # 26
95 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

I don’t think it’s rude at all. I would be honest and say you’re going to sell everything, but wanted to let your brother/FSIL borrow anything they wanted first! I’m sure that they will understand that even though you may be more situated financially than they are, you could still use the money! 

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