(Closed) is this rude?

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
294 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I don’t think you’re being rude by saying no. It’s not like she won’t know anyone at the wedding. As for the shoes, doesn’t she have a family member who she could ship them to? I know I would hate to have to wait on someone else for something so un-important the day before my wedding–the day is probably going to be hectic for you as is.

Post # 4
10366 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

Well, if she is coming from another country to be with you, I honestly think that she should get a +1. To be fair, we had a 70 person wedding and still allowed +1s to our friends coming from Canada, since they we coming from so far away

Post # 5
1518 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

It sounds like she is acting just like you should expected her to – high maintenance! If you have an extra spot (maybe due to someone rsvping no) i would let her bring the family member- no reason to cause a thing about it. If you don’t then simply tell her you can’t have extra’s because you already turned the number into the venue and caterer. Maybe she can have her friend meet her and hang out at the wedding after the dinner is served?

Post # 6
617 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

No, I don’t think you are being rude.  I’m sure you have a budget you are sticking to and it’s stressful enough as it is.  If you gave everyone a plus one your list could be enormous!  If she knows people are the wedding she should be fine.  

Post # 7
3709 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

@nahhan: I would definitely ask her to ship the boots to the friend/relatives house where she will be staying. As for the +1….considering that she is flying in from out of the country to attend your wedding, I think you should try to accomodate her request for the +1

Post # 8
1871 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

She is being rude.

If you don’t want to pay extra for the guy, you can talk to her and tell her that you will be happy to accomodate an extra guest once some of the RSVPs come in (ie, new guest is “b-list”)

Post # 9
348 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I think it’s a little rude of her to ask, but to be honest, I think anybody who is traveling so far to be with you definitely should have been allowed a +1. As for the boots, I’m sure she just doesn’t realize it will be an inconvenience. I wouldn’t worry about it. Just let her know she can either pick them up at a time when you’re there, or else she’ll just have to wait. No need to reschedule your day for her.

Post # 10
264 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Your wedding/reception is $250 per person????????????????? Holy crap!

Post # 11
93 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Wow, $250 pp – if she hasn’t planned a wedding she probably doesn’t understand how much just 1 more guest can cost. Weddings are freaking expensive – maybe try and explain that to her.


And the real question is: why didnt she just ship the boots to the place she’s staying? 

Post # 12
987 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2009

she’s being a selfish idiot. say no.  It’s your day and she needs to show some respect.  This person has clearly not being married before.

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