(Closed) Is this rude (asking parents to pay for siblings at a birthday party)?

posted 6 years ago in Parenting
  • poll: Is it rude to ask parents to pay for sibilings attending a party that are not invited?
    Yes : (24 votes)
    32 %
    No : (52 votes)
    68 %
  • Post # 3
    1735 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    I never assume both my children are invited to a party unless otherwise stated.  I only bring the kid who got the invite.

    Post # 4
    3773 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: December 1999

    For my daughter parties and parties she has attened I think it is pretty clear that only the child’s who’s name is on the inviation is invited. I wouldn’t think my other child would be invited to a birthday party for one of my other kid’s friend. I would just keep the name of the child invited on the invitation. Are you planning on parents staying or dropping off?

    Post # 5
    1093 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    Damnit. I voted wrong (blonde moment). Turn one of the Yes’s to a No.

    If you’re worried about offending, maybe put on the evite “For reservation purposes, please let me know if you will be bringing any other kids to play.” or something to that effect. Then, when they let you know about the additional child say “Great! That’ll be $16.”

    Post # 6
    5761 posts
    Bee Keeper

    I wouldn’t mention anything at all, since by mentioning the cost to them, it almost seems like you’re OK if they bring extras (as long as they want to play). What about feeding them all? If the siblings come along, what will you do as far as food and snacks? Provide for all of them or just the party invitees? Iwouldn’t even mention it. People with any brains won’t even consider bringing other kids if they aren’t invited.

    Post # 7
    10288 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2011

    Why would anyone assume that siblings are invited? If they feel the need to bring uninvited kids then they’re the rude ones, not you. I wouldn’t even mention anything on the invite since then you’re pretty much saying that it’s okay if these kids come, you’re just not paying for them. If I plan a party, uninvited guests are not welcome. 

    Post # 8
    1734 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    I don’t think that kids’ birthday parties rise to the level of formality of wedding invites, etc, and some people do get really weird about “oh hey, what’s one more kid?” So I think it’s all in how you say it — I’d go towards the semi-silly side and say something like “Food, drinks, and laser awesomeness are included  — but if Mom, Dad or siblings want to pick up a laser gun and join in, the fee per game is $16.”


    Post # 9
    1778 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    I think it all depends on how you word it. They should also let you know ahead of time to make sure you have enough space reserved for the party.

    Post # 10
    3626 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    I voted yes because of the OP, saying it would go on the invitation. It’s really not good form to assume your guests will be rude in the invites that your guests receive! Yeesh. If someone asks to bring a sibling, tell them they’re not invited/say “ok but it’s $16.”

    Post # 11
    1830 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: November 2014

    If the siblings aren’t invited, then they really shouldn’t even BE there. Period. If the parents bring them along anyway, then that’s on them. I think you’re doing them a favor saying it’s going to be XX amount for uninvited kids so that parent knows to have cash with them.

    When my friend had a paint ball party for her 16th bday, we were all told that the first game was on her (mom), but if we wanted to play after that, it was $5/game. It’s not rude – it’s being realistic that this kind of stuff is expensive!

    It’s not like you’re saying “Well, you need to pay for your extra kids’ cake/pizza.” It’s a per person thing, and it’s pricey.

    Post # 12
    276 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    Nope. it may feel akward for you on how to handle it, but you control the list of  kids invited-not how many other children their parents have and want to bring.

    Post # 13
    945 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    My younger sister had a bowling party and invited her classmates, half of them had a sibling tag along. Needless to day my mom was not pleased that she ended up paying for an extra 10 kids my sister didn’t know. Including food and drinks. I would defintely say something in the invite.

    Why would people do this? No idea. 🙁

    Post # 15
    1243 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: December 2010

    @UpstateCait:  Agreed!

    This is NUTS.  I can’t believe that this is a thing or that it’s something that someone has to worry about.

    What is wrong with people???!

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