(Closed) Is this rude to add on the wedding invitation?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
448 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2017

Bummer. If they genuinely, literally will take it upon themselves to invite people willy nilly I would be very tempted to elope. That is just…mind boggling. Will people honestly just turn up on your parents’ say so??

To answer your question, I would think it was strange to see that written on an invite, and if they won’t not invite people after being told verbally, will a note on an invite make a difference?

Post # 3
432 posts
Helper bee

Its a bit odd, but given the history it makes more sense. I dont think its rude, but I dont care much for supposed wedding ettiquette. I just say what I mean. 

Post # 4
4112 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

View original reply
1judejude:  I don’t think a passive-aggressive note on the bottom of the invite will work. Especially if you feel like asking them in person, blunt and direct, will do no good. I suggest having someone from the ceremony site and the restaurant have a guest list and check people in and prepare to turn people away. Write on the bottom of the invites that everyone needs to have an invitation to get into the reception or their IDs ready. Sure, some will find this strange, but if you don’t want a bunch of uninvited people being invited by your aunts and grandmothers, then this is what I would suggest doing.

Post # 5
1782 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

I would send this addition only on the invites going to your side of the family, if you are quite sure the problem is only amongst them, shouldn’t increase your printing costs to have a certain amount in the batch with different wording.

Post # 6
7 posts

I wouldn’t put that on the invitation. Maybe send it out separately on an email and request a read receipt so you know that everyone has opened the email and read it. Or you could include it in the inivation envelope on it own little card. If they do bring guests, make it clear they will be turned away at the door.

Post # 7
8600 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

I wouldnt do that. Its rude. Just call or email key people and ask them to spread the info via word of mouth.

Post # 9
1767 posts
Buzzing bee

View original reply
1judejude: Honestly, not only is it rude, I don’t think it will make a difference anyway. If anything, people might come just to “show you”.

Post # 10
326 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

What about a hand written note to accompany the invitation on similar paper as the invitation?

Post # 11
13929 posts
Honey Beekeeper

Yes, it’s rude. It implies that even your most polite and well mannered guests are potentially rude enough to do this or too stupid to know how to read an invitation. 

Even putting that aside, if people won’t listen to you in person, what makes you think they will listen when you write it on an invitation?  


Post # 15
2009 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2017

I think ‘nearest and dearest’ could be offensive to anyone without an invite because you essentually saying you dont care about anyone but those invited (which is rude to say) but honestly I would just tell the venue the guestlist is paper invite only (you can make it so they need to bring the invite too, my friend had that, you could only use the bar if you had your invite) and any uninvited geust either go home or sit outside

or explain that their is nothing acceptable about inviting other people on someone else money and day

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