(Closed) Is this rude to ask?

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Would you be offended if I asked this of you?
    Yes : (16 votes)
    25 %
    No : (49 votes)
    75 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    5001 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: September 2013

    Why can’t they have the kids meals and still sit with their families?

    Post # 5
    Member
    279 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    Kiddie table is pretty much par for the course at all family functions I’ve attended, including weddings.

    Post # 6
    Member
    3053 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: February 2015

    I don’t know that a kids table at a wedding is a great idea….we have one at thanksgiving and there still has to be 2 adults to mind the kids (the adults rotate every year haha) I think I would INFORM the parents that the kids have their own kids portioned meals but I wouldn’t ask them to sit away from their families. Just my opinion

     

    ETA: just saw your reply that it’s family style. In that case yep, just sit the kids at a table by themselves as long as the parents are okay with it.

     

    Post # 7
    Member
    5660 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2012

    ehhhh this is hard to say. It wouldn’t be horrible to have a kids table, but the parents have to be ok with that IMO. If you are REQUIRED to pay per table and not per head (which seems weird but whatev), you may ask the parents if they are ok with kids sitting at a diff table and they’ll get kiddo meals which are more age appropriate. I don’t know your family so I’m not sure if that will or will not be ok with them. I definitely would NOT approach it as being finance related, I would mention it as being more fun for the kids and the adults to have a kids table.

    At my wedding I tried to do a kids table so all the cousins from both sides, (all teens close in age) could sit together just for fun and to enjoy themselves. My aunt wanted her boys to sit with her and her husband since to her it was a family event so that was what we did. Kind of depends on the people.

    Post # 8
    Member
    231 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    Have you asked the caterer if they will agree to serve kids at the vendor meal price?  I’ve never heard of a venue doing that.  Usually the vendor meal is just for vendors, not guests.

    Post # 9
    Member
    5001 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: September 2013

    @littlemiss604:  Oh ok. Can’t you just make a kids table and not ask if it’s ok? You are in charge of the seating and kids tables are quite common.

    Post # 11
    Member
    491 posts
    Helper bee

    I think it could be tough to have a kids table with no adults. 4 years old is fairly young to be sitting without a parent, especially if they don’t have an older sibling.  I think it could also be weird for the older kids if they feel like they’re supposed to take care of the youger ones. 

    Post # 12
    Member
    2375 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    I’ve never heard of a kids table at a wedding.  I was always seated with my parents.  The idea of questionably supervised children at a wedding is just horrifying to me.  Older teenagers are one thing, little ones are different.  I know my mom (she’s Japanese) would have been HIGHLY offended if I was taken away from them to sit at a different table so I could get a cheaper meal that was only for vendors.  There would have been words about “my daughter is not a second class person”.  Oddly enough, she would have totally understood if it was a child free wedding and hired a sitter for me.  Child free = ok.  Treating her kid like a second class family member = insult that she’d remember for life.

    Post # 13
    Member
    1237 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2015

    You know your family best! At the last family wedding I went to, the kids sat at their own table, so I know that would work fine for my family. I would try to approach it without mentioning money though, maybe just that you were thinking a smaller meal would be more suited for the kids and due the the nature of the meal, it would be easiest for them to be seated separately. I would also offer to seat the parents at the table closest to the kids so they can keep an eye on them! Hope it works out, I have to admit that I am a little jealous, i would LOVE to experience an 11 course Chinese meal!

    Post # 15
    Member
    1475 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    Hmm, I don’t think it would be rude to offer them the more “kid friendly portioned” meal, however, the fact that you would have to seat them away from their parents might not be a good idea and I can see how some parents might not like that.

    Post # 16
    Member
    3572 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    I think 11 courses is a long time to be away from their parents.  I would not ask them.   Either you want to host them as guests full out, or want to relegate them to vendor status.  4 years old is way too little to eat separetely from the parents.

     

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