(Closed) Is this rude to put in an invitation?

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Would you be offended?
    Yes : (324 votes)
    91 %
    No : (33 votes)
    9 %
  • Post # 3
    8576 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2014

    It’s rude to mention gifts in any way, really.

    It’s even more rude to ask gifts to pay for their meals!

    Post # 4
    1522 posts
    Bumble bee

    I dnt like that at all, I’m nt opposed to wedding registries in the invite but wth making ppl pay for their own food to celebrate u is ridiculous I wouldn’t b surprised if ppl dnt RSVP 

    Post # 5
    839 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    @mrswestcoast:  Yeah, I’d say so. I think it’s fine to ask for cash gifts on your wedding website or something, but not on the invitaion. I also think it’s incredibly rude for them to tell you how much they want and I don’t like the idea of them essentially asking you to pay for your meal either. Wtf is wrong with some people? 

    Post # 6
    1670 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    I mean at least she said “in lieu” but yeah pretty rude.

    Post # 8
    43 posts
    • Wedding: June 2013

    It’s rude,…and cheap for that matter!  If I go to a wedding, my gift is more than $60 per couple.  it seems very rude and presumptious, she probably would receive  more money not putting anything…now she just pissed people off.  I would go straight to the registry, ha!

    Post # 9
    9954 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2012

    Etiquette Snob here… lol

    Yikes !!

    You guessed it, that one is very very RUDE.

    Not only does it get into the area of talking GIFTS (a word that should not be mentioned)

    It actually says MONEY… (a word that should NEVER be mentioned)

    And worse yet a specified amount $ 30

    And the word DONATION… clearly reads FUNDRAISING Event

    And then truly turns into a hot mess territory by linking the whole concept together… by saying it will cover your meal

    (Being a Host and providing a meal is a choice… not a necessity / or a fundraising endeavour at a Wedding)

    Sadly your friend has gone far far off the path…

    I’d be in shock.

    I’d be offended… but as nasty as it is… it would probably be more for her, than myself… as people will talk and I can only imagine what they’ll say about her poor etiquette rude behaviour.

    Yikes, again.

    Honestly, I’d most likey just send my regrets… and send a card.  No gift, just a card… and wish her well

    (I have a feeling she’s gonna need it in life)

    Hope this helps,

    PS… Yes I’d be tempted to send her an Etiquette Book… but ya know it is a fine line between being a well meaning friend (the OMG… someone has to tell her) and being a critic in one’s eyes… (sometimes tough love can be painful).  So I’d just as I said, send the card alone.


    Post # 10
    1098 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: December 2013

    Weddings are expensive, I literally cannot get to sleep some nights because I’m thinking of all the things I have to pay for to make this wedding happen. If one of my friends sent me a wedding invitation that asked for cash instead of gifts I would show up with a 100 dollar bill instead of $30 because I know that’s closer to the actual cost per head for a wedding guest.  

    Post # 13
    926 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    I would find it off putting, but I wouldn’t give it a second thought. It wouldn’t bother me that much

    Post # 15
    1902 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    Where I come from, it’s pretty normal to include information on gifts with the invitations (yes, even mentioning money!). But I think it’s bad form to state a “value” that your guests should give you – especially if she’s expecting that amount per person that comes to her wedding. Some people just can’t afford that much!

    Having said that, I’m not one of the people that would shun a friend’s wedding simply because the invitation rubbed me up the wrong way – so I think you should go along, and give them whatever you feel comfortable giving.

    Post # 16
    6355 posts
    Bee Keeper

    It was not polite 🙁

    The topic ‘Is this rude to put in an invitation?’ is closed to new replies.

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