(Closed) is this rude

posted 9 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
666 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

I don’t think it is rude.  They will have each other to hang out with.

Post # 4
Member
883 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2009

if your wedding party isnt dating anyone special, and in general you arent inviting +1s then I think you are in the clear just invited them.

picking and choosing is where you get tricky. its do-able but you are going to have to be aware of people maybe being a little put out. as far as i know, there is no magic answer to that one. as a guest, if I didnt know anyone else, I’d want to be involved in some way helping out, or would want a guest with me.

Maybe invite them all just as singles, and then when the final rsvp count is back IF you have room, maybe call the ones who wont know anyone and let them know they can bring someone.   its not ideal, but its the best idea i’ve got.

Post # 5
Member
141 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

not rude at all.  when i was in a bridal party i always preferred to go dateless (when i was single) because i was so tied up with stuff all day and i didnt want to worry about my date sitting by himself the whole time!

Post # 6
Member
1956 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010 - Tannery Pond at the Darrow School

I’ve got 2 bridesmaids who are single and they are not getting plus ones…Especially bc my wedding’s out of town so it would be super-awkward to invite a random to be a date and then on top of that have them travel a few hours and stay in a hotel…so i don’t think it’s a big deal at all…you could also just ask each one individually if they WANT a plus one and if they do, try and accomodate them, since they are your bridesmaids, after all…

Post # 8
Member
1022 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I also agree, if they aren’t seriously dating anyone, then if you let them bring a date they won’t know anyone and your bridesmaids will be too busy to give them attention anyway. 

Post # 9
Member
2641 posts
Sugar bee

I would think that if they aren’t dating anyone, they probably wouldn’t mind (BMs that is ) because they’ll be doing a bunch that day.  Perhaps you could just mention to them.  “I hope it’s OK.  We’re strapped for space…..”  If they feel like it’s a big deal, perhaps make an exception for the Bridal Party.

As for the guests, are you saying, you’ll let some of the guests who will not know any of the other guests, bring a date.  I can appreciate this line of thinking.  And if they don’t know anyone else, who’d know if the date was single or a spouse.  Can you seat all of those people together?  (Maybe they can secretly know they are the only ones who got the +1 and can keep it on the down low.  he he.)

Post # 10
Member
368 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

If they aren’t seriously dating anyone then I’d say it’s okay you don’t want their dates tooling around with you if you don’t know them well and I would think they would be uncomfortable not being with one of your ladies if they weren’t invited to tall the festivities…hmm I hope that makes sense!

Post # 11
Member
241 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Since they are your close friends you can explain the situation to them. Maybe when your RSVP start rolling in you will have a few extra spots, and then they could have the option to bring a date. It can be lonely going to a wedding single.

Post # 12
Member
188 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Not rude at all, I went to a wedding when I was single on my own and was sat next to another girl who although dating her date could’nt make it.  We had a great time together, we joked that people would think we were together 🙂

Post # 13
Member
2342 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

My thing is they don’t need plus 1s because they’ll be too busy doing wedding stuff (well a good bridesmaid should be) that they can’t entertain their own guest!  So they’re date will be sitting alone not knowing anyone, just taking space and another plate!

Post # 14
Member
2022 posts
Buzzing bee

Given the situation I think it is fine.

Post # 15
Member
44 posts
Newbee

Not rude!   They might even meet someone there !

Post # 16
Member
141 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

as to your second question-give it to someone who doesnt know anyone and is traveling to get there. no one wants to be in strange place all alone! if that doesnt fit anyone, then dont feel obligated to let anyone take a plus 1.

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