(Closed) Is this selfish/unsmart of me? TTC only in certain months

posted 4 years ago in TTC
Post # 2
3276 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

We’re doing the same thing. Idk why that would be selfish? I wouldn’t do it just because of birthdays or holidays but if that’s what you want, it’s definitly not selfish.

Post # 3
4412 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

TogetherThroughLife:  We’re going to be doing it too either this August or next depending on what we decide this month. We’re doing it because I’m a teacher and it would be easiest at this stage in our life for a baby to be born in May/June while I’m on summer break. I don’t think it’s selfish. I wouldn’t wait for other things though (holidays, birthdays, etc.). 

Post # 4
5950 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

TogetherThroughLife:  It’s not selfish, but it is a little strange to me.  But hey, you are young and have lots of time.  Do what you think is best I don’t see any problem with trying for a certain birthdate.

Post # 5
3688 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Even if you get pregnant in a preferred month, you’re not going to have any control over when you actually give birth. Many first-time moms go late, some as late as 42 weeks. A friend of mine had a scary pre-term birth at 32 weeks. I’m pretty type A, I get wanting to plan things as much as possible, but I wouldn’t put my life on hold for other people’s birthdays. Your child’s birthday will be special no matter when it falls, and in the end, it’s just a birthday.

Post # 7
2425 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I am not sure how that would be selfish. As long as you and your partner are on board then TTC however and whenever you want to!

I have thought about trying to time our pregnancy too. Ideally I would like to give birth in the spring (sometime April – June would be nice), since summer is my husband’s slower season and he would be able to take time off to hangout with us. We’ll see what happens when we’re actually TTC though.

Post # 8
959 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Not selfish at all. I wanted a baby sometime in early 2015, no baby past May was my goal because I didn’t want to be pregnant in the latter months in the heat here. So, I got off the pill in April, thinking it would take a few months of my cycle becoming regular again. Well, I got pregnant within 2 weeks of being off the pill. So we are having a January baby. I didn’t expect it to happen so fast, we were shooting for February or March. But it works out well and we are happy! It totally makes sense to think about other people’s birthdays and the holidays. 

Post # 10
7647 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

TogetherThroughLife:  They don’t have to know that you are or are not TTC. Honestly, I wouldn’t share that with my friends. I’d sahre the great news if I got pregnant or perhaps, God forbid, a MC if I wanted a shouldeer to cry on, but I would keep TTC between you and your Darling Husband.

Post # 11
141 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

Not selfish, you cant live your life based on the lives of those around you like that. I want all my friends to have good things, no matter what their circumstances.  If I couldn’t get married, I’d never want to see a friend put off their wedding.  If I can’t get pregnant, I’d never wanna see a friend feel bad for trying or for trying to plan it so it works for them. 

Post # 12
3339 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013 - Rhode Island

I don’t think it’s selfish, but I do think it’s unrealistic.  You have no idea how easy or hard conceiving will be.  Adding additional limitations like only TTC certain months of the year may create a situation where you are trying for 2 years or more to get pregnant.  You’re still young, so that in and of itself doesn’t matter.  But it might matter to you.  Maybe you don’t want to wait that long to start a family.  Ovulation is a weird thing.  You can ovulate every cycle like clockwork and then as soon as you decide TTC, the stress and anxiety alone could delay ovulation or make it not come at all that cycle.  Then what will you do?  I wouldn’t put restrictions on yourself.  But that’s me.  You can clearly do whatever you and your Darling Husband want to.

FWIW, I didn’t ovulate for 6 months when I came off BCPs.  It was extremely stressful and depressing.  I had no reason to believe that we would have trouble conceiving either.  Then I spontaneously ovulated on CD8 and got pregnant right away because we had great timing and I was charting and knew when to BD.  I believe in a divine plan, so I believe that this baby was conceived when he/she was supposed to be conceived.  I think your baby will be the same way.  Things hardly ever go according to our own plans.

Post # 13
722 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

it sounds like something that isn’t important at all to me. who cares? i’d be worrying more about a healthy pregnancy/baby then when the baby is born

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