(Closed) Is this Tacky?

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
45536 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Ibblet:  Has your FI spoken to his Best Man and asked him what his wife and child intend to  do?

Post # 3
5281 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

Ibblet:  This is NOT your issue. If they are choosing to show up that early, they need to find a way to entertain themselves. We had something similiar happen – the husband of one of our groomsmen showed up 2 hours early (when pictures were being taken). He sat in a chair in the lobby of the venue for the entire 2 hours, while we did pictures, etc. and I didn’t see him until the ceremony. 

I wouldn’t worry about it – if anyone ends up somewhere they arent supposed to be – have some kindly let them know its for bridal party only – though I can’t imagine someone would bust into the suite. I also cant imagine your fiance or his groomsmen being happy about his wife + 3 month old hanging in the groom’s suite. I know my husband was all about hanging with the fellas and drinking beer. 

Post # 4
1130 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Ibblet:  I wouldn’t put “Bridal party only” on the door. Maybe something like “Bridal party suite.” That kind of implies it. Then you could have your mom or a bridesmaid run interferance to keep people out. This should be a delegated task, not on you on your wedding day.

Post # 5
2729 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

Ibblet:  I’d designate your BMs to protect the suite so to say.  They can tell anyone who would like to come in that you don’t want to be seen before the wedding.  Nobody should argue with that logic.  You can use the same excuse to keep people away from the photos if you’d like, just have the BMs clear guests out of where you’ll be.  Also if there’s anywhere convenient and comfortable nearby (shoot, Denny’s would do, just somewhere to sit and drink a cup of coffee) then you might want to tell your BMs that they can point guests toward such a place if they’d like to wait more comfortably.  It might be a little harder for your FI to keep them out, particularly the best man’s wife and infant son, but I’d leave that concern to your FI 😉

I don’t think the sign idea is rude, but I think it’s less effective.  People tend to think that surely the sign doesn’t apply to them.

Post # 6
7871 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Ibblet: Extended family should butt out, but I think best man’s wife is a special case. The best man is probably doing a lot for this wedding, at a very busy time in his life (and his wife’s life). If they have to travel together, then his wife has no choice but to arrive early. So I think you should be accomodating for her and newborn somehow. Is there another place in the venue you can reserve for her?

Post # 8
79 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

weatherbug:  ha ha ha you would think that right?  But even though our bridal suite to get ready was in the hotel next to our venue I indeed came back to find two guests who just decided to pop in to hang out there when we returned from taking our bridal party pics. 

You can assign a trusted friend to help direct your guest to the proper waiting area if they are arrive early and to help keep people away from the bridal/groom suites 


Post # 10
6865 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

If you can’t stand her, she probably knows that, and won’t go out of her way to be around you while you’re getting ready. 

Your Fi can decide if he’d like to welcome her into the groom’s suite.

Post # 11
6554 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

Ibblet:  I would speak with the venue and tell them that if anyone shows up early to please direct them into an area where they can wait for the festivities to start. 

I had that issue too, anyone that came early was directed to hang out in the lounge which had tables, a bar, and booths for everyone to be seated comfortably. 

However, I think the Best Man’s wife should be an exception

Post # 12
154 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

perhaps she doesn’t want to travel with anyone else because her baby is THREE WEEKS OLD. Maybe she doesn’t trust anyone else to drive them, maybe she doesn’t want to ask them to pull over so she can whip out a boob and struggle to breastfeed in front of them, maybe she wants to be close to the father of her infant son because she is just learning. You don’t need to let her into the bridal suite and you don’t need to like her but cut her some slack dude! Especially about bringing the baby to the wedding in the first place. Since she’s come with her husband now at least she can go breastfeed in their vehicle instead of the middle of the reception hall, the bathroom, or Denny’s. Open your heart a little 🙂

Post # 13
104 posts
Blushing bee

I understand that you are not fond of this person, but with a child that small, you can’t be unreasonable. She likely travelled w/ hubby because she needed help or support with the baby – and no – there is no substitute for baby daddy.  While she doesn’t need to be in the suite with you, maybe talk to best man & ask what her intention is while she is in the area, and possibly suggest someplace quiet and APPROPRIATE that she and baby hang out – deal with this proactively, not reactively and less feelings will be hurt … unless that’s your intention… you did say that you didn’t like her……?

Post # 15
223 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Ibblet:  She could be bringing a 3 week old to a wedding because the baby is likely breastfeeding.

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