(Closed) Is this tacky?

posted 8 years ago in Reception
  • poll: Is inviting some people AFTER dinner tacky?
    No, inviting them to celebrate later in the evening is fine : (11 votes)
    6 %
    Yes, it is tacky to invite people AFTER dinner : (167 votes)
    94 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    4354 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    I voted yes because I’ve been an “after dinner” invitee. I didn’t go because it was kind of insulting. I’d rather not be invited at all then to show up after and have friends talk about the dinner etc… However, I do think it depends on the relation of these guests to you.

    Post # 5
    Member
    2186 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    if i was an “after dinner” invitee – i wouldnt go because of what misssawyer said – its kind of insulting.

    i would rather not be invited at all.

    i have a question though – if your venue only holds 300, doesnt it only hold 300? how are you gonna invite 400 folks and have room for them? Not sure how just having them for drinks and dancing will give you room – is it because the venue has like a 400 capacity for standing room only??

    Post # 6
    Member
    10366 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2010

    I think you just need to have the tough decision about the guest list. That is a HUGE number of people to invite – you surely can’t know all of them very well?! I think you need to start reeling it in and cutting people you don’t know and/or limiting plus ones. You need to stay under the comfortable amount your venue can hold.

    Post # 7
    Member
    1810 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: April 2011

    I would also be insulted to not be invited to dinner. I would understand but I would still be insulted. And are you planning on inviting them to the ceremony as well? In that case, there would be a HUGE time gap from end of ceremony to when they would be allowed at the reception.

    Post # 9
    Member
    379 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    Can you do the whole thing a heavy cocktail thing?  Do you think all these people will come?  Are they from out of town.

    Post # 10
    Member
    1810 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: April 2011

    @cheapchicbride: In that case, I would definitely be insulted. The ceremony is the most important part to me, and I would feel that if I’m not important enough to be invited to the ceremony, why would I go to part of the reception?

    I agree with crayfish. That is a lot of people and I think you just need to speak with the parents about the guestlist issues you’re having (though I know you said that’s another issue entirely). That is just too many people.

    Post # 11
    Member
    433 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    I think I would be insulted. I think in cases where people invite certian people to the ceremony, because they want an intimate gathering, and then invites the rest to reception is fine, but I think this might insult some people. Just MHO though…

    Post # 13
    Member
    1893 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: April 2011

    400 people is ridiculous, you can’t possibly know all of them.  I’m sure there’s room to widdle down the guest list.  If you can’t, find a different venue. I’d be terribly insulted to receive such an invite.

    Post # 14
    Member
    1046 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: December 2010

    I’d be really insulted if someone throwing a wedding felt that some guests were worth dinner and others were worth only dessert. I understand that there are limits to guest lists, thus I’d rather not be invited at all than get this type of invite.

    Post # 15
    Member
    4485 posts
    Honey bee

    It’s rude and people will be offended even if they don’t say anything to you.

    Post # 16
    Member
    2186 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    @cheapchicbride: yeah definitely talk her out of this – bad idea all around. theres no way in heck yall have 400 folks that just HAVE to be invited.

    perhaps have a seperate congratulatory brunch or cocktail reception later in the week with all the “extra” folks your parents want to invite?

    honestly – unless its a religious thing so only close family or whatever is at the ceremony, i would be seriously offended to just be invited to drinks and dancing “after the fact” its like saying “youre good enough to get us a gift (not that gifts are implied but you know what i mean) but you arent good enough to feed.”

     

    seriously have her reconsider. its not worth offending and being mean to folks.

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