Post # 1
At a friend’s bridal shower, who at one point I was closer to, she handed out her bridal party gifts to the girls and asked me to take pictures of them opening it. It was uncomfortable to say the least and I thought rude to open them in front of so many other friends. I am ok with not standing up since I know we are not close but was this tacky or am I overly conscious?
Post # 3
I wouldn’t say tacky because everyone knows the bridal party gets gifts but it sounds weird. I mean if there was no other opportunity like the bach party or rehersal or any sort of way to see them as a group then I would do it at the end of the shower as people are leaving so it’s not a show.
Post # 4
Not tacky at all, a little unconventional to open them at the shower but it’s possible that they can’t all make it to a later event and so she gifted them now. Everyone knows that the bridal party gets separate gifts, so it’s not as if it was a suprise or anything.
Just breathe deep and let it go, I’m sure that nothing at all was meant by it. 🙂
Post # 5
@baletrina: I think it draws an unnessecary line between those that are ‘in’ and those that are not. I think the bride should have given the gifts privately. I don’t think that anyone should single out one group over others.
Post # 6
Thanks Bees. And just to clarify this was done at the very beginning of the shower when we were told to sit down and wait for something to happen. Just an odd situation.
Post # 7
I think it’s a bit weird but not necessarily that bad. I’m bad at etiquette though it seems! It’s tough to offend me with these things which makes me worry that I’m bumbling away through life offending everyone around me without noticing!
Post # 8
I don’t think its tacky. To me, it’s not different than giving the hostess of a shower a gift, which is proper etiquette to do. Usually the bridesmaids are the ones throwing the shower, so I think it’s fine to show gratitude. I don’t think its drawing a line between those that are “in” or not, any more so than having a bridal party in general. Technically, everything that showcases the bridal party, such as having them stand in the front during the ceremony and being announced at the reception, sets them apart from the guests. To me, that’s sort of the point of a bridal party. I wouldn’t be offended if i went to a shower where this happened.
Post # 9
I think it’s weird but not that horrible. It’s just a gift-giving situation, which everyone knows about, and maybe the bride didn’t want to be the only person opening gifts at her shower, so that’s why she did it then. I’ve heard of people giving bridal party gifts at the rehearsal dinner, which often have people that are not in the party. I just don’t think it’s that bad – there are so many decisions we make that people attach the T-word too, and I think some of it is a little ridiculous.
Post # 10
I don’t think it was tacky per se. Probably a bit uncomfortable, but you don’t know the entire situation. For example, she might have wanted to publicly recognize her bridesmaids because they spend significant time, money, and effort into organizing the shower. This is something that other guests have not done. Additionally, she might not have all the bridesmaids together again until the wedding itself because of distance. Perhaps she is a humble person and didn’t want to be the only one getting a bunch of gifts. Or, perhaps she just couldn’t wait to give them their gifts! In any case, I’m sure she wasn’t intentionally trying to make you uncomfortable or draw a line in the sand between important and unimportant people.
Now that you’ve witnessed this and thought it was uncomfortable, just don’t do it at your own shower 🙂
Post # 11
@MrsTrigger: Well-said. I agree with this 100%
Post # 12
I don’t think its tacky. I agree with Mrs.Trigger, there are probably various reasons that she asked them to open the presents there that you don’t know about. I really just wouldn’t worry about it.