(Closed) Is this tacky? (Honestly please!)

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
5262 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2012

I don’t think it’s tacky as long as you a) reach out to her in the right way – “hey! I know it’s been forever since we’ve spoken, but I’m getting married and I’d love it if you’d consider being our photographer b) never assume you’ll get a discount and remember that travel costs will be included c) treat her as a guest in the right ways – obviously invite her to stay for the whole reception even if she’s only billed X hours, have a meal and a seat for her, etc. 

Future Sister-In-Law & Future Brother-In-Law had a pro photog friend shoot their wedding. It worked out wonderfully, but I could see how it could get awkward in the case of a miscommunication or unreasonable expectations. 

Post # 4
18641 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I think that you could hire her as a photographer (as a business person) and then it wouldn’t be necessary to invite her to the wedding.  I don’t think it’s inappropriate, just say that you would like to consider hiring her as a photographer.  I wouldn’t expect her to give you a huge discount because you are long ago friends though.

Post # 5
103 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

i don’t think it is tacky, since i am sure she would be honored and flattered that you wanted her work to capture one of the most important days of your life.  however, i think it might be a little awkward, knowing what you two used to share, and now do not, and having her catch the intimate moments that you both know she is no longer a part of.  it might affect the way she shoots the wedding, and it might affect your ability to act naturally while shooting.  also, with travel costs increasing the budget, it may not save you any money, if not cost more.  i would take some time trying to find the right photographer…a lot of newer photographers who haven’t really built their business a lot will offer lower prices.

Post # 7
170 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I’m actually doing the same thing. An acquaintance of mine from elementary/middle/high school is now a professional photographer, and although I wouldn’t have invited her to my wedding (75 guests max in our venue!), I asked her to be my photographer, and she was more than happy. She even worked with me on the price of her services. No awkwardness or anything.

Post # 8
762 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I would tell her you would really love to have her photograph your wedding because she is so talented and you love her work. Explain right away though that you’re on a really tight budget and you don’t want to take advantage of the fact that you are friends. She may or may not give you a discount but it doesn’t make you sound like you’re asking for a favor. And if she says it’s $4000 and your budget is $2000 just tell her you’re bummed but you really can’t afford her.

Some friends and family have done favors for me for the wedding but with what I have paid them I could have hired anyone!

Post # 9
647 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I think it’s no problem asking her to photograph, but don’t invite her as a guest.  If she’s working for you, she’s not a guest.  She shouldn’t be surprised not to be invited, you don’t sound all too close.  But don’t ask her to be a photographer because you hope she’ll give you a discount.  Treat her as a professional, and hire her if her prices are reasonable and what you can afford.

Post # 10
837 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I don’t think it’s tacky.  But you need to make it clear that it’s business and sign a contract.  You don’t want the day of your wedding, to get a phone call that she’s sick and can’t come and then you don’t have a photographer.  Make sure there is a contract in place that states what happens in the even that that she cannot attend.

Post # 11
16213 posts
Honey Beekeeper

Sure, it’s an option. I agree with others bees though to treat it like a business deal. Contracts, signatures, the works. It can be super fun to have someone you know as one of your wedding “friend-ors.”

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