Post # 1
I’m running an idea around in my head, and feel like it may not be the best…so I was hoping for some feedback. 🙂
I have a friend from high school who wasn’t a great friend, one of those people I hung out with and went to a summer program with…we didn’t really speak through college and I’ve seen her twice since high school, as she came to visit family here and we met up both times. So, you know, one of those distant acquaintence type friends.
She still lives in California, where we grew up, and is working as a photographer. I know she visits here (NY) often-ish, and wasn’t sure if it would be okay/tacky/rude/etc to ask her to be the wedding photographer, though not actually invite her to the wedding. Or…invite her to the wedding, and ask her to be the photograhper too? She knows about the wedding, as I saw her soon after we got engaged, though I made no reference to this, as I don’t know how rude this would be.
My thoughts about asking her would be that it would be nice to have someone I know, and to support her as she builds up her business, and maybe it would be slightly cheaper since we’re friends (and I’m finding that wedding photography is expensive). There is of course the potential of adding in travel costs and expenses, which could make it just as much in the end.
But, does anyone have thoughts? I haven’t said anything to her yet and definitely won’t until I figure out whether this would be okay or appropriate.
Post # 3
I don’t think its rude at all– as a business she will be grateful that you’ve asked her, I promise!
I would just contact her and say,
“Dear _____, I don’t know if you have heard or not, but I am getting married to Fiance this October in NYC. We are so excited, and we have started our search for wedding photographers. I know that you are working as a photographer here in the city, and I would love to meet with you to get an estimate for our day. I think it would be special if you photographed our wedding, given our history as friends. Please let me know when would be a good time to meet and go over budget, etc.”
You certainly don’t have to invite her as a guest if you wouldn’t otherwise. In other words, if she wasn’t a photographer, would you invite her as a guest? If the answer is no, then use her as a vendor only. If the answer is yes, then invite her as a guest only, but do not ask her to do photos also. You just kind of have to pick which side of this you are on.
My best friend from college is an amazing photographer and I’ve had this debate also– do I want him to stand up with me at the front of the church on my side? Or do I want him to be taking pics? Such a hard choice, since we are really close and he is incredibly talented!
Post # 4
- Wedding: October 2010 - The Pearl S. Buck House
I think it would be perfectly appropriate to ask her. It helps both of you out, you trust her and want to support her, but you both know that you haven’t kept up much so there’s no need to pretend you’re besties and invite her or feel awkward putting her to work. I say great idea =)
Post # 5
I’m closing this thread and pointing people to the duplicate with more responses. Thanks!
Is this tacky? (Honestly please!)