Is this tacky? Need opinions.

posted 7 months ago in Engagement
Post # 2
Member
1450 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

linnoix :  I’d do the timeline that works for you without anyone else involved. They can bask in the newly engaged glow for a few days and then you can have your turn. You won’t be stealing anything from them as attention from friends and family is not the main point of being engaged. It’s about starting your lives together.

Post # 3
Member
131 posts
Blushing bee

Get engaged in January like you wanted. You won’t be stealing their spotlight and you shouldn’t let their proposal effect yours in any way. It’s your relationship, so just do what feels best for the two of you. To avoid conflict, choose wedding dates that are far enough away from each other that you aren’t overwhelming your SO’s family or stealing each other’s thunder.

Post # 4
Member
2305 posts
Buzzing bee

Are your boyfriend’s brother and his girlfriend drama queens? Do they get upset about things like this? If not, don’t worry about it; get engaged when you were going to originally. If they do, get engaged earlier.

Siblings getting engaged within weeks or months of each other happens much more often than most people realize. It’s just how things go. One engagement doesn’t detract from the other unless someone does it purposefully, so unless you actively try to get everyone’s attention, or they’re drama queens, it shouldn’t be a problem.

Also, so many proposals happen during these few months that two proposals happening now really shouldn’t upset anyone. It’s so common.

Post # 7
Member
7804 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

linnoix :  Nobody needs a whole month to bask in engagement glow. Your Boyfriend or Best Friend gets to propose whenever he wants and his brother gets to propose whenever he wants. Neither of them need to wait any certain amount of time in between. 

Post # 8
Member
517 posts
Busy bee

I am a firm believer that you do things by your own timelines. You cant wait for others to do things and base your life around that.

You wont be stealing their thunder if it happens the next month. Engagements are super exiciting to others on the day they are told. However after that people will be moving onto the next thing in their day. Then 3 weeks or so later when you get engaged they will be excited about that when you tell them, and then move along with their day.  

I got engaged one week before my brothers wedding because it was the time that worked for my partner. He ran it by my brother first and they were completely fine with it. We had our day of telling people.. then when it came to their wedding it was all about them like it should have been. 

You guys do what works for you. 🙂 

Post # 9
Member
404 posts
Helper bee

Do it whenever you want! They might be secretly annoyed but if they dared to share that with you or anyone else then they would be the embarrassed ones because people will look at them like they have two heads …..or you could just get engaged before them. 

Post # 10
Member
131 posts
Blushing bee

linnoix :  You can’t let their expectations get in the way of your proposal. You and your SO have created a timeline together that works best for you and your relationship, and changing that in order to appease his brother and his gf just isn’t worth it. This is your future that you’re beginning to plan, and you shouldn’t allow anyone to get in the way of that for something this trivial.

Even if they are really dramatic, do you really think that they would be upset you got engaged weeks after they did? If they did, I think everyone around you would be supportive and think their drama is kind of a reach and that you did nothing wrong.

Post # 11
Member
586 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2019

You could always do it on December 24 😉 What are your reasons for wanting a January proposal?

Post # 12
Member
150 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2017

I’ll say…my cousin (a bridesmaid) got engaged 3 weeks after I did. I gave myself 24 hours to feel upset about it but in reality I was unhappy for the evening and then I got over it and was excited for her. It’s nice to have someone to plan with and now I get to go dress shopping twice! I say do what’s right for you and everyone will come around quickly, even if they are initially upset. 

Post # 13
Member
1863 posts
Buzzing bee

I would get engaged right now and accuse them of trying to steal your thunder! How dare they try to make everyone drive to them, that’s serious entitlement.

Post # 14
Member
150 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2017

ktrv927 :  ktrv927 :  oh and it turned out that my cousin’s fiancee had been planning their proposal for months and my fiancee didn’t tell anyone his plan, so it was really us who was stealing their thunder!

Post # 15
Member
1149 posts
Bumble bee

Who cares. If you wait for other people to do things, you’ll never do anything. 

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