Post # 1
Hey guys! So recently my boyfriend & I have been talking about getting married. I picked out a few rings I like and he’s been looking into it. Here’s the thing, I think his brother might propose to his girlfriend soon. I’ve had this weird feeling that was going to happen and it’s making me kind of nervous. My boyfriends family is all pretty close but we’re not super close to his brother & his girlfriend.
I think his brother would definitely do a christmas engagement. I know his girlfriend has been bugging him about getting engaged. His girlfriend sent out a message to the whole family asking everyone to come to their house for christmas, which turned into a whole ordeal because they are the only two that live 2 hours away and everyone else lives within 15 minutes of each other….etc etc…huge issue occured that I won’t go into. Their reasoning for asking this was because they weren’t sure if they would have to work Christmas and if they got called in, they didn’t want to have to drive back. I kinda thought maybe they requested everyone come because he was going to propose…I really have no evidence to support this but it was just a thought.
So I’m worried they might get engaged on Christmas. We talked about wanting a January engagement but if they do get engaged on Xmas…I feel like us getting engaged not even a month later feels like we’re stealing their spotlight, and even though they get on my nerves I don’t want to take their moment away. Also I feel like people might think that my boyfriend felt pressured to propose to me because his brother proposed. I don’t want to run my life by other people’s imaginary plans because I really have no idea what he’s going to do, but still.
SOOOOO if they do get engaged on christmas…do I gently tell my boyfriend maybe Jnauary isn’t the best idea and to wait? It’s just sucky because I really would love a January engagement but I don’t want to cause issues or steal the spotlight from someone else.
Post # 2
linnoix : I’d do the timeline that works for you without anyone else involved. They can bask in the newly engaged glow for a few days and then you can have your turn. You won’t be stealing anything from them as attention from friends and family is not the main point of being engaged. It’s about starting your lives together.
Post # 3
Get engaged in January like you wanted. You won’t be stealing their spotlight and you shouldn’t let their proposal effect yours in any way. It’s your relationship, so just do what feels best for the two of you. To avoid conflict, choose wedding dates that are far enough away from each other that you aren’t overwhelming your SO’s family or stealing each other’s thunder.
Post # 4
Are your boyfriend’s brother and his girlfriend drama queens? Do they get upset about things like this? If not, don’t worry about it; get engaged when you were going to originally. If they do, get engaged earlier.
Siblings getting engaged within weeks or months of each other happens much more often than most people realize. It’s just how things go. One engagement doesn’t detract from the other unless someone does it purposefully, so unless you actively try to get everyone’s attention, or they’re drama queens, it shouldn’t be a problem.
Also, so many proposals happen during these few months that two proposals happening now really shouldn’t upset anyone. It’s so common.
Post # 5
somathemagical : Okay that’s what I figured. I think I’m being too nice :p
carolinagirl1217 : Right, we would definitley pick dates that weren’t close! We are thinking about staying engaged for a few years and then getting married so that shouldn’t be an issue.
Rhopalocera : They are quite honestly the biggest drama queens I’ve met in my life. His brother would be out of his mind if we got engaged right after, I just know it. I’m just afraid by getting engaged I’m opening a can of worms which is so damn silly to even say. If they got engaged soon after us I really wouldn’t have a thought about it besides “congrats!”
Post # 6
linnoix : Get engaged earlier.
Post # 7
linnoix : Nobody needs a whole month to bask in engagement glow. Your Boyfriend or Best Friend gets to propose whenever he wants and his brother gets to propose whenever he wants. Neither of them need to wait any certain amount of time in between.
Post # 8
I am a firm believer that you do things by your own timelines. You cant wait for others to do things and base your life around that.
You wont be stealing their thunder if it happens the next month. Engagements are super exiciting to others on the day they are told. However after that people will be moving onto the next thing in their day. Then 3 weeks or so later when you get engaged they will be excited about that when you tell them, and then move along with their day.
I got engaged one week before my brothers wedding because it was the time that worked for my partner. He ran it by my brother first and they were completely fine with it. We had our day of telling people.. then when it came to their wedding it was all about them like it should have been.
You guys do what works for you. 🙂
Post # 9
Do it whenever you want! They might be secretly annoyed but if they dared to share that with you or anyone else then they would be the embarrassed ones because people will look at them like they have two heads …..or you could just get engaged before them.
Post # 10
linnoix : You can’t let their expectations get in the way of your proposal. You and your SO have created a timeline together that works best for you and your relationship, and changing that in order to appease his brother and his gf just isn’t worth it. This is your future that you’re beginning to plan, and you shouldn’t allow anyone to get in the way of that for something this trivial.
Even if they are really dramatic, do you really think that they would be upset you got engaged weeks after they did? If they did, I think everyone around you would be supportive and think their drama is kind of a reach and that you did nothing wrong.
Post # 11
You could always do it on December 24 😉 What are your reasons for wanting a January proposal?
Post # 12
I’ll say…my cousin (a bridesmaid) got engaged 3 weeks after I did. I gave myself 24 hours to feel upset about it but in reality I was unhappy for the evening and then I got over it and was excited for her. It’s nice to have someone to plan with and now I get to go dress shopping twice! I say do what’s right for you and everyone will come around quickly, even if they are initially upset.
Post # 13
I would get engaged right now and accuse them of trying to steal your thunder! How dare they try to make everyone drive to them, that’s serious entitlement.
Post # 14
ktrv927 : ktrv927 : oh and it turned out that my cousin’s fiancee had been planning their proposal for months and my fiancee didn’t tell anyone his plan, so it was really us who was stealing their thunder!
Post # 15
Who cares. If you wait for other people to do things, you’ll never do anything.