(Closed) Is this tacky/in poor taste???

posted 6 years ago in Honeymoons
Post # 16
Member
312 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

I think its super tacky. C’mon people already usually give money for weddings, at least in the northeast. If I were at a wedding that had it I would think it was almost embarressing. If it were a traditional thing like the money dance I think that Greeks do, then its different.

But I hate honeyfunds, asking for money at all, indicating you want to have a down payment on a house to save for etc… anywhere! I think people realize you’re going to save the money for something significant anyway. I always feel like if you can’t afford a honeymoon then save and go on one after or skip it and make a mini honeymoon wknd trip out of the money you get.

I agree w/ PP – a wedding is not a fundraiser. I think a fundraiser is the only appropriate way to literally ask for money and I work in the non-profit industry doing fundraising. 

Post # 18
Member
6256 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2014

Your wedding is not Chipotle, a dive bar, or Starbucks. Please do not put out what basically amounts to a tip jar!

If the couple was very young, I wouldn’t necessarily look as harshly upon this, but the one time I saw this in real life, it was at a wedding where you could tell the bride’s dress was $$$ and there were flowers everywhere. It all goes back to having the wedding you can afford. We went over our budget and aren’t going to get a honeymoon, but them’s the breaks and we’re going to wait until we can afford it ourselves, rather than try to shake our guests down agian.

Post # 19
Member
7415 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

I’d totally put all my foreign change in there just to be a jerk.

Post # 20
Member
1633 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I’m a Northerner and have never seen this at a wedding. This is a TIP JAR and does not belong at a wedding. People already gave a gift. This is such a turn off. 

Post # 21
Member
2681 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

shortie1848:  +1 I am a from the Northeast and have been to weddings in several states and have never seen anyone pan handle like this!

Post # 22
Member
2075 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014 - British Columbia

This is only acceptable if you are running a fundraiser OUTSIDE of the wedding; i.e. if you’re purging and having a garage sale. At the wedding? I would always think that a guest’s “presence is present enough” at weddings.

If you wanted cash, just get a family member to spread the news by gossip. It doesn’t have to be on the invites. Echoing PP’s opinions, it depends on cultural contexts too.

Post # 23
Member
2970 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

Only time I’ve seen a jar for money at a wedding was at the bar to tip the bartenders, because it was a small town and the local volunteer firefighters man the bar for weddings and events. So basically donating to the fire department. 

Post # 24
Member
2456 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

I’m a northener and haven’t seen this.  That said, I wouldn’t be surprised if if was common in other circles, and I really don’t care what they do.  If I were to go to a wedding with one, I probably wouldn’t give.

I could see this working if it was Up-inspired.  That movie gets me every time.

Post # 25
Member
249 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2016 - Santa Barbara Courthouse

Honestly, it’s your wedding. Do whatever you want. People (especially, it seems, on WB) are so uptight and judgemental. If I wanted to do that at my wedding, I would. And guess what? My family and friends that love me and are at my wedding to support me wouldn’t judge me for it. If they do, that’s on them. Maybe it’s my southern california attitude? But I can’t understand the need for everyone to judge other people’s choices as “tacky”. 

Seriously. Lighten up, people. 

Post # 26
Member
221 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

I’m from the North and I have never seen anyone do this before. I feel like its tacky since guests will bring a gift or money already. You could use the money you receive as a gift for you spending money on your honeymoon.

Post # 28
Member
271 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I wouldn’t have a physical jar at the reception – I’d feel awkward as a guest pulling out my wallet at a wedding.  However, for my wedding, I set up a Honeyfund registry as an alternative to my Bed Bath and Beyond registry, and got a ton of money that way!  The younger guests especially appreciated the Honeyfund option, since you can pay with a credit card.  Plus, I think many people don’t carry that much cash anymore…at least I don’t!

Post # 29
Member
1669 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

I don’t throw around the “T” word lightly, but in my circle, this would go down in the annals as one of the tackiest things I’d ever seen at a wedding. Squeezing guests for money who you have hosted a party for to THANK them for celebrating with you is pretty low.

I said “my circle” though, in some places I guess this might be ok, but I’ve never seen anything like it. It seems way more classless than the dollar dance, which is traditional in some areas (not mine, I’m from the south) and people on this board seem to get into a huge snit over it. 

Post # 30
Member
2598 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

CallMeMrsG:  Frankly, it’s not only in extremely bad taste, I find it downright disgusting.  

It’s just so revoltingly and embarrassingly GREEDY.  The only time it’s NOT tacky to beg for money is if you’re homeless and hungry.  That’s it. If you’re well off enough to host a wedding, have a job, a roof over your head and food to eat, you should be ashamed of yourself for even contemplating begging amongst your family and friends to fund your luxury vacation. 

When did people become so willing to trade any sense of dignity or propriety for the sake of scoring a few extra bucks? 

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