(Closed) Is this the end?

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
4693 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

If this was a one time thing, then I don’t think it has to be the end, he may have said something in the heat of the moment that he would later regret. I would definitely sit down and talk to him and find out how he really feels.

Post # 4
Member
2398 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

OH my, I know just how you feel. I was a single mom for a long time. I was in a relationship where he seemed to care about my daughter like she was his but one day he told me just how he felt and I was gone. That was the best thing I ever did but I am not saying this is your case. 

I think that maybe he is feeling a bit trapped becasue he wants to spend time with his family but what he said was not necessary. I would have a talk and ask him if he really feels that. I know that a lot of us say things we dont really mean. It is so easy to just say things we dont mean when we are angry or hurt. 

I hope that you two talk it through and work it out, whether you stay together or not. Bless you! 

Post # 5
Member
5428 posts
Bee Keeper

I always felt that if a baby isn’t my flesh and blood, he isn’t and never will be mine. Adoption or step-child.  I would never have that “feeling” that they’re my children. Sorry. I wish I could make that feeling go away but it doesn’t.

Post # 6
Member
1856 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

If my partner said those words in the context of our relationship, we would be having a serious discussion and a reconsideration of our relationship and family. My SO has been raising my daughter for years and is her only father, so for us if he said something like that, it would be, in our family, a disregard for his bond with her and our family. Even something like that said out of anger would be beyond hurtful.

Clearly you need to discuss this with him. But for me? I would walk away if it was clear that is actually how he felt. Kids deserve people who want to be in their lives and if the commitment was already there that he was your son’s other parent, this wouldn’t be okay with me.

Post # 7
Hostess
7561 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2013

It sounds like he was stressed because his family was in town. How about you wait until they leave then have a big talk. You need to know if this is how he really feels, or if he was just speaking out of anger. 

Post # 8
Member
1691 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

Hmm…I have a daughter who is not my FI’s.  So I can understand how you would feel. Because you say it is out of character though, I wonder if maybe he feels like this happens all the time.  Do you often expect him to always be there with your son while you are doing something else or working nights?  I don’t mean like do you go out and leave your son at home all the time AT ALL, but I mean is he daily having to say no to going out because he doesn’t have time, is he watching your son every day? Is it only 2 nights a week that you ask him to watch him while you are working? If it is Monday and Wednesday nights and he is saying this he is out of line if he is marrying you.  It iisn’t like this is a new thing, your son wasn’t just born.  He is marrying BOTH of you, and he knew that when he proposed.  If it is more than 2 week nights that he is staying home i could maybe understand somewhat that while he may love your son, he may feel like he is missing out on events or friends for you…Like if it is weekends a lot.

How long have you been together? Is he younger and is maybe feeling like he is missing out on something while his buddies all get to go out to the bar?  I hope he didnt mean what he said and is just being an ass, and I in no way meant that you are going out all the time and leaving him at home to care for your child, just trying to get the full picture.

Post # 10
Member
1762 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

@futuremrssykes:  i totally know how you feel! I have 2 kids from my previous relationships my SO doesnt have kids. I know some days it can be alot stressfull It probably was in the heat of the moment when he said it and Im glad that you two both worked it out!

Post # 11
Member
1093 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Words hurt and even though he was stressed the words still came from his mouth. I’d be upset too if my Fiance said something like that. In a way I do understand his frustration that he wanted to go play pool but when you take on the responsibility to care for your FI’s son while shes at work you don’t get to push the responsibility on to someone else. He may have wanted you to ask your aunt and even if she did say yes you know she’d rather not keep your son over night. I think you were being respectful of her. was this the only night he could go out?

Post # 13
Member
1691 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

@futuremrssykes:  YAY!!!!!!!!!!! What happened?

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