- 3 years ago
im 25 years old and I just ended my engagement with the man I was with for the past five years and I’m wondering if it was the right thing to do.
I loved this man more than anything and truly believed he was the one, over the past five years we had some issues and things that have broken my trust. We were mostly long distance (he’s in the military) and I always had these gut feelings that he was being shady and seeing other girls while he was away.. my gut was always right I always found Facebook messages from other girls (I shouldn’t snoop I know) so this happened early on in our relationship and continued when I was 21,22,23,now,25. Every time I confronted him he told me it wasn’t him talking to the girl it was his friend using his Facebook to talk to her, or that what I was reading never really happened. One time we both didn’t have Facebook and he was acting super distant and I felt like maybe he deactivated his fb and so I reactivated mine, sure enough he had and then I found out he was messaging another girl from back home (my home town) asking her to come visit him (he was in SoCal stationed at the time) asked for her number, talked to her about how they used to have so much fun together.. my stomach went sick and I confronted him (the previous night he was reassuring me he loved me so much and he would be with me forever While He was talking to this other girl!) when I confront him he breaks up with me and doesn’t apologize, he denies it and cuts me cold turkey and my world spins thinking I just lost the greatest thing. Fast forward a few months and I take him back like an idiot and he’s over at my house and leaves his phone.. so I scroll back to the date of when we broke up to a convo he had with his buddy.. the convo was a screen shot of me calling him out about the fb messages and he goes to his bud “deny everything” and then says “whatever man I’ve screwed ten girls since I’ve been with her I deserve it” I see that statement and My stomach is sick. I called him out and he says it’s not true I just said that because I was hurt about hurting you. I forgive him… fast forward two years and he proposes to me. All seems dandy and we seemed so solid and so on the same page. Every once in awhile I catch him in stupid white lies but cheating was the last thing on my brain…
then he deploys and (this is his last year in the military we had been doing this distance for five years) I get a text from one of his buddies back home (one of our mutual friends) saying that he cheated on me a week before he proposed and I deserve to know since I’ve always been loyal and always been waiting for him. He sends me he screen shots of my fiancé claiming to have had sex with this girl and his bud goes was she at least good looking? And my fiancé goes “I’d do it again” this destroyed me. All these years and this is what I get. Saying it out loud I know it was right to walk away but it hurts so bad. I confront my fiancé and at first (before i show him the messages as proof) he tells me I’m crazy to believe that, why would he ever do that, it’s completely absurd blah blah so then i send the messages and he says “it’s not true I was just drunk and texted him that it never happened idk why I say stupid things when I’m drunk” and then he just left me. No fight for me, nothing.
Its been three months and he just reached out to me over email and claimed again it’s not true and that he was destroyed when he lost me, when I asked why he didn’t even bother fighting for me if he was supposed to be my future husband why wasn’t I worth the fight? He said I did this. He said “you gave back the ring you walked away not me I didn’t do this”
didi I make a huge mistake that cost me my best friend and husband??? I am so confused