(Closed) Is this the worst proposal experience of all time?

posted 4 years ago in Proposals
Post # 2
1654 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

I think you’re overthinking this. He wanted to propose to you and tried really hard to hide the ring box and you ended up finding it. Would you have been more happy if he had just not proposed to you then and waited a few more weeks? Probably not. 

Why did you want to be caught off guard with the proposal? It seems like he gave you a great one, which you also agree to, but I feel like he would have lost either way with the experience, if he had proposed to you that day, or if he had held on to the ring and waited so you could be surprised. 

At the end of the day you’re engaged to the man you love and hopefully that’s all that matters. Congratulations 🙂

Post # 3
1603 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

You didn’t ruin the proposal. It sucks that it wasn’t the surprise you wanted it to be, but it’s still such a sweet story, and you’re engaged now, aren’t you?

Also, I was half expecting this to be a reboot of the dog poop proposal story, hahah.

Post # 4
119 posts
Blushing bee

weddingbee87:  I think you’re both overthinking this? He proposed beautifully, you got a ring, you’re getting married. I feel like dwelling on the fight and insisting that you had to be totally surprised is unproductive and just…pointless. 

I’ll be totally honest–I’m not really understanding why this is such a big deal. This all just seems like a non issue. Why is/was it so important to both of you that it was a complete surprise? At this point, you need to let go. 

The marriage is a million times more important than the proposal. Focus on that. 

Post # 5
476 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

First, congrats on your engagement! As for the proposal, I think you are way over thinking things. It’s obvious that most girls want the fairytale movie style proposal, but that just doesn’t happen most of the time. It’s also common for couples to argue right before a proposal. You can probably check out some of the proposal stories on here and see that trend. I think it’s just the anxiety and stress around trying to make it big or having such high hopes for “the most romantic proposal of all time!” The proposal doesn’t matter in the big scheme of things. It’s your love and commitment to one another that makes the marriage great and lasting. 

Post # 6
3725 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Still, I don’t feel engaged and am scared to tell people out of fear that I won’t look happy when I tell people. I have no deisre to plan the wedding. I want to pretend this never happened. Every day I wish that it didn’t. I wish I could go back in time. I don’t want to start our married life out like this. I’m even thinking of seeking a professional for some talk therapy because I can’t get past this and move forward.

Congratulations, you are engaged! Yes, it totally sucks that you two didn’t have a perfect blissful proposal but that’s ok. It’s life. Life’s not perfect. Many a grand marriage has been realized despite imperfect proposals. It’s not the end of the world and I think, with time, you’ll both be able to smile looking back.

Post # 8
556 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

You’re making a mountain out of a mole hill.

Marriage can be hard. If you have such difficulty dealing with a non issue I worry if you’re prepared for the real issues that will inevitably arise in your marriage.

Post # 9
261 posts
Helper bee

he took you on vacation and proposed by writing Will you marry me? in the sand.  Sounds like a great story to me.  


life isn’t a movie, the moments are real.  your moment sounds great.  when my FH asked me, my response was “f*ck, yea, oh my god”  not the typical romantic “yes” hahaha  

Post # 10
798 posts
Busy bee

weddingbee87:  you’re making something that’s supposed to be a happy experience into something that’s making you miserable. Why aren’t you happy that you’re engaged? Is it just because it wasn’t a surprise to you? Is there something deeper going on here? Have you talked to your fiancé about how you don’t really “feel” engaged?

If this seems harsh, I’m sorry, but most girls don’t get their dream proposal. Sorry you didn’t get yours exactly the way you wanted it, but he asked, you answered, you’re engaged. That’s how it happened. My advice, start calling your friends and family, leave out the part about the argument and tell them about how he wrote in the sand. The more you start telling people, the more real it will feel. The proposal doesn’t matter, your impending marriage does.

  • This reply was modified 4 years, 4 months ago by  ren89.
Post # 11
2640 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2014 - Italian Villa

weddingbee87:  It certainly sounds like you weren’t very nice about it, telling him he should propose by the fountain, etc. It’s the one thing a guy really gets to plan, and you wanted to tell him how to do it. That being said, it’s definitely not “the worst” proposal experience ever. Plenty of women find the box or the ring itself beforehand. I’m not sure why you seemed so upset that he was about to ask you to be his wife. Hopefully you can move on from this and not fight about silly things in the future.

Post # 13
8911 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

i knew the exact date of my proposal (just not the execution). although i wasn’t surprised, it was the best proposal.  Darling Husband did want everything to be a surprise but it didn’t work out.

your proposal is fine.  you wanted it to be a surprise.  you accidentally found the box your now Fiance (i assume) was hiding.  i think you made a bigger deal of it than it should have been.

but now you have a funny story to go along with the lead up to the proposal.

Post # 15
513 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - Stevens Estate

weddingbee87:   you are way over thinking this whole situation. I understand the whole surprise element to a proposal, but a proposal is more than that. He asked you to marry him because he knows your the one he wants to be with for the rest of his life. You should be thinking about it more like that, rather than “I ruined a surprise”. Focus more on the meaning of the proposal, rather than how it happened. 

I think the proposal is hyped up way too much. Don’t get me wrong, I love a good proposal story on WB as much as the next girl. But I feel some women expect unicorns and rainbows to fly out of that ring box. 

Do not let this define how your marriage is going to turn out. Take a step back and realize it was one tiny moment in your lives together. He asked you to marry him, and that’s a hard thing for a lot of men to even do. Oh and I think he did a good job by what you said in your post, he sounds like he really cares. 

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