- 7 years ago
- Wedding: March 2010
I’ve posted several times about my bridesmaid who hasn’t responded to any emails, hasn’t called me in months and months, still has a sweatshirt I’ve begged to get back (told several times I would come over to get it if she would tell me what time she’s home), etc. She’s been extremely offputting because she said at the beginning of the year that she had no money and that her and her husband lost their apartment and that they were moving in with family. Since then she’s gone on vacation this week and other things. It’s not my place to judge their spending habits, but if you tell me you are getting sued don’t then ignore my emails about getting your dress (which I tried to find the cheapest I could) and then blow a ton of money.
Anyways, does this sound super harsh, or ok? I’m scared. I hate confronting people. Seriously.
“I’m really sorry that it’s taken me so long to get a hold of you. I really struggled for a while if I should email your or call you. Please, when you get this message, let me know, in some shape or form. I really hope that this doesn’t offend you and I don’t want to break off any friendship we have, however, I’ve really been thinking about it a lot lately and I think maybe it would be a lot easier on both of us if you just came to my wedding, rather than stand up with me. Let me explain…
When I first asked you to be my bridesmaid I was under the impression that you really valued our friendship and that you wanted to hang out much more frequently. I knew you were busy so I tried not to take offense to you not returning my phone calls or text messages, or even putting off hanging out with me all the time. However, it’s been a year now and I’ve seen you maybe a handful of times. I don’t expect to go out to dinner all the time, or even to have endless phone conversations every night. I guess maybe all I wanted was a text message here or there, and maybe a suggestion to hang out and watch a movie (even if it was at my place). I just feel like there was a lot of times promises or deals were made, and nothing was followed through on. I spent a lot of nights by the phone, waiting for a text response or a phone call only to go to bed disappointed.
Also, I’m not sure if you’ve gotten your dress yet or not, but I know that the last time you called me you were struggling financially with stuff. When you moved into your aunt and uncles house I didn’t expect to hang out with you all the time, but I did expect that we got closer to the wedding date my emails would have even the simplest response—again nothing. It is now nearing the end of May and while it is my fault for not calling you as well, I haven’t heard anything from you about the wedding since we found my dress and fell in love (that was the end of last summer, by the way).
Please, don’t take it that I don’t want you to celebrate with me on the big day. I can’t wait to party it up and have the time of my life. I just feel that I would hate for you to spend the money on a dress that you can’t afford, when you can just as easily show up to my wedding to support Steven and I in getting married without the entire struggle. Also, it’s not that I don’t want to be friends with you—because I do—it is simply that at this moment, we are not nearly as close as I thought you wanted to be by now. Please don’t take this to heart. If you do not feel that the feelings are mutual email me, we can chit chat about it. I really don’t want to break off our friendship; I just want you to know how I feel.