(Closed) Is this too much to ask of the guests?

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 17
Member
472 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

View original reply
@melonseeds:  This. Check first, but it’s very likely that they’ll just have to bring their id and car insurance card with them and provide it at the gate. You can put a note in the invite specifying that it will be neccesary to bring a government ID and for the driver to have proof of insurance for each car and why. But they likely won’t need to give you that info- just show it to the gate guard when they arrive.

Post # 18
Member
2683 posts
Sugar bee

I had to do this to attend a wedding at the naval academy and I didn’t mind.  The bride and groom were very clear on the RSVP cards that you had to check in and provide an ID.  Everybody knew what to expect and I don’t think anybody had any issues.  No way would I share that info with the bride and groom on an RSVP card though.  Just put a sentence about how guests will need to provide it upon arrival and they will figure it out.

Post # 19
Member
3723 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@HonoraryNerd:  So the base wants a gate access list. This is totally normal. I wouldn’t count this venue out!

Post # 20
Member
1405 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2017 - Seattle, WA

I would not mind giving out my full name and DL #, I guess I don’t see what the big deal is.  It’s not like it’s your social security number!

Post # 21
Member
3 posts
Wannabee

There’s no way I’d provide that information, sorry.

 

Post # 22
Hostess
3571 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Eh, it wouldn’t bother me, but I have had to go through much worse to get into certain buildings/compounds before. I think it entirely depends on your guests, but I think it would be a bit unreasonable for someone to get worked up over showing their license at the military base gate. After all, it’s a military base. 

Post # 23
Member
2624 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@HonoraryNerd:  That’s a bit much, but it really depends on your group. My Fiance is in the military and we considered getting married at the same type of venue. All that attending guests would have needed was an ID to get on base at the gate. Sending your info to someone on a card to keep seems like a lot.

A good friend of mind did indeed have her wedding at this type of venue because her dad is a Vet, and she had no problem with people entering with proper ID. She didn’t have to collect a list of DL#s though.

Post # 24
Member
234 posts
Helper bee

I’m American but with Mexican heritage. I totally don’t see anything wrong with having to provide you with this information. I also do totally understnad the whole “Mexicans” don’t RSVP because they just don’t and it sucks. Yes my “Mexican” family members also bring other family memebers. It might be hard to get the Rsvps but it’s just something you will have to communicate with everyone which hopefully they will understand. I’ve been to “mexican” weddings where they have to have invite to come in only because it has gotten carried away with people bringing other people.

Post # 25
Member
175 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2022 - Greece

@HonoraryNerd:  How fortunate that you have an option at less cost.  I would be very specific on the actual invitation (in the address area or at bottom) and also on RSVP card have a space for actual spelling of name to match ID.  Also might want to follow up closer to date with a call that you received RSVP for 4 people & their names. 

Due to wedding venue: only those who RSVP will be put on a list and allowed entrance to facility, identification will be required for each person, no exceptions will be made per military security.

Good luck and congratulations!

Post # 26
Member
1554 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@HonoraryNerd:  I think it’s reasonable, especially if you get a great venue.

Honestly, it may be difficult to get the information, but if you let them know in their invitation that you need that information in order for them to be allowed on base, and that they will be unable to attend without providing such information, I think most reasonable people will be fine with it.

Post # 27
Member
5949 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2018

@HonoraryNerd:  Meh…I don’t think its too much to ask, I mean….if they want to attend the wedding, this is the cost of admission, right?

The base will also want to make sure every vehicle coming in is insured, and they’re real sticklers about the registration and the insurance being under the same person’s name….I bet if you asked the base, they’d have an information sheet for you to include in your invites.

Honestly, I wouldn’t care.  Its just part of the deal when a friend or family member gets married on a base…I think it would be kind of nifty!

Post # 28
Member
428 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

Well, it’s not that unreasonable, but I can see how people would be put off by the request. Those who will come will come, and those who won’t won’t. I’d be more worried about the atmosphere the military base is creating for your wedding. If people have to go through an intensive check-in process and give personal info to be approved for entry, that might reflect negatively on their perception of the wedding. Like they would always be keeping one eye out in case the “principal” walks by.

Post # 29
Member
1643 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

View original reply
@Kings7911:  I would be careful though. In certain states there is a very close tie between your DL number and your SS number, and the DL number is often used as a verification for other things. If it falls into the wrong hands, people can use it as a form of identity theft against you.

OP this is not me thinking you wouldn’t keep the info secure, I just wouldn’t trust other intermediaries such as email or postal mail to secure that for all of your guests.

Post # 31
Member
294 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

I’m getting married in a gated community where it is pretty stingy to get through the gate. We will provide the gate with a list of the attendants, and when each guest arrives at the gate the security guard will take their license, and their license plate number.

a lot of people get married at this place though, so its not uncommon. I don’t think its a big deal at all.

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