(Closed) Is this too much to ask of the guests?

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 48
2443 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I would have no problem doing this for someone close to me, especially family.

Post # 49
2597 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@HonoraryNerd:  I’ve never heard that Mexicans don’t RSVP.  That made me laugh.

Its not so much that I think its too much to ask so much as it sounds like you’d be buying yourself a nightmare trying to track down all this information.  Spare yourself the aggro and agnst!  Find another venue. 

Post # 50
1632 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

As guests RSVP call them up and ask for the info and then agree on a time to give them the pass.

Post # 51
230 posts
Helper bee

Why don’t you offer transportation onto the base via a rented bus or somethinng? Then you don’t need to worry about that stuff.

Post # 52
20 posts

If I got an invittion like that for a family or close friend I would completely understand. If it was a distant cousin or friend I don’t really care for, I would just RSVP no.

Post # 53
4192 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

Check with the base- she may be getting this info second hand, and for a social event, they may have different regulations. Can’t hurt to call, and that way you’re getting the correct info.

Post # 54
224 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

View original reply
@HonoraryNerd:  I would definitely call and double check with them! I was just on base with my mom too pick up my brother, and all I had to do, was stop at the visitors gate check and show my ID and insurance. I wouldn’t have an issue giving you the information ahead of time, it just seems like it might be easier to do it at the gate for me peronally any how. I would just call and double check before you make a decision.

Post # 55
839 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@HonoraryNerd:  Yeah, it’s too much unfortunately. Asking your guests to answer what sounds like a lot of invasive questions so they can attend your wedding would be weird and inappropriate. Plus, it sounds like a venue with very tight admittance procedures wouldn’t be a good fit for your guests. 

Post # 56
7650 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

I wouldn’t have a problem giving this information to a close friend or family member. Are you having a small wedding?

However, I do think you will have a hard time getting RSVPs back if you do this. I see enough stories here (and had my own experiences) about people trying to track people down and that’s just to find out if they’re coming.!

Post # 57
513 posts
Busy bee

@HonoraryNerd:  I don’t think it’s too much to ask at all. It’s your driver’s license number, not your SSN. I guess people are lulled into some false sense of security thinking that this is super secret information they’re being asked to hand over. That’s standard procedure for getting onto a military base and, at least in my circle, people would understand. People are so touchy about things.

I do, however, think it would be a pain in the rear trying to track down the information. But that alone wouldn’t make me discount it as a venue.

Post # 58
1798 posts
Buzzing bee

I would not want to provide so much personal information just to attend a wedding, and I would probably be very confused since I have no experience with military bases. You’ve already said this could be a pretty big problem for your family members, so I would try to find another venue that won’t be so strict with the guest list.

Post # 59
1832 posts
Buzzing bee

I was in the military for 26 years and have heard this requirement more than a handful of times as collegues were planning an on post wedding.  DL number was always required ahead of time with a detailed guest list.

Since others are saying they have had a different experience I would call and talk to the appropriate office to get it “from the horse’s mouth” and then make your decision.

Since DL # is quite often asked for on credit applications I can understand people’s hesitation to provide it.  Having been in for 26 years I get why it is a requirement.

Only you can decide what is best for your venue location, but whatever their rules and reguations are – they won’t bend them if someone shows up at the gate and they aren’t on the list.

Post # 60
3172 posts
Sugar bee

I would not want to put all that information on a RSVP card. 

Post # 61
419 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

@HonoraryNerd:  Idk about where you live, but where I live it’s really not that hard to get on base here. You just go to the visitor’s center and give them your registration and it takes like a min. It may take even less now because stickers aren’t even required. I know sometimes you just show your ID and they don’t care, depending on the guard of course. 

But honestly it depends on how much your guests want to come, I wouldn’t have a problem with it. But if it was someone I wasn’t that close to I could see where some people would be annoyed.

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