(Closed) Is this too weird or rude?

posted 9 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
1074 posts
Bumble bee

@techie:  I personally don’t think that it’s weird, but I know a lot of people do. I’ve been invited at the last second to weddings and I was just glad that they had thought of me when they got extra room! I didn’t feel b-listed because I wasn’t a close friend or anything, which sounds like the case here too. I wouldn’t explain the situation, they’ll probably put two and two together on their own.

Post # 4
773 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Thats a tricky one. Perhaps maybe give them a call, or something and say something like “Things have been so crazy with this wedding, I would love it if you could come”. Im sure they wont be offended, but dont mention its because you had people say no. Sometimes people like an excuse to get out and have fun.

Post # 5
399 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

It’s not the norm but if you feel as if it’s the right thing to do and they wont mind then do it.

Post # 6
705 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 1993

Eh, if you want to do it, just do it.  Ya know?

Post # 8
2597 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

This is one of those delicate situations for which there is no hard-and-fast rule (although, I guess conservatively the hard-and-fast rule is not to risk offending anyone and just leave the places bare). 

I say IF you do it, make sure that you come clean about what you are doing and that the people you are asking are the “right” type of people who will roll with it. 

Another option is to go to your family and see if there’s someone that they would like to have–it might come off as less of a “you’re second tier!” statement if it’s your Mother-In-Law calling up one of HER friends and saying, “Hey, my son and his fiance had some cancellations and asked me if I had anyone in mind who would like to join the festivities–would you like to come?” because it’s not her wedding, kwim? My DH’s family ended up asking my grandmother if she’d like to come to a wedding because of an extra space and no one was offended–Grandma was honored  they thought of her and wasn’t offended because she never had an expectation of being invited in the first place. 

Post # 10
4192 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

Another thought- are there any friends who would like a plus one?

Post # 12
9541 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

A little weird? Maybe. Rude? No. I say if it won’t be awkward then go for it!

Post # 13
9164 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

View original reply
@techie:  Personally I would be offended and know that I was only deemed a good enough friend to come to the wedding because someone backed out. I understand not being invited in the first place but to get a seriously late B list invite would make me feel bad and I couldn’t help but think how many people said no on the b list before you got to me!

Can you maybe see if the costs can be put into something else? Cheese platters or are you having a cocktail hour and can include an extra finger food? Maybe talk to your venue.

Post # 14
785 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I don’t think I would be offended if I were asked. But then again I understand the stresses of budget constraints too. If you think that these people would be the type to be able to roll with it, then I say go ahead and ask away!

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