(Closed) Is this unusual?

posted 2 years ago in Guests
Post # 2
Member
5268 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: July 2018

I don’t really get the issue, what part do you have a problem with?  It sounds like no ‘plus ones’ are attending the ceremony so it isn’t a slight to you.  

Your fiance is the one who is friends with them so he should be the one more involved in their gift, you shouldn’t be the one unilaterally making that decision.  Personally I don’t give a gift based off how much I think the couple have spent but based on how close I am to them.  

Post # 3
Member
2346 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2018

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crashbee :  I’m fine with the small ceremony/big reception thing (I did it myself), but it does sound pretty shitty that they arent even properly hosting the reception. Do the people attending the ceremony get an actual dinner, or just cake and a drink?

I assume your fiance is giving a gift, so I would just sign my name on that and not get a seperate one.

Post # 5
Member
3439 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Evening dos are normal here so nothing strange in what they are doing at all.

out of interest would you feel this way if you liked the bride and groom? 

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crashbee :  

Post # 6
Member
5268 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: July 2018

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crashbee :  I guess I just don’t understand why it matters if it is unusual.  Sure, it is unusual in the sense that a large portion of weddings have a sit down dinner reception but weddings come in all shapes and sizes so I don’t get the big deal that they want to have something smaller and more low key.  Perhaps it is structured like a UK wedding and the immediate family and bridal party will be having a meal after the ceremony and everyone else is joining for a drink later. 

Post # 7
Member
8363 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: Dorset, UK

View original reply
crashbee :  What they spend and how they go about spending their money is none of your business. The might have money but it doesn’t mean they have to spend it. Considering you don’t really like either of them you don’t HAVE to go, but if you do, please at least have the good grace not to judge their choices. 

Post # 10
Member
5268 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: July 2018

Wow you need to relax, it is clear you started this thread to rant about your fiance’s friend’s choices whether you are admitting to that or not.

Is it unusual?  Not particularly, cake and punch receptions have been around for hundreds of years. The majority of weddings probably include a sit down dinner but many people chose a simple brunch, or cake and punch wedding. 

I don’t understand why you think it is so odd.  They chose a small intimate ceremony and they want to meet their wider friends in a bar later that night to celebrate.  

Post # 11
Member
8144 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

This would be unheard of in my circle, and incredibly rude. I don’t like the idea of “evening only” invites anyways, so I’d probably not attend. 

Post # 14
Member
5268 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: July 2018

View original reply
jellybellynelly :  Can I ask why it is rude?  I don’t see why it needs to be an all or nothing approach.  It sounds like they just want to celebrate with some less close friends after their wedding at a bar – why is that rude? 

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