(Closed) Is this wedding even going to work? Doubts now…change date? (long!)

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
3316 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

Sleep would be good!

There are going to be some people who will not make it to a Thursday wedding.  You’ll likely have more than the 15 you originally thought, but less than the 50 who are now saying they would like to come.

However, this is not an all or nothing thing.  You won’t end up with no one on a Thursday.  You won’t end up with everyone on a Saturday.  So you just have to figure out whether the mini-moon is important enough to you to have a few fewer people at the wedding.

As for picking people up at the airport or bringing them back, you can offer to try.  However, our experience was that most people wanted to have their own transportation and to be able to come and go at times that worked for them, instead of trying to sync schedules so that we could pick them all up.  Even though we were married near Boston, which has its own airport, we had people who were coming into the Portland, ME airport, and people who were coming into the New York City airport.  In both instances, they decided to take a few extra days and see people/things in the area, as well as our wedding.

As for a Prop 8-type thing in Iowa, I see it as extremely unlikely.  The big problem in CA was that the vote occurred so soon after gay marriage became legal.  Thus, it was possible to scare people into believing that all sorts of bad things would happen if gay marriage stayed legal.

In Iowa, however, gay marriage is not going to come up this year.  If the Republicans take control, it could come up in 2011.  However, for a constitutional amendment to pass, the legislature would have to vote in both 2011 and 2012 to have a referendum on the issue, and then people would have to vote to eliminate gay marriage.  The experience in Massachusetts is that right after gay marriage happens, there are a lot of people wanting to vote it down.  However, a year or two later, people have figured out that civilization as we know it has not ended, and are just not all that interested in repeal.  Since gay marriage could not be voted down in Iowa before 2012, I suspect the momentum will be gone by then.

For right now, just keep breathing.  The wedding is doable.  You will end up married to the one you love.  That really will outweigh anything else that does or does not happen.

Post # 4
363 posts
Helper bee

I think you’re driving yourself crazy by over analyzing everything lol…I also do the same by worrying about every little thing.  If you really think that people won’t be able to attend due to work is there anyway you could have it on Friday and then possibly just let the kids miss the following Monday and Tuesday so you can still get your mini moon?  Is there anyway ya’ll could take off an extra 2 days and fly home on that Monday?  Have the friends that have jobs expressed concern about the day and not being able to miss work?  Or perhaps you could arrange for a sitter the following weekend and take a mini moon in texas? 

Post # 5
1315 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

You seem to be freaking yourself out here, for truly small enough reasons. If people know the date of your wedding, they’ll plan accordingly. Anyone who loves you will be there, regardless of the day. You’re being very considerate thinking of transport and accomodation etc, but I’m guessing these are all adults you’re fussing about! Let go, they’ll be fine! You’ve got a lovely venue, in a lovely place. It’ll be grand. Once they all get a good meal after the ceremony sure there won’t be a bother on them!

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