Is this what life is?

posted 2 months ago in The Lounge
Post # 2
Member
4140 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

kris277 :  

I think we all go through this at certain points. I think it might be a sign that you are missing something in your life. A hobby could be helpful, maybe volunteering.

I would look into a different field of work though. It’s draining to have to get up every day and go to a job that you don’t like.

We spend so much time at work, I think if you find a line of work that suits you, it will be better for you.

I like being left alone lol. I like working at my desk with the ability to listen to music and that I am trusted to get my work done and to not be micro managed. I don’t believe I would be happy working with people all day, I enjoy being behind the scenes. I have also been in jobs that I hated. It spilled into other areas of my life, and my Sunday’s were ruined just by the thought of having to come back to work the following day.

Honestly, I would look into the schooling if you think it will give you a job that’s more suited to your needs.

Post # 3
Member
3366 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

Everyone gets in a rut sometimes so it’s important to look objectively and try to force some motivation, then you will naturally have more.  Yes you work 5 days a week but that doesn’t need to mean “what is the point of life if all I do is work?”. You’re home by 5:45/6pm which can feel like the end of the day but it really isn’t. 

Seems like the only free time I have together with my husband is on weekends.  What do you do during the week? Why don’t you pick 2 nights at least to do something with your SO rather than sit at home.  Go for dinner or drinks one evening, go to the gym together, go out for coffee and a long walk etc.  There is no reason your evenings can’t be as fun as the weekend. 

Going back to school for three years definitely could be worth it, it’s three years vs the rest of your life.  Is there any way to slowly transition into a role involving less interaction without retraining? Could you get to a role you like more by working for three years rather than going back to school. 

Then there’s the face that not everyone loves their job, some people just love the lifestyle it gives them and that’s a totally valid viewpoint.  

 Will going part time possibly make me happier? 

That differs from person to person, what would you do on the days you aren’t working?  Some days it’s easy to think ‘I wish I didn’t have to work’ but I know that I wouldn’t be happier working part time, my FI and friends would be in work so I wouldn’t have social interaction and I would mostly waste time at home cleaning and mooching around.  Plus having less money would definitely not make me happier.  Also I would feel guilty that my husband was working a lot harder than me because I just didn’t want to do full time.

Would your SO want you to go part time? How would that affect your fiances?  Could you go part time in your current workplace? 

Post # 4
Member
1287 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2018

kris277 :  I don’t LOVE my job but it pays me very well so I deal with it. I would love to do something I’m actually passionate about, ideally I would do something involving animal rescue. But, husband and I like to buy expensive things and travel as often as we can so that’s currently not an option for me (maybe after we retire in 30 years…). I may switch companies but keep doing the same thing, I’ve been here for over 6 years and feel stagnant so that may be part of my problem as well. 

Is the care that you provide your patients suffering because you hate your profession so much? If that’s the case, you should definitely start figuring out something else to do. 

If you went to part time, what would you do with the rest of your time? Your husband would likely still be working full time so that wouldn’t allow you more time with him. 

I think it’s pretty normal to get into a routine during the week and use your weekends for the fun stuff, my husband and I commute so we’re gone from 6AM to 5 PM everyday, then we usually go to the gym, then cook dinner, etc. Usually once a week we do a date night though like during the middle of the week to break it all up, and that seems to help.

All this being said- I’m turning 31 next month. I spent my early/mid twenties partying and being pretty wild, so I think I’ve gotten a lot out of my system. I lived A LOT during those years and I’m perfectly happy to be getting in to a slower paced lifestyle.

Post # 5
Member
1632 posts
Bumble bee

My life used to be like this. I got a new job and it’s so much better. You need to find a job you really enjoy because that’s where you’ll be spending a majority of your waking life. It’s sad to think about it like that, but it’s just reality. When you are working at a job you enjoy, you won’t feel so down in the dumps about your life.

Post # 6
Member
1065 posts
Bumble bee

I work 9-5 mon-fri and honestly, it’s a means to an end.  I truly appreciate my weekends and it affords me the luxury of vacations.  Do I love my job?  No.  But I love what it allows me to do.  Plus, I was in between jobs this summer and had a few weeks off and I was bored to death.  I need to work.  

My fiance is 15 years older than me and will retire in about 10 years and he said he’d like me to go to part time at that point, so that we can travel more together.  I’m not banking on that, but if we can financially get to a point where we can afford for me to go part time then that’s what we’ll do.    

Post # 7
Member
284 posts
Helper bee

I like my job. Hate waking up for it and being here, but ots something I’d probably volunteer to do once a week 

I don’t think you have to love your job to be happy, but I do think you can’t hate your job and be happy.

Going back to school could be worth it for sure . 3 years vs 40 something years is nothing. If you go part time rn how much money do you lose? 

Some things to consider: 

Are you dealing with your stress? 

Are you fulfilled in other places?

 

Post # 8
Member
11 posts
Newbee

I feel your pain. The 9-5 is grueling no matter what way you look at it. It’s hard to think this is your life for many many years. I always think of my upcoming vacations or days off to give me joy. I hate my job right now for so many reasons, including a 1.5 hr commute, but I try to think of things that help. Like my boss being cool, my coworkers, that it allows me enough money to live a comfortable life, etc.

Post # 9
Member
467 posts
Helper bee

I think you’re stuck in a rut and it’s pretty normal, saying that I would give my right arm for a job with regular hours and days. I don’t even get weekends with my fiancé so you’re luckier than some of us. I work any 5 out of 7 days a week, Any 8 hours in that 24 hour period. So yeah what I wouldn’t give for some boring routine.

Post # 10
Member
106 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: January 2019

I have felt this way for so many years now too. I think I had extremely high expectations for adulthood because my mom was a stay at home mom and my dad worked in a very unconventional career that had him traveling regularly and living a pretty extravagant life. My nightmare was to grow up to be a standard 9-5er in an office job counting away the days until their next vacation. But then again I live in a Government city so this is pretty standard and most people work in office positions. Well, here I am.. 8:30-4:30 Mon-Fri as a Legal Assistant. I live for the weekends and for my vacations. I spend pretty much every day wondering why I do this. I try to make the weeknights more interesting but by the time I get home from my long commute it’s after 6, we have dinner, then I can maybe squeeze in some gym time. My SO works an extremely laborious trades job and gets up every day at the crack of dawn so he’s in bed pretty early. I have started to go to bed with him too because at least we are together, even if he is asleep. Also, I am pregnant so I need the extra sleep…  but I am literally counting the days down until I have maternity leave when I can have the joys of a new baby and when they’re a little older we can do interesting things outside or walk around the city to entertain ourselves instead of just sitting in an office staring at a screen all day. I am hoping to go back to school someday and find something that will bring me more intrinsic joy, like perhaps something outdoorsy or at least something that helps others. I went into Law to make a difference but honestly, I just do billing and write letters…  

Post # 12
Member
1520 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

There are probably the rare few, but the majority of people work for the weekends. There’s a song about it and everything! But seriously, that’s just he way of life. The higher paying jobs are higher paying for a reason, either requiring lots of schooling and likely school debt, or long hours, or travel, etc. some jobs (like mine) don’t pay as well as they should, and still require the above! That’s just life. 

Post # 13
Member
1744 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2017 - Pearson Convention Centre

I have been at my full-time job for two years I am a social worker and I work in Children’s Aid Society. I truly enjoy my job and I find it very rewarding and fulfilling knowing that I helped a child that was in an abusive situation. I am currently pregnant and we have planned on having two or three children while I’m a stay at home mom but I have all of the intentions to one day go back to work

Post # 13
Member
1744 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2017 - Pearson Convention Centre

I have been at my full-time job for two years I am a social worker and I work in Children’s Aid Society. I truly enjoy my job and I find it very rewarding and fulfilling knowing that I helped a child that was in an abusive situation. I am currently pregnant and we have planned on having two or three children while I’m a stay at home mom but I have all of the intentions to one day go back to work

Post # 15
Member
559 posts
Busy bee

I was a lab tech for 6 years, we call them biomedical scientists in the U.K. though which I much prefer. Would not recommend it as a job, I’m not sure which country you’re in and what the job is like there, but if it’s anything like in the U.K. don’t do it. Pay is crap for the stress and level of responsibility, hours are dreadful and will have you dreaming of a 9-5. I’m talking 12-13 hour shifts any day or night of the year, nights, weekends, bank holidays, Christmas Day etc. Regular lone working shifts, no set shift patterns so unable to commit to any hobbies.

You get no respect from anyone, have nurses and even health care assistants talking to you like you’re an idiot despite you being senior to most of them. People think you just push buttons all day and don’t recognise it’s a degree entry profession which requires a substantial amount of training, knowledge and responsibility. You need to know how to interpret every single test you do, how to maintain and fix every analyser in the lab, how to perform multiple tests and the way every test works, you need to be able to identify different parasites, leukaemia etc and know the type from looking at a smear of blood. You must also have an understanding of how different diseases affect test results and what is normal for the patient, and that’s just the half of it. 

There’s a huge amount that goes in to the job and no one appreciates it, they think all you do is put a sample on an analyser and it pops out a result. If you work in transfusion you could literally kill someone and be convicted of manslaughter from a relatively small mistake you made on your third consecutive 12 hour night shit lone working (it happens) during three major haemorrhages and your only working analyser breaking down. 

I left and am retraining for a clinical role. If you’re really interested in this as a career you need to do some shadowing and speak to people who actually do the job, because if I did that before starting my degree I would have done something else. 

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