(Closed) Is this wording for the RSVP’s rude?

posted 7 years ago in Latino
Post # 3
445 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I think that is reasonable to add, especially since you reached capacity. 

Post # 4
1014 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

some people choose to do it this way

m ___________________

__ will attend   ___ will not attend

we have reservered __ seats in your honor (then you fill in the # of people you’re inviting, so they know you’ve only given them 1 seat or 4 seats or whatever)

for my sister’s wedding, we were worried about this problem… she married into a large hispanic family, and we actually printed out everyones name on the rsvp like this

Aunt Sue and Uncle John

__will attend  __will not attend

we only had 1 crasher, so I think it worked pretty well!!


ETA: I think if you wanted to add the line about not being able to accomidate everyone could be totally okay, if you know your family won’t take offense by it.

Post # 5
1165 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

@simplifiedbride: We did the first option listed here…just put the number of seats reserved for each invitation.  We only had one person try to add someone, thankfully.

Post # 6
7291 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

Small town wedding is difficult especially since in general there is a strong sense of community and family, then adding your cultural heritage it is very difficult to not feel like you are leaving people out or being rude by not letting “crashers” in.

In america  most people know with wedding etiquette know that unless you specify a “plus” one then inviting outside of your addressed family is rude on their part. 

It sounds tasteful to me! Good luck


Post # 8
11166 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

I don’t think it is rude at all, we have to cut the guest count somewhere right?

I do like the suggestion made bysimplifiedbride too. It paints the picture a little more clearly on just how many people are invited. We intend to do this as well.

Post # 10
247 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Yeah, I think’s perfectly reasonable to specify how many seats and to add a note about the venue being at capacity already. You’re showing more concern than I did when I started getting questions like that! The first person who asked me I just flat-out told she was isn’t invited (she was my ex-girlfriend from college and my fiance and I agreed to no exes). She flipped out a little! I was surprised, because I didn’t think she cared that much about it, but I apologized for being so blunt and we’re okay now.

Post # 12
2742 posts
Sugar bee

I feel you. I’m African and we do this. I did the whole __ seats have been reserved. _ of _ attending… and I filled the second __ with the number that would be able to attend. I STILL had crashers. AFTER I spread the word that it was a tight guestlist. Fortunately, some folks didn’t show so all’s well that ends well.

Post # 13
665 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I like it, it’s polite yet to the point with out any space for misunderstanding. I might just use that!

Post # 14
538 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011 - Franciscan Gardens

I did something similar to what some of the other ladies have suggested:

The favor of your reply is requested on or before August 1, 2011

We have reserved X Seats in your honor


___of _X_ Accept(s) with pleasure

___ Declines with Regrets

*ETA- It’s important to put the ___of____ Because, say you invite a family of 3 but only 2 can come, then they would put 2 of 3 Accept and 1 declines…… if not, it looks like no one or all are coming.

Post # 15
570 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

@MzSoon2b: No, the wording is not rude rather it is very appropriate.

Just for laughs…
Being Mexican myself what is rude is telling people they can’t bring friends of the friends of the friends. You will be the talk of the town. “A no MsSoon2B no nos invito esa sangrona que no habia campo pero mira que grande boda tuvo”Laughing
That happens even in 15, bautizos, eventos especiales

Luck and no the wording is not rude

Post # 16
629 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I think that the best option is as a lot of other bees posted above, either put how many seats are reserved, or if it’s a big family, list exactly who’s invited on the envelope – mom, dad, kids – by name.  That should also help alleviate any confusion.  If you write like, “Mr. and Mrs. John Smither & Family”, that leaves the door wide open for interpretation of what ‘and family’ means.  🙂

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