Post # 1
I am the first of my generation of cousins, etc to get married. I come from a huge mexican family (mostly on my dad’s side) thats from a small town where everyone knows everyone. So with that said, my wedding is highly anticipated and everyone wants to be invited. I know this because everyone ( family, people from my dad’s same town) is constantly mentioning my wedding to my parents and asking if they are invited (I hardly ever attend family parties but my parents sometimes do) My venue is medium sized and has a capacity of a little over 200 people. My guestlist has reached its max, with every single seat counted for. There is a garden patio area where I will be placing extra tables and chairs for people to be able to sit outside to mingle and get drinks (bar will be set up outside) but I don’t want to use that area to seat guests. I have a feeling people will show up univited or some of my guests invite other people that I did not invite.
I added (still have not printed) a note on my RSVP cards somewhere along the lines of unfortunately due to limited seating will will not be able to accomodate any additional guests, which reads in spanish: “Lamentaqblemente, debido a espacio limitado no podemos acomedir personas adicionales” Is this rude?
If so, how do I word the RSVP card to let people understand that they can only bring their family (kids,wife) and not invite a bus load of people to my wedding?
I’ve had to tell verbally a few of my friends and cousins that they can not bring a plus one * ( just significant others I have never met)
Please help me!
Post # 3
I think that is reasonable to add, especially since you reached capacity.
Post # 4
some people choose to do it this way
__ will attend ___ will not attend
we have reservered __ seats in your honor (then you fill in the # of people you’re inviting, so they know you’ve only given them 1 seat or 4 seats or whatever)
for my sister’s wedding, we were worried about this problem… she married into a large hispanic family, and we actually printed out everyones name on the rsvp like this
Aunt Sue and Uncle John
__will attend __will not attend
we only had 1 crasher, so I think it worked pretty well!!
ETA: I think if you wanted to add the line about not being able to accomidate everyone could be totally okay, if you know your family won’t take offense by it.
Post # 5
@simplifiedbride: We did the first option listed here…just put the number of seats reserved for each invitation. We only had one person try to add someone, thankfully.
Post # 6
Small town wedding is difficult especially since in general there is a strong sense of community and family, then adding your cultural heritage it is very difficult to not feel like you are leaving people out or being rude by not letting “crashers” in.
In america most people know with wedding etiquette know that unless you specify a “plus” one then inviting outside of your addressed family is rude on their part.
It sounds tasteful to me! Good luck
Post # 7
Adding the number of seats reserved for each invite is a great idea! I was thinking of listing the persons invited but some have 3 kids and it might be to long…
Post # 8
I don’t think it is rude at all, we have to cut the guest count somewhere right?
I do like the suggestion made bysimplifiedbride too. It paints the picture a little more clearly on just how many people are invited. We intend to do this as well.
Post # 9
Thank you ladies for the feedback and reassurance! I feel so relieved
Post # 10
Yeah, I think’s perfectly reasonable to specify how many seats and to add a note about the venue being at capacity already. You’re showing more concern than I did when I started getting questions like that! The first person who asked me I just flat-out told she was isn’t invited (she was my ex-girlfriend from college and my fiance and I agreed to no exes). She flipped out a little! I was surprised, because I didn’t think she cared that much about it, but I apologized for being so blunt and we’re okay now.
Post # 11
So this is what I came up with based on the feed back I recieved from you ladies:
the favour of a reply is requested
before september 10th, 2011
We have reserved ___ seats in your honor
_______ accepts _______ regrets
*unfortunately, due to limited seating we can not accommodate any additional guest
what do you guys think.. I was thinking of handwriting the names in the blank so it can look more personalized. I am working on th spanish version
Post # 12
I feel you. I’m African and we do this. I did the whole __ seats have been reserved. _ of _ attending… and I filled the second __ with the number that would be able to attend. I STILL had crashers. AFTER I spread the word that it was a tight guestlist. Fortunately, some folks didn’t show so all’s well that ends well.
Post # 13
I like it, it’s polite yet to the point with out any space for misunderstanding. I might just use that!
Post # 14
- Wedding: September 2011 - Franciscan Gardens
I did something similar to what some of the other ladies have suggested:
The favor of your reply is requested on or before August 1, 2011
We have reserved X Seats in your honor
___of _X_ Accept(s) with pleasure
___ Declines with Regrets
*ETA- It’s important to put the ___of____ Because, say you invite a family of 3 but only 2 can come, then they would put 2 of 3 Accept and 1 declines…… if not, it looks like no one or all are coming.
Post # 15
@MzSoon2b: No, the wording is not rude rather it is very appropriate.
Just for laughs…
Being Mexican myself what is rude is telling people they can’t bring friends of the friends of the friends. You will be the talk of the town. “A no MsSoon2B no nos invito esa sangrona que no habia campo pero mira que grande boda tuvo”
That happens even in 15, bautizos, eventos especiales
Luck and no the wording is not rude
Post # 16
I think that the best option is as a lot of other bees posted above, either put how many seats are reserved, or if it’s a big family, list exactly who’s invited on the envelope – mom, dad, kids – by name. That should also help alleviate any confusion. If you write like, “Mr. and Mrs. John Smither & Family”, that leaves the door wide open for interpretation of what ‘and family’ means. 🙂