(Closed) Is this workplace bullying? WWYD?

posted 2 months ago in The Lounge
Post # 2
10542 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2016

That comment is inappropriate in the workplace no matter who it is directed to. You can have a friendly, joking workplace that does not involve jokes that put people down. The coworker who said it is an asshole. This is the type of small shit people let slide all the time that helps create a toxic work environment.

I would have called him out and told him not to be a jerk. And I’d do it in the future for all similar types of “jokes” directed toward anyone.

We all have coworkers who annoy us. Be a fucking adult and treat them with respect and be professional.

Post # 3
190 posts
Blushing bee

I’d would have called the person out, totally unacceptable. I’ve heard similar comments at work, and even if it’s in a light way, someone usually cautions the person from saying certain things. I agree that such comments can blossom into a toxic work environment, where almost anyone would become the victim. Personally, even if I were well-liked, that comment wouldn’t have sat well with me. It’s extremely rude, and I would assume that there was some truth in that person’s jest. It’s important to make sure people know—in a calm, office-appropiate way—that you’re not one to be trifled with. He needs to stand up for himself more, but I wouldn’ve let that pass if I were around. 

Post # 5
393 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

View original reply
@hikingbride:  I totally agree!

When people make those little jokes that really are inappropriate but so small they seem not worth addressing, I play dumb and make them explain it.

A simple “what do you mean?” normally does the trick. No one wants to explain they’re being an asshole. If they try to shrug it off, I ask innocently again “no really, what do you mean?”

I continue to make uncomfortable eye contact with said asshole, smile and walk away. 

Post # 6
1538 posts
Bumble bee

That comment was out of line and I would have called him out on it as rude and inappropriate.  How gross and mean-spirited.

Post # 7
5343 posts
Bee Keeper

View original reply
@timonandpumba:  I have to say yes, that’s inappropriate.  For myself, I don’t think I would have said anything on the spot not because I want to keep quiet. It’s because many times, situations like this one, I am always caught off guard and cannot react immediately because I’m more like, “What just happened?”.

I’m not like some people who are quick to think of a response on their feet. It takes a bit of time for me to digest the situation and formulate an appropriate response. And when I do, I would talk to that person aside (usually one on one). Some people deserve to be called out on the spot especially if it is repetitive behavior.

Post # 8
628 posts
Busy bee

The fact that this man “has been the butt of staffroom jokes before”, coupled with the comment in question, shows issues with more than just the deputy who made the comment.  Sounds like there are ongoing issues in the workplace environment and the deputy in question isn’t the only offender.  I think the ongoing jokes and the incident in question should be reported to HR and hopefully they take appreciate action so the toxicity doesn’t continue.  None of us are perfect and I don’t think our imperfections should ridiculed by our professional peers.  If there are problems with this man’s job performance or otherwise that warrant addressing, it should be handled professionaly.  He shouldn’t be the butt end of ongoing ridicule.

Post # 9
395 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2020

This is exactly the kind of hostile environment that breeds active shooters. Just saying, little things add up behind the scenes. 

Post # 10
1221 posts
Bumble bee

How disorganized or “annoying” this man is is irrelevant. Some people just need a little extra help, and it’s nice you’re there for him. The comment was unprofessional. I would have called the deputy principle out. This poor man is the butt of everyone’s jokes, and someone should stand up for him. Why not you? Maybe people will follow your example. 

Post # 11
213 posts
Helper bee

I find this “joke” insulting and not a joke really. It’s not funny in my opinion.

Post # 12
1211 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2019

“Well, that was uncalled for.” “What a mean thing to say.” “That was rude.”

A simple clear but effective call out when it happens both in this instance and in the staff room.

“You guys are being rude.” “I’d hate to hear what you say when I’m not around.” “It’s never funny to put other people down.”

Definitely not a joke but an insult.

If the insulter than says, it was a joke. Respond with, “It wasn’t funny.”

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