(Closed) Is this wrong to do?

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 17
126 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I do not think this is tacky, but you should carefully think about the execution of this. 1. Maybe spread your intentions for giving via word of mouth or on a website 2. Give people the reasoning behind wanting to help others (I know it seems rather weird that you would need a reason, but some people may not get it) 3. Have decorated baskets or containers near the entrance or guestbook where people can place their items 4. Think about the follow-up (maybe send Thank you cards on behalf of the organization or personally).

From one giver to the other, I think this is a fabulous idea! Selflessness is the way to go!Laughing

Post # 18
688 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I would do this by spreading the word, not putting it in invites. Stating “instead of gifts” implies you’re expecting a gift (which we all are, it’s no mystery obviously). 

Word of mouth, don’t put gift info on your invites. But this idea is a very nice idea, and very selfless. 

Post # 19
249 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

@ivyblue88220:  i think this is a great way to go!!! 

BUT the plain and simple fact of the matter is there WILL be at least one (probably elderly) guest who will have a problem not giving YOU a gift.  Though I’m certain it is NOT your intention, someone will probably feel as though you are telling them how they should spend their money.  A wedding registery helps guide people toward gifts you will want because they are already assuming they are spending their money on YOU.  When they aren’t spending money on YOU, but being directed on how they should spend their money instead some people will not be happy.

I think the word of mouth recommendation from 

View original reply
@honie309:  is a good one.  i would recommend having a small registry that gives people alternatives though.

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