(Closed) Is Two Hen Parties Ok?

posted 7 months ago in Parties
Post # 2
Member
3730 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

I would not make two days of it unless everyone is good with that. You could very easily have a relaxing  pampering morning, a nice dinner, and then go out that night. That way people could come to the portions they’re comfortable with. Is it normal in your circle for aunts and mothers to come to the bachelorette party? That would have made me uncomfortable.

Post # 3
Member
460 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

I did an evening out and a spa day but not with the same people (I had the evening out with my friends, and the spa day with my mum and aunt).

I think it makes sense to do things with people they would like but I wouldn’t expect anyone to go to (and bear the cost of) both.

Post # 5
Member
460 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

idontevenknow :  in that case, yes makes total sense (to me anyway)!

Post # 6
Member
733 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: London, UK

It’s totally and normal and acceptable to do that in the UK. Literally every person I know who has had a hen do has had more than one facet to it. It’s not expected that every person attends every activity, but it means that there will likely be something that appeals to everyone at some point.

Also the majority of ones I’ve been invited to have been across more than one day.

This has largely been to accommodate for older relatives (mothers, aunts, grandmothers etc), as in my circle at least it is normal for these people to be involved in some way.

So yes, totally ok!

Post # 8
Member
772 posts
Busy bee

In the US bachelorette parties are for friends and showers are for mothers, aunts, etc. Are showers common in your area?

Post # 9
Member
7 posts
Newbee

FutureMrsBex : I think this is probably the best way to go about this. In fact, in my social circle, this is pretty much how we handle birthdays and other similar events  Around here, trying to get everyone together in the same place at the same time is like herding cats because of work and other social obligations. But, none of us want to miss out on celebrating with our friends! So, the person who is celebrating or organizing the celebration will make a Facebook event with an itinerary (for example, one such event coming up in May is starting with museums, then a nice dinner, then a stand-up comedy show, then a pub) so that friends can pick and choose which portions of the day best suit their availability and budget, and attend those. We still get to celebrateand spend time with our loved ones, without the obligation of significantly overspending or any hard feelings for either party about missing out on some part. Sometimes the organizer will add polls in the event for people to rsvp to specific portions for planning purposes, other times they’re more like “eh, show up to whichever, we’ll be at such-and-such place at such-and-such time.”

Post # 10
Member
331 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2019

If you are not planning on having the same people at both then I can’t see the problem. If you are then I’d do both on the same day which is what I’m doing, so people can choose which bit they come to. 

I am not entirely sure it’s completely normal for everyone in the UK to have 2 hens… I have never known anyone do this. I did know someone who did 3 but she was mad. 

As long as you are considerate, and you do sound as if you are being – then go for it! xx

Post # 11
Member
12119 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

I’m not big on your stereotypical bachelorette or hen parties or on the need for multiple pre-wedding events at all, but as long as there is no overlap on the guest list if separate groups want to take you out there no reason you can’t agree to a nice spa day etc. What you can’t do is plan the thing unless you are also hosting it. 

Post # 13
Member
2139 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

idontevenknow :  I think it is acceptable to have as many pre-wedding events that are thrown for you. Personally, it sounds like you may be planning both of your hens do. If your girls want to through you one for you and them great! If you want a relaxing spa day with your family great! But no need to call it a pre-wedding event as, honestly, that usually implies gifts or everyone treating the bride to the day so throwing multiple day events for yourself would come off as tacky.

ETA: I see you are still unclear about what hosting means. It refers to who is organizing and planning the event. If you say “hey lets go out of town to have drinks and celebrate b/c I’m getting married” then YOU are the one hosting. It is in bad form because pre-wedding events are typically gift-giving or treats for the bride. So you are essentially saying: “Come out for drinks in my honor which you will probably feel obligated to pay for + make a fuss of”

Post # 15
Member
1276 posts
Bumble bee

Id have an afternoon tea etc. With the family members and then a night out with friends. Two of the same events with different people is totally fine.

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