(Closed) Is Two Hen Parties Ok?

posted 7 months ago in Parties
Post # 46
Member
6618 posts
Bee Keeper

idontevenknow :  Why are you being so aggresive? Your title is literally “is two parties ok”, and some people said in their opinion, no. 

Post # 47
Member
5571 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: July 2018

To be fair the OP only stopped being polite when the bee was telling her that having a get together with friends wasn’t acceptable unless she was paying for everyone and that just isn’t true in the UK.  She was told unless she paid it was so awful and tacky for her to plan her own hen which again just isn’t true. There is no need to make someone feel rubbish by saying she isn’t allowed to have party unless a friend isn’t planning it and paying for her when that just isn’t the norm.

 Your title is literally “is two parties ok”, and some people said in their opinion, no.“

No her question was literally is two HENS okay, not two general parties and the UK consensus is actually that two hens are normal. 

US opinions really don’t count when they don’t consider cultural differences.  It’s annoying when people act like the American way is the only socially acceptable way. Literally the OP saying “hen” should have been the give away that strict US etiquette didn’t apply and yet bees that have no idea what they are talking about always lay it on saying how wrong or rude it is when they have no idea. 

There is a whole world outside America 🙄 

jellybellynelly :  

Post # 48
Member
732 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: London, UK

zzar45 :  you shouldn’t be needing to spell this out, all the info is plainly here for anyone who actually wants to see it…sadly some people don’t 😂 Can’t wait to have my 3 day hen do (with the same people invited to each part) that I plan myself and then post about on here, just to see some people who aren’t very good at reading getting riled up 😂

Post # 49
Member
6618 posts
Bee Keeper

zzar45 :  I’m not american, so I do get that the same “rules” don’t apply everywhere, but the OP asked a question, and is getting pissy at the answers. Why bother asking if you’re going to take answers from all over the world and be a snotty brat about it? I just don’t get the point lol. Her title still is if 2 parties are OK, hens parties or not. 

Post # 50
Member
1981 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2016 - Sussex, UK

zzar45 :  It is frustrating but in the end most bees on here are in the US and a minority just wont accept that etiquette or traditions vary and are acceptable. It’s like the cash bar thing. I picture certain bees to be sitting surrounded by all the Miss Manners books.

OP isn’t wanting something over the top and is trying to take other’s wishes into account. I think it’s fine and I know none of my friends would find this out of the ordinary.

Post # 51
Member
5571 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: July 2018

Exactly, it’s not annoying that most bees are from the US or the US norms are different it’s just the ones who refuse to accept that etiquette isn’t universal between all countries.  EllyAnne :  

Post # 53
Member
228 posts
Helper bee

So according to some US bees, it’s not ok for bridesmaids to pay for their OWN drinks on a night out for a hen/bachelorette party, but it is ok for them to spend lots of money on a bridesmaid dress FOR the bride that the bride has picked out and which they almost definitely won’t ever wear again. Surely this alone shows that etiquette is cultural and not really about being ‘gracious’?

Post # 54
Hostess
1597 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

idontevenknow :  you asked for an opinion. people gave it. stop being rude and close the thread if you don’t like the opinions your getting.

It’s legit that simple.

IMO you sound like bridezilla to me. Who needs two bachelorette parties just because they aren’t getting what they want? Isn’t the presence of your nearest and dearest more important? If not then yes, you really are a brat.

Post # 55
Member
732 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: London, UK

ladyvk :  If (by that logic) you think that anyone who wants anything out of their wedding experience AS WELL AS the presence of their nearest and dearest is a bridezilla, then doesn’t that make every single person who has anything other than a simple ceremony with their friends and family a ‘brat’? It is generally accepted that the person getting married is allowed to want/choose some other elements to her entire marriage experience than just having people there in a room together.

Failing that, you must think most everyone in the UK (and any other country in the world whereby it is a cultural norm for hen dos to last more than one day and have some planning input from the bride) is a bridezilla. Lots of groomzillas too, as stag dos are the same over here. 

Ultimately, you are showing a lot of contempt to a cultural norm here in the UK. It’s completely fine for it to not be your cup of tea, but you can’t (by extension) imply an entire nation of women are all bridezillas and brats, just because you personally do not enjoy one of their cultural norms.

I’m sorry, this is hilarious, I’m not replying on this thread anymore, you can’t reason with brick walls. Thanks for the laughs though, everyone!!!!!

Post # 56
Member
7813 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Threads like this are effing ridiculous. It’s like when a UK bee mentions having a cash bar and the US bees start foaming at the mouth because “THROW THE PARTY YOU CAN AFFORD!!!”, even though cash bars are clearly the complete and utter norm in the UK, as well as many other places in the world. 

I dunno why it’s so hard for people to grasp the fact that the way things are done not only in their country but their specific social circle are not the be all end all…that other people have different ways of doing things and that’s okay. 

jellybellynelly :  “Her title still is if 2 parties are OK, hens parties or not.”

Srsly? The first sentence of the post references hens parties….but way to double down.

OP, I think your plan makes sense and sounds like a lot of fun. Enjoy!!

Post # 57
Member
7813 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

kia2019 :  Excellent example. People need to get their heads out of their asses here. i’m American and in my circle it’s very typical for brides to pick out $200+ bridesmaid dresses and make their bridesmaids pay for them. Plus the cost of alterations, which often runs $50-$100. 

But yeah inviting your friends to a fun night out and expecting them to buy a drink or two as is typical in the UK = height of brattiness, total bridezilla.

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