Is under $500 too cheap for an engagement ring?

posted 2 years ago in Boston
Post # 31
Member
977 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2016

My Darling Husband and I were in grad/med school when we got engaged and my ring was less than $300, with 10k gold. I don’t believe that really any amount of money NEEDS to be spent to be engaged. But it also sounds like you guys need to have an open in depth conversation about finances in general before deciding on the ring budget. It sounds like he doesn’t make a lot of money so I would want to know how he is affording to shop a lot with “expensive taste.” Credit card debt? Get to the bottom of that first.

Post # 32
Member
514 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

Darling Husband and I were purchasing a home at about the same time we decided to get engaged, so a large purchase was just NOT going to happen. Luckily I found a beautiful ring that was exactly my taste. Dainty and unique. He spent about $350 on it, and we purchased matching wedding bands a few months into our engagement to use after the wedding. 

You need to sit down and have a converstation with him about money now. If you are not on the same page about your finances, it is only going to become a bigger issue once you are married and “What’s yours is mine” comes into the equation. 

Post # 33
Member
104 posts
Blushing bee

 Check out zhedora on etsy. You can get 14k gold rings for <200 (with cz)

Post # 34
Member
12320 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

$1K biweekly suggests that almost any amount of money spent on non essentials may be a stretch. If he spends a lot on himself the real question is not whether or not his attitude toward a ring is fair. The bigger issue is whether or not he is financially responsible. 

Post # 35
Member
1637 posts
Bumble bee

What is reasonable is relative to your financial position. 

Also most people have sticker shock. When I first showed my fiance what I was interested in he was like “hmmm seems pricey”. Then when he researched it he ended up going well above what I showed him. 

Post # 36
Member
2196 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

I think $500 on an e-ring is reasonable. Of course, it depends on the person. However, if he is able to spend money on all kinds of other stuff than he should be able to afford a ring. My e-ring wasn’t expensive considering how much my Darling Husband makes. However, he also doesn’t like to spend money (he’s a saver) so I know by his standards it was a lot to spend on jewelry. Even thought it wasn’t an expensive ring I was touched by how much he spent relative to how much he spends normally. 

Considering how little your boyfriend makes, does he have a spending problem? It sounds like maybe he is spending more than he has. That could be another problem entirely. 

Post # 37
Member
239 posts
Helper bee

Yikes, bees. I take home $1500 biweekly and I’m considered solidly middle class for my area.

OP, your budget isn’t unreasonable. The issue is that he has “expensive taste” but told you a $500 ring was out of his price range. I wouldn’t marry a man like that. It doesn’t sound like he prioritizes you IMO. It’s not about the cost of the ring, it’s about where his priorities lie. $500 is not a lot for a ring.

Post # 38
Member
239 posts
Helper bee

Also…if you’re looking at marriage, you absolutely need to have in depth detailed discussions about each other’s finances. You need to know what he makes, takes home, how much he saves/has saved, and vice versa.

Post # 39
Member
87 posts
Worker bee

I think so. It’s supposed to be something that lasts for the rest of your life. Sometimes quality is worth the cost…

Post # 41
Member
1289 posts
Bumble bee

My sister in law was set on this particular ring that cost $30 and then my best friend was set on a ring that was $1500. Expensive is subjective as is personal taste. there seems to be a lot more going on here but I just want to say that I don’t see a reason why a man has to pay the ring. He can spend the amount he is comfortable with and you pitch in with the rest.

Post # 42
Member
2667 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

Agirl22 :  a $200 ring will not rust or turn your finger green. There are lots of beautiful rings out there for under $200, even more so if you shop pre-owned. I’m pretty sure my engagement ring was right around $200, pre-owned, 14k gold and diamonds. My wedding band was $100, new from Ebay, 10k gold, and I also have a garnet and sterling silver guard ring, it was $30. And that’s all in Canadian dollars. When you think about what an engagement ring actually physically is, a tiny rock and a bit of metal to go around your finger, even $200 is a lot of money. My self imposed price cap when looking for an engagement ring (I got to choose) was $300. 

On Etsy alone there are over 5000 listings for vintage when you search “gold diamond ring” under $200 and 545 handmade when you search “gold diamond ring natural”. 

Post # 43
Member
132 posts
Blushing bee

Can we talk about the fact that she doesn’t know how much money he makes in a week? To me that’s a sign that you’re rushing things, and you already said that you are young. Why not wait a while, allow him to save over a longer period of time, and have some of the important conversations that it seems you need to have? 

Post # 44
Member
133 posts
Blushing bee

500 is more than reasonable and 265? If I were him I would have 0 issues with the price, especially if he spends money on himself regularly. I’m your age and my boyfriend was expecting to pay 4k and was SO HAPPY to only have to pay 1k because I chose moissanite instead. Perhaps he needs to go out and browse for himself to realize how ridiculously reasonable you’re being and how selfish and cheap he is being.

 

Btw I live in LITERALLY the cheapest place to live in the U.S. so my bf willing to spend 4k is the equivalent of where others spend 10k if that makes sense

Post # 45
Member
1308 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: City, State

I have a $100 swarovski ring and i absolutely love it.

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