Post # 62
Traditionally, the bride’s family paid for the wedding. what is the difference if the bride’s family pays for the ring if that is what the couple wants? I think it is disturbing that some people believe the man should “contribute a significant amount to the ring” in order to show his worthiness 🙁
Post # 63
@MirnaMinkoff: my ering is my grandmother’s diamond.
Post # 64
@MirnaMinkoff: My Fiance knew I wanted this heirloom ring in my family, and also we are both students so there is not way he could afford it. I think it is just as big a deal that my family entrusted it to him as if his family had entrusted a ring to me. I love being able to tell people that it was my great-grandmother’s ring and she got married in 1910!!! And I have two sisters, so my mom would have had to wait for one of us to have son to be able to give the ring the other way around. So it makes a lot of sense for our situation.
It meant so much to me that he was brave enough to ask my family for the ring. He definitely felt weird about it but he knew that was the ring I wanted if I ever got engaged.
However, I would never want my family to buy a ring for him to give to me. That is so completely weird to me. And I think it is weird that your friend’s family would trust a deadbeat guy with an heirloom ring. I know that my parents never would have trusted my previous boy friend enough to give it to him.
So overall, I think it really depends on the context. This doesn’t sound right to me, although of course I am getting your perspective on it and not your friend’s. (not that I don’t trust you, just people have their own perspectives on things!)
Post # 65
+1! I agree. I think it is crazy that so much emphasis goes into how beautiful the diamond is or how much it cost. I feel like if you are at a point where you want to get married then a diamond ring should not be the most important thing. I think a lot of it is just hyped up by our culture and the wedding industry leading brides to believe that the diamond ring matters so much.
Post # 65
I 1000% agree it shouldn’t come from the bride’s family. I know a bride who’s mother told the boyfriend early on the he could use the grandmother’s diamond if he ever wanted to propose. She mentioned it to him almost everytime she saw him. She might as well have handed it to him on a silver platter. Of COURSE he used it because he was too cheap to buy one on his own (And quite honestly, to shut the future Mother-In-Law up). But me personally, I would forever wonder if he proposed because he truly wanted to or because he was pressured into it and had a free ring so, “why not”?
Post # 66
My stone was my grandmother’s.
Post # 67
I agree it shouldn’t come frm th brides family. The ring should be something between the couple. Heirloom jewelry makes lovely right hand jewely.
Post # 68
I think you are being pretty judgmental of your friend and people who choose to use heirloom stones, or people whose SOs do not pay the entire cost of a ring. I think who pays for what or picks what in terms of the ring should be up to the individual couple’s preferences and resources. There is no one right way to do it.
I would separate this out into two issues:
1) Your ability to be excited for your friend’s engagement, despite your own (outdated, In My Humble Opinion, but again, this is subjective) views about who should pay for the ring
2) Your potentially legitimate concern over your friend maybe marrying a bad partner
I would leave the ring out of the ring out of this and focus on point 2 if you are truly concerned. If so, talk to your friend about that.
Post # 69
Nevermind, I just saw that this thread is years old! We should auto-close old threads.
Post # 70
It’s no one business what a couple decides to do.
Post # 71
What would be the difference between it coming from the groom’s family though? It’s a bit weird that you would consider it a free ring from the brides family but not if it was from his grandmother.
Post # 72
- Wedding: October 2016 - Painswick Church and the Falcon Hotel
I don’t think there is anything wrong with doing that if that’s what the couple want to do but I’m glad my husband picked and brought my engagement ring all by himself