(Closed) Is WB even a community anymore? Little vent

posted 4 years ago in Weddingbee
Post # 2
Member
553 posts
Busy bee

lurkingladybee:   I very nearly posted my own thread about the same thing, but ironically, didn’t want to open myself up to attack. I’ve noticed a lot of threads end up with unwarranted name calling and personal attacks; sometimes with nothing to do with the original post.

They jump to assumptions and make unjust statements seemingly out of thin air. 

I’ve noticed a couple of names are repeat offenders who call their advice “honest ” and “direct” instead of mean and nasty. There is always a way to say anything honestly and with tact and kindness. 

Post # 4
Member
162 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

I must not read enough threads because from what I have seen 90% of the comments seem very genuine and kind.  Sometimes I see people who are more direct than I would be, but we all have differnet personalities, so I am okay with that.  Very rarely do I see posts that seem hateful or rude. Maybe I am just not seeing what you are seeing. 

Post # 6
Member
4060 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Seriously,  why do people post this? Do you really think it’s going to revolutionize the site?

We aren’t a community of your best girlfriends.  We’re a bunch of faceless Internet strangers who don’t know you from joe blow on the street. If you want to be told you’re perfect, and every decision you make is right, you should ask advice from the people IRL who love you and genuinely care about your feelings.  Posting things online opens you up to criticism. Plain and simple. Complaining about that fact won’t change it. Some people are just blunt, and are genuinely still trying to help. Some people believe in tough love. Some people are assholes. But it’s the Internet.  So either accept that you are going to get a variety of answers, some of which you won’t like, or don’t post. There is no middle ground. 

If someone is being offensive,  or bullying, then report their post to the mods. If you only want to talk about weddings,  then only read those posts, or find a  site where talking about other things is banned.

But you aren’t our mommy or our police officer,  so I can guarantee that this is going to a)get shut down and b) fall on deaf ears, just like every other ‘play nice kids” post.

Post # 7
Member
162 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

saratiara2:  I am not trying to threadjack, but where do people get profile pics like yours?  It is very cute!

 

Post # 8
Member
510 posts
Busy bee

Hahaha.

Life is going to be tough, OP.

Post # 9
Member
200 posts
Helper bee

I agree completely and wanted to add: just wait for the rude replies claiming you’re a hypocrite.. Because I notice them on these kinds of posts. But to me the difference is that you’re not singling out any one person to make them feel bad but the people who feel the NEED to go out of their way to add their snarky comment back at you are singling you out, as if that will Change your perspective or make themselves feel better.. Sometimes I think people get a high off of seeing the thumbs up, and blunt comments tend to get them 

Post # 10
Member
556 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: City, State

I got blown off the face of weddingbee over one of my threads, mostly because nobody would read my updates and were judging solely off of my first couple posts. That being said, I don’t really care what a stranger has to say about my personal character. I know I am a decent, good, human being. Even if I cheated on my husband (LOL was distracted and started writing “even if I cheated on myself”) I know I am still a great person in every other aspect of my life. A few mistakes here and there don’t define the person. I don’t let things bother me simply because of that. With everything terrible going on in the world right now, are a bunch of meanies on a forum really your biggest concern???

Post # 11
Member
462 posts
Helper bee

lurkingladybee:  I agree it’s a shame that a lot of bees are as you described, but just like I’m not interested in everyone’s opinions IRL I hardly expect to be interested in everyone’s opinions on an Internet forum. I’m very much of the belief that not all opinions are created equally. I only look for advice or perspectives from people who I respect, who prove thoughtful, objective, kind, who challenge me, who have rounded views etc. The bees are useful for getting general opinions or getting a feel for how a majority might react e.g. “would you be offended if I didn’t invite you to…” but otherwise you’re going to have to do a lot of “sorting the wheat from the chaff.” If youre easily offended or not able to easily disregard the sort of opinions and feedback that don’t matter to you then I’d definitely steer clear of posting in any Internet forum!

Post # 12
Member
4103 posts
Honey bee

Life is too short to care about the opinions of strangers on the Internet. 

Post # 13
Member
4245 posts
Honey bee

Care to post some examples?

Post # 15
Member
2587 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

I hadn’t noticed, clearly I’m reading the right threads! I only see the odd snarky comment but I skim over those as they’re flooded by all of the other well meaning posts.

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