(Closed) Is wedding planning really THAT bad?

posted 9 years ago in Logistics
  • poll: How would you describe your wedding/outside of wedding experiences?

    Wedding planning is fun/running smoothly and I generally live a drama-free lifestyle

    My life is like a reality tv show- drama loves me, wedding and all!

    I am an easy-going person but wedding planning just SUCKS!

    Other (explain below)

  • Post # 17
    Member
    119 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    I am loving wedding planning so far! Anytime I get too overwhelmed, or stressed out… I remind myself that it is just ONE day… (one very special day, yes) but it is ONE day. It is a celebration! Just reminding myself that this is a once in a lifetime opportunity, that I want to ENJOY rather than stress over, puts me back in my place!! ๐Ÿ™‚

     

    Post # 18
    Member
    1297 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    If you’re easygoing, you have a head start. The rest depends on all the other people surrounding you… it’s a very involved and emotional event, and like PPs said, it can bring out the worst in people.

    Post # 19
    Member
    1765 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    I’ve actually quite enjoyed wedding planning! What I havne’t enjoyed is dealing with family members. People who are not normally involved in my life suddenly have a list of requests for the wedding. Such as “Can you invite my husband’s three sisters (who I never knew existed before now), their husbands, & kids?”. I’m having a very small wedding, and not inviting people I’ve never even heard of before. I’m still waiting for one uncle to have a fit (since he always does about every wedding in the family). My mom keeps getting really worried about if everything will be perfect on the day of the wedding, and my FI’s dad is just being super rude & annoying, which in turn is stressing out my mom even more. But other than dealing with other people, everything has been pretty stress free ๐Ÿ™‚

    Post # 20
    Member
    1331 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: January 2012

    I was the bride that started off my wedding planning by telling myself “No matter what, everything will be good enough. I just want to be married, the wedding will be great, whatever it turns out to be.”

    And I still ended up on anxiety meds. -_- Honestly, I didn’t even care about the details. People had to keep me from half-assing, because none of it was that important to me. But I *still* fought with my mom constantly, and whether you care about the details or not, plans still have to get made.

    Post # 21
    Member
    2701 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 2011

    I loved planning my wedding. I am a very laid back person but I knew what I wanted when it came to my wedding. For the most part, there was no drama. My mom let me do my thing as did my Mother-In-Law.

    I actually miss planning it some days. Yes, I know. I’m crazy. But I enjoyed all of the details, shopping around for the best price, looking at inspiration photos. My sister helped a ton with some things but for the most part I did it all. I loved it!

     

    Post # 22
    Member
    444 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    I am usually so chill in my life, I hate drama so I don’t tolerate it starting around me.  I’ve planned other weddings before and it was fun and lighthearted and not stressful at all, but ever since planning my own I’m freaking out a LOT more.  Probably because I’m more emotionally involved and so I am finding myself worrying about the details (also doesn’t help that I have other stuff like moving and finding a car and my fiance’s visa process to also worry about lol).  My friends have been great though, they as well as my fiance have been my shelter in the storm of wedding details ๐Ÿ™‚  I started a garden on my porch to meditate with and try to find my centre of calm heee  hopefully soon my fiance will be back here to soothe me in person as well ;D

    Post # 23
    Member
    7772 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    Honestly, I’m normally a little Type A. I get to be kind of a control freak when I’m planning things but… wedding planning was so laid back for me. There were the inevitable scuffles with my mom, but nothing major. No major drama, no freak outs, no Bridezilla… it was really pleasant and fun.

    And honestly, there were things that I could have freaked out about. I have a Bridesmaid or Best Man flake out 8 weeks before my wedding. DH is military and almost couldn’t get the leave to come home, we didn’t know if there was going to be a wedding until the week before. I got a call from me venue 6 weeks before saying that they had torn out the ceiling of one of the rooms I had booked and I could no longer use it. My brother and his girlfriend, who was already invited to everything, went through an insanely ugly, messy breakup. I had major dress regret and ended up buying a 2nd dress.

    I think that it’s all a matter of mindset. Things can’t get to you if you don’t let them. Just learn to take a breath and calm down. I honestly amazed myself (and everyone else) with how easy-going I was through the whole process. My mom even told me afterwards that she couldn’t believe how chill I was, considering I tend to be a bit of a drama queen. Everything DOES work out in the end. I think that it’s just a matter of deciding to enjoy your time planning rather than letting yourself get worked up.

    Post # 24
    Member
    466 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    I loved the initial ‘honeymoon period’ of planning. The research, the excitement of putting down deposits etc… How I am just under 4 months out, it’s starting to get a bit much. Trying to organize a wedding whilst working fulltime, keeping a house and having some down time is almost impossible. Vendors don’t like answering their emails, family make stupid demands and you start counting down your wedding by pay date ( we have 8 pays… Yikes). Unless you have a planner to do all the dirty work for you, it’s easy to start feeling overwhelmed

    Post # 25
    Member
    1759 posts
    Buzzing bee

    I’ve been pretty easy going, but I’m a naturally anxious person, so I’ve gotten anxious about things. There has been some drama, namely because my Fiance wanted a non-religious service and I wanted to have my mom do it and she’s a minister. . . There was also some drama with my mom making the wrong veil. But I wouldn’t say drama took over my life or anything. Mostly it’s been fun and easy.

    Post # 26
    Member
    1561 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2011

    I try really hard to live a drama free life.  But wedding planning has brought out the drama regarding linens andn invites.  Previously, I had a drama spell with a job.  But I have effective coping strategies for telling the drama to go away.

    Post # 27
    Member
    383 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    I am a REALLY laid-back person who goes to extreme lengths to avoid drama. I chose the 3rd choice. Because we decided to buy a house AND plan a wedding for 500 people at the same time. So no matter WHICH way you try to flip that…the stress is UNAVOIDABLE. With my wedding being a little over a 100 days away the stress has DEFINITELY gone down…we are FINALLY about to close on a house and all the wedding planning boxes are pretty much checked off! So I’m past the stress and at the uber excited phase!

    Post # 28
    Member
    416 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    I wish I could skip it all and just elope with my Fiance. Honestly, (to me) wedding planning is so over-rated and over – priced. The first time you mention wedding to vendors the prices double on just about everything. I swear I will never do this again, renewing vows, anniversary NOTHING WEDDING related

    Post # 29
    Member
    1541 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    Wedding planning WOULD be easy if i was rich…. so i’m going to take a wild guess and say those of you that are having the least problems are the ones with a higher budget.

    And I thought I had inexpensive dreams… and I do… just not enough.

    Giving up on your dreams because you don’t have only an extra few grand… is nothing more then depressing.

    ๐Ÿ™ Wedding planning is no fun, it sucks, i’m starting to get depressed, and i just want to run away and elope.

    Okay thanks I had to vent there.

    Post # 30
    Member
    842 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    I am very into planning.  Fiance and I both are.  We knew for a while before getting engaged that we would one day get married and we did lots of pre-planning (getting ideas on locations, venue prices, etc.)

    But sometimes the need to plan bites me in the a$$.  For example, I am pretty stressed right now because my mom insisted on inviting more people than will fit in our venue.  Our invitations have been out for a month and we’ve only got 7 no’s.  I can not wait until they are all in so that I can finally make the table arrangments finally relax about everyone fitting.

    Also, I consider myself relatively laid back.  For bridesmaids I only dictated the color of the dress, and that it shouldn’t be floor length.  And yet I’m trying not to get too worked up that my Future Sister-In-Law, who designs clothes on the side and wants to make her dress, has made NO progress on it.  No pattern, no cutting the fabric, nothing.  2 months from today she needs a dress or somehow we have to tell her she can’t walk down the aisle.

    And then there’s my mom who planned my wedding shower.  Now, I don’t think I’m overly picky, but when she told me my March shower (in NY) was going to be beach themed and that they were going to tell everyone to dress “beachy” I was not thrilled. She and I had picked out a really classy venue together and I wasn’t exactly thrilled with the thought of people thinking they need to wear bathings suits and spending the day hearing Jimmy Buffet and steel drum music.  And she got really mad when I nicely told her I didn’t think we should dictate the outfits on the invitation.

    But anyways, I think there’s always stuff that comes up even if you’re laid back.  People ask to bring extra guests, parties planned aren’t what you expected, Fiance has completely different ideas from you, etc.  Whatever it is, it’s bound to happen and cause some sort of drama.

    Post # 31
    Member
    10282 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2011

    I had very few issues with wedding planning. For the most part it was an entirely enjoyable experience. Of course there’s always going to be some stress when you’re planning the most important day of your life but all in all, I have little to complain about. Thankfully I surround myself with relatively positive people who wanted to make sure that my day was everything that I wanted it to be. My bridesmaids were fantastic and we didn’t have a single issue there (well, other that ordering some dresses a few weeks late which didn’t end up being an issue at all). My mom was a bit much at times but it’s just because she had her own visions while I had mine (I’m also an only child so you can imagine what that will do to a mother! Lol). In the end we compromised and I think we were both very happy. I’ve always had a good relationship with my Mother-In-Law so she didn’t interfere at all. The aspects that she and my Father-In-Law paid for were entirely controlled by me. She just wrote the checks.

    I always feel bad for those brides who have such crappy experiences for whatever reason. Your engagement is supposed to be one of the most enjoyable times of your life, not filled with unnecessary stress and anger. It’s too bad that outside sources have such a negative impact on so many people. I guess I really am very lucky. 

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