(Closed) Is your FI actively participating in the wedding planning?

posted 7 years ago in Grooms/men
  • poll: Is your FI actively participating in the wedding planning?
    Yes, he's very involved : (30 votes)
    23 %
    Yes, somewhat : (51 votes)
    40 %
    No, I do all of the planning and I prefer it that way : (22 votes)
    17 %
    No, we have a wedding planner : (1 votes)
    1 %
    No, but I'd like him to be involved : (22 votes)
    17 %
    Other (explain) : (2 votes)
    2 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    921 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2011

    I have to keep pushing my Fiance to do things.. the majority of things I asked him to do either I ended up doing or my Mom ended up doing because I got tired of waiting. He usually just gives his opinion on things.. I come up with a list of things.. and he helps choose.

    Post # 4
    Member
    2313 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    His mouth is very actively involved. The rest, not so much.

    Post # 5
    Member
    2759 posts
    Sugar bee

    @2bMrsG: So far, he’s been pretty much answering all of my tangents and ideas with “cool” or “okay”. My Fiance isn’t really into any of this stuff and he’s never been to a wedding, so he’s pretty much letting me take the driver’s seat. But he promised once it gets closer to be involved and help me with ideas and plans… we’re going to do a lot of DIY stuff, so he’ll be happy and willing to help with all of that. He’s good with direction, not so much at planning (which is fine because I like taking charge haha). His mom and aunt are really into decorations and neither has a daughter, so I’m betting they’ll more than make up for his lack of enthusiasm, lol!

    Post # 6
    Member
    1664 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    I’m pretty Type A, so I usually get the ball rolling on booking vendors, and am more aware of deadlines.  He did the invitations and some other things completely on his own and will do anything I ask.  He also cares about the decor and flowers, etc., and I’m glad he does.

    Post # 7
    Member
    2714 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    My Fiance is not really interested in planning (it’s just not his thing) so I’ve been doing most of the research and then when I narrow things down I will ask his opinion.

    Example: When looking at photogs I narrowed it down to 3 vendors and asked him to look them over with me. Did he like one more than the others, etc.

    Also when I’m beginning a project I just ask him up front. “Babe, do you have an opinion on flowers?” If he says no I just do it myself and show him the final product. If he says yes I will set aside time when we can both work on it/research together. (It’s more fun that way!)

    The things he has been saying yes to have actually been quite surprising…. Like the cake topper?!

    Post # 9
    Member
    10851 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2010

    The majority of grooms don’t really participate. My Darling Husband didn’t have much to do with it. I’d show him something and he say if he loved, it hated it or would just put up with it because I loved it. That was his participation. He was supposed to plan the honeymoon but I ended up finding our honeymoon spot, so I dealt with it instead. You have to kind of let go of the dream that he’s going to help…. Give him a couple of small jobs that are okay if they don’t get done until last minute 😉

    Post # 10
    Member
    193 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: June 2011

    We’ve been doing all the planning together.  If I had to do everything myself, we’d be going to Vegas or something. 

    Post # 11
    Member
    9029 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    Now that we are less than 2months out he is very much involved but when 1st got engaged he wasnt

    Post # 12
    Member
    2320 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    @ohheavenlyday: lol. i was trying to figure out a way to say this, but you did it for me!

    Post # 14
    Member
    1003 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    Fiance really cares about what is going on but we are still far out that he keeps putting off helping with things. It is just his nature. Every inspiration or idea goes by him first. Except the dress of course because he actually doesn’t want to know what it looks like. He is cute and excited and as it gets closer to next June I know he will be more than willing to help out.

    Post # 15
    Member
    3222 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    He doesn’t really care. He just says ‘It’s your day!!’. He cares about the tuxes, his Groomsmen and the actual wedding. But the details? not so much.

    He has thrown some random things in there that he’s passionate about: he wanted a videographer as of like a month ago, and I told him we can’t afford it, he wants photos to be short and sweet, and he wants there to be lots of food. 

    Otherwise, he just wants to get married…

    Post # 16
    Member
    2600 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2011

    @ohheavenlyday:  Ha!!!

    We’re a strange case… I’ve been a wedding planner/coordinator for years so I had a lot of ideas in my idea bank to pull from. 

    Fiance is very admittedly not good at quick decision making or understanding how one decision affects others. 

    For just about everything, I’ve shown him a narrowed selection and asked for his input.  For some things, he’s surprised me with his own selections (like the ties… I would never in a million years expected him to pick out paisley ties… which I LOVE!)

    He says all the time if we left the wedding to him, there’s NO way we’d be able to pull it off in 4 months as we will do, and there wouldn’t nearly be as many details taken care of or made.

    It works for us 🙂

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