Post # 1
They say that women often choose husbands who remind them of their fathers, whether they’re concious of it or not. I used to think think my finace was not at all similar to my father, but then he’ll do something that does remind me of my dad and I get a little freaked out. For example, every so often he’ll use a gesture or a turn of phrase that my dad uses too.
I suppose it may be because the two get along really well, and the more they see of each other the more of my dad’s habits rub off on my Fiance. I love that they’re becoming friends but at the same time I don’t want to feel like I’m marrying a younger version of dad by the time my wedding comes!
Anyone else feel this way? On a side note, is it possible for fiance/husband and dad to get along too well?
EDIT: Perhaps I should clarify – My dad was a wonderful father but not the greatest of husbands. He and my mother divorced when I was 7 but he remained a big part of my life. I think that might be what worries me when I think about how simlilar the two are becoming.
Post # 3
My “dad” is an abusive drug addict who hasn’t had a job since 1993. No he’s nothing like my father.
On another note he does get along with my step dad well (who is amazing btw) and I don’t think they can get along too much. My family likes to mesh together with the inlaws so we all become very close so to me it isn’t weird at all.
Post # 4
I guess there are some things.
The more obvious are:
Exactly the same height 5’11” 3/4. Neither of them ever quite made it to 6′.
They also both have dark hair and dark eyes.
They are both very smart and very successful as well as extremely level headed and rational.
The are both sailors (although my dad is a lapsed sailor) and are fairly preppy.
Guess they do have a lot in common!
Post # 5
My DH and Dad on the outside are nothing alike. DH is a business man, a metro-sexual, and a giant, while my Dad is an ex-military, kills things to eat them, plaid wearing kind of guy, who is average in size. However, in personality they are very similar. They come across as rough and touble guys, but both are quite sensitive, enjoy building and fixing things, and are liked by everyone. And they both love me more than anything in the world.
Post # 6
My dad and my Fiance are very similar. They’re both very quiet and laid back. They get along well. That makes me happy because when we come over to visit I can go shopping with my mom and know that my Fiance is perfectly content to talk sports with my dad.
Post # 7
My father and my husband are so much alike it is scary. I don’t think if my father could have ordered my future husband from a catalog, he’d have found someone more like him (or to his liking). I’m OK with that.
Post # 8
My sister and I joke that we married each other. Her husband is touchy feely, talkative like I am and my sister and DH are more alike. I don’t think I married my dad at all.
Post # 9
@MissTillie:I never really thought my Fiance and my dad were anything alike until FI went on vacation with my family a couple Christmases ago. And then it dawned on me that Fiance and my dad were pretty much the same person. They’re in the same professional field, play the same instrument, love the same music, and tell the same long winded stories. I love it, because these are the things that I love about my dad in my Fiance. I hate it, because these ar the things that I love about my dad in my Fiance. But I guess it makes sense because my dad really was the first man I ever loved in my life.
What’s freaky is that yesterday Fiance commented that there are things that I do that remind him of his mother. Weird! Maybe we really do marry our parents…
Post # 10
Everyone always tells my father that he couldn’t have a son more like him than my DH. It’s scary but great at the same time. I should add that I do have a brother but he is nothing like my father.
But my father has always had anger issues (thankfully he has dealt with them professionally) and that is the one thing about my father that I would change. But that is the only way that DH is not like him. Even their upbringing were identical. And my dad was an amazing involved father who worked so hard to give us a great life so it’s not sad bad marrying a guy like that 🙂
Post # 11
Mmm I feel the same way sometimes, my dad and Fiance get along really well. Is there any reason you wouldn’t want your Fiance to be like your dad? If he was a good father to you and a good husband…then I’d think thats a positive thing, if not–then maybe that might be difficult.
My dad and Fiance have similar interests but there are a few differences in values too. My Fiance is more stubborn than my dad, and my dad is more religious than Fiance. However, I do notice a lot of similarities with Fiance and my grand father. Which is a little weird. But my grand father wasn’t the best husband for the first five years of my grandparents marriage (insert worries here)
I don’t think its possible for your father and your Fiance to get along too well though, I think thats great! Its better to get along rather than not at all.
Post # 12
i dont think my husband is anything like my dad but they get along strangely well – seriously they could sit and talk for hours and trade books all the time…its so great, but so strange too.
@Talishazwi: that is so funny! different but similar…my sister is just like my dad, and im just like my mom and i think thats why we get along so well – we compliment each other – just like they do.
Post # 13
100% like my dad, its almost scary
Post # 14
If he was, I would not be marrying him. Yes I have a lot of Daddy issues. But Fiance has all the qualities I wished my father had while growing up.
Post # 15
DH and my dad come from two different planets, I swear. The only thing I can think of that they have in common is that neither of of them likes public speaking, but where my dad is a nervous wreck about it, for DH it’s just a preference not to be in the spotlight.
Oh and they both jump into pajama pants pretty much the second they get home, but that holds true for most of the guys I know, lol.
Post # 16
Not my dad, but he is exactly like my grandfather. The first week that my mom came down and spent with us after we got engaged, my mother was in complete shock, she said it was see her father again as a young man.