(Closed) Is your FI or Hubby anything like the man you thought you’d end up with?

posted 8 years ago in Grooms/men
Post # 3
Member
257 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

Hm… as far as where he’s from, his interests, his career, etc…. NO.

I thought I would end up with someone really manly and outdoorsy, southern, and all that.

My husband likes really weird music, was a marketing major, has a very wealthy family from New York, is tall and skinny, and way too into video games.

However, I did picture marrying someone who was hilarious, my best friend, and someone I could be a total dork with. He is definitely all those things ๐Ÿ™‚ I could not be happier… he is absolutely perfect for me!

Post # 5
Member
2641 posts
Sugar bee

Yes, my husband is almost exactly the kind of guy I thought I’d marry.  But I have certainly dated, or have been interested in guys whom I’ve thought of as not being my type.

Post # 6
Member
172 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

My guy is exactly what I hoped for, but what I curiously never dated before!  About 12 years ago I announced (to myself) that I wanted to meet an outdoorsy, athletic guy who liked to do things.  What I dated for the next decade was exactly not that.  What makes it funnier for me is that I have known my Boyfriend or Best Friend for 20 years and he attended my first wedding!  Now we enjoy doing things – outside – together.  I love him and the way I look at the world and people and life when I’m with him.  *sigh*

I’m interested in seeing what other people have to say… ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 7
Member
520 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

Mine is exactly what I hoped for, but someone that I already feared I’d never end up with, since I was in my very-late 20’s and thought I’d have to settle.  Then at 29 I met him.  And he is everything I’ve ever wanted.

(Said that, just because someone doesn’t end up with what they hoped for, doesn’t mean is wrong!  A lot of people DON’T know what they want until they meet the person!)

Post # 8
Member
7053 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

After I was divorced I didn’t date for a while.  I got super duper picky after being single.

I could not have ever guessed that the dream guy I had made up in my head actually did exist!  I remember telling my girlfriends about the guy I would love to meet one day.  Here’s the checklist I had in my head:

  • tall
  • blue eyes
  • dark hair
  • wicked smart brain
  • muscular but not too muscular
  • outdoorsy
  • southern
  • established in career/life

I’m glad I remained picky.  When I met T I remember feeling like the wind had gotten knocked out of me.  I didn’t even know him yet, but thought to myself “omg.  it’s the dream guy from the list!  He lives!”

And our first date was our last first date ever.  Apparently in some wierd way I matched up to his also.

I love love love T!  My sister has been researching quite a bit of geneaology, and we just found out that there is a 99% chance our ancestors met.  Like really met or knew each other!  What can I say?  We were meant to bee! 

Post # 9
Member
2144 posts
Buzzing bee

no! And that’s a good thing ๐Ÿ™‚ I hadn’t realized until I met Darling Husband that I had a really skewed vision of what a man and a husband was supposed to be like and how he treats his wife. I think this stemmed from my parents’ divorce. I had honetly just thought it was normal for a man to always be interested in other women, go to strip clubs, etc Really sad now that I look back on it. I’m glad Darling Husband showed me the error of my ways and did so before I ended up in a relationship that I would have really regretted! I never imagined I could be loved and treated so amazing ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 11
Member
2889 posts
Sugar bee

I would say yes and no. I always wanted to be with a man who would challenge me intellectually (kind of weird I know but I didn’t want to get bored), has a sense of humor and is athletic. Fiance meets the first two but is so far from athletic it’s funny. However, he’s pretty perfect for me. We joke that had we met in high school or even a few years sooner we would have never dated because he was a complete sciencey nerd in high school and while I took all the hard science classes it was because I had to not because I enjoyed them!

Post # 12
Member
191 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Definite no for the career part, military as well. I definitely never thought that I’d meet the man of my dreams and he’d tell me “btw, I’m being deployed in a month” lol. But it made us both stronger and he is 100% my best friend. Aside from the career he has every important value that I look for and he’s so supportive. Definitely everything I was looking for that way!

Post # 13
Member
4547 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

My Fiance is the kind of man I always dreamed I’d marry but never dated.  He’s kind, loving, caring, financially responsible, mature, and the most patient man who accepts others as they are.

Post # 14
Member
102 posts
Blushing bee

Omg, Jamiemichelle, me too!

My guy is in the Military, which I always said I never ever wanted. And he’s like my dad in so many ways. They both do this odd thing where you’ll be talking to them one minute and they’ll walk away. You think they”re coming back to finish the conversation but then the next thing you know they’re out cutting the lawn or painting the dining room. My boy even left walked away once and left behind half of a sandwich that he was just raving about. 

I never really had any firm ideas, more like I wanted someone that would be my best friend. I figured at some point I’d just find him. And I did,he treats me like I’m the best thing ever and he’s doing everything to make sure I’ll never leave. Always cooking for me and bringing me treats for lunch at work, services my car.

He shares all the same values as me and I can tell him anything. And thoes are the only two things I knew I wanted in a man.

 

Post # 15
Member
1317 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Definitely not. I never thought a man like him existed. He loves me just as I am, honest, witty, and the most non-judgemental person I know. We get each other and I never have to explain my thought pattern – something I was never used to before. He’s also a little nerdy (like me), financially responsible, and can cook! He’s a loyal, gentle Swedish giant.

Before him, I had this thing for Asian guys, as I’m Asian myself, I guess I always felt like I connected better with someone with a similar cultural background. In my mind back then, he would be model hot, tall, and successful. I had let society affect my idea of an “ideal man”. In fact, I made the mistake in marrying someone that society would deem “ideal”. Then I realized just how important honesty and loyalty was to me. After my divorce, I literally gave-up on men!

But my Fi gave me hope, without even trying! I remember the moment when I realized he is “my ideal”. We were walking somewhere remote and I was falling behind while swatting away bugs. I watched his back and his gentle way of walking and thought OMG he’s like my favorite character in a book (super nerdy moment, I know). A quiet, loyal, stubborn, gentle giant that in casual notice, might appear a little slow, but in reality he’s brilliant! I never even bothered looking for a guy like him cause I never knew he existed — we were friends first and I didn’t even realize he was like this character I was swooning for (in a book) personified.

I can’t believe how lucky I am to have found him. He is perfect for me, quirks and all! I am truly blessed. And he is such a handsome man with the cutest butt ever! HA! I just had to add that!

Laughing

Post # 16
Member
1104 posts
Bumble bee

After I broke up with my ex I made a list of 25 attributes I was looking for in a guy. I had ignored red flags with my ex and I didn’t want to do that again. I also had a better idea of the sort of person I was interested in. I have since found that list and Darling Husband meets every single criteria – and yet he is still completely different to what I pictured!

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