(Closed) is your FI your “best friend”?…

posted 9 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
2324 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

My husband is one of my best friends, but I have another one too. We actually met through our husbands {they went to hs together} and she is the best! I don’t think it’s a bad thing if your husband isn’t your best friend. Men can’t provide the type of support that women can for the most part. When you have children, it’s so helpful to have other mothers as your support system. Because no matter what, men can’t help with everything in that situation.   

Post # 4
Member
960 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

Mrs. Cheese wrote a really great post about this subject!

Lucky

I don’t know if I would consider my Fiance my best friend. I have so many “best friends” so it’s not like I’d be choosing him over some one else. But at the same time, I wouldn’t sleep with my best friend 😉

I think we need other people in our life, other than our FI’s, to count on. If you define “best friend” as some one you share every single thing with, you deepest secrets, your most intimate thoughts…that could get exhausting for one person to handle. While I do talk to my Fiance about everything, it’s nice to have “best friends” who aren’t romantically involved with me. They can give opinions that my Fiance might not be comfortable giving. They can be more direct and know that I won’t make them sleep on the couch if they say something I don’t like (not that I have ever done that to my Fiance, just giving an example.) And most importantly, I can gripe about my Fiance to them when he does something worth griping about. I know you shouldn’t air out dirty laundry, but sometimes you need to talk to your “best friends” about your Fiance, and if your Fiance is that best friend…uh you’re kinda stuck?

So no, my Fiance is not my best friend. He’s the man I’m spending the rest of my life with, the father of my future children, my Twister partner, and so much more.

Post # 5
Member
6572 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2010

i never really had any female best friends. my maid of honor is my sister, whom i’m very close with, but she’s family. so i guess i’d consider him my best friend, he’s the one i always go to. sure, i have other friends, but they’re not best.

Post # 6
Member
195 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2009

My Fiance is definitely my best friend, for now. I’ve moved away or grown apart from the women I used to call my best friends. I have very good friends though, I just don’t have anyone else right now who knows me as well as my Fiance.

Post # 7
Member
299 posts
Helper bee

Oh yes, Fiance is my best friend- we’re glued at the hip hah, even after 7 years. We share everything with each other, and we typically prefer each other’s company to that of even our closest friends (we are not lovey-dovey though!!!). My best friend is a guy, and we are good friends, but Fiance is still my closest friend. I have two female friends I’m quite close to, but I don’t interact with them the way I interact with guys, and I don’t share as much with them. I’m not a girly girl, heh. Fiance has his D&D group, which are his best friends, but he’s always switching between which one he likes the best- he doesn’t really share a lot with them though, even though he is the most open of the group.

Both Fiance and I are extremely loyal people- we respect our friends, we never cancel plans w/o giving advance notice and with a good reason, we never ditch people, etc. But, a lot of our friends aren’t the same way (except for my BF), so we get flusterpated with them all frequently hah

Post # 8
Member
3332 posts
Sugar bee

I think my husband is one of my best friends.  I would consider us best friends, especially because we were friends for 9 years before we started dating.  However, I also have a twin sister, with whom I’m super close and another best friend whom I’ve known since 7th grade.

FWIW, I think there’s a bit of a difference between best girlfriends and husbands.  Even though I think my husband is the first person I’d talk to on most things, I would still go to my girlfriends for certain kinds of things first.

Post # 9
Member
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

i’m going to ditto EAQ. My Maid/Matron of Honor is who i consider my best friend; i lived with her for 4 years in college and was AMAZING with me through all my life troubles. She’s just the greatest friend a girl could ever ask for. I also have a best friend back in Cali i’ve known since i was 5 that i love to death!

that bering said, Darling Husband and i have a relationship beyond “best friend” because he’s my husband!

two very disticnt things in my mind =]

Post # 10
Member
1392 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010 - Heron Hill Winery

right now my Fiance is my best friend…but, I think if my best friend since age 10 was here and living in the area he would have to take a step down …..I do love him so much, but there is a difference between friendship with your Fiance than with your best girl!

Post # 11
Member
2344 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

We are unapologetically best friends. We always say to each other (in embarrassing baby talk voices), “Best friends!” I define “best friendship” first and foremost by companionship. My best friends throughout my life (I’ve had a few, like most people) have had one thing in common – I loved spending time with them! Of course, there is much more to it, but what makes me call my Fiance my best friend is that he is always #1 on my list to tell a funny story I heard or to simply share my days with. That’s why I’m marrying him Smile

I understand the Mrs. Cheese philosophy of having other people in your life to fill other roles so that your relationship with your husband does not become unhealthy. However, I have seen this swing the other way with people I am close to – they aren’t particularly close with their husbands anymore, they would often rather spend time with their girlfriends, they don’t confide in their husbands like they do their friends. Personally, I have no interest in that. I will always make my FRIENDSHIP with Fiance a priority – I believe its what makes us so special and will help our marriage stay strong.

Post # 12
Member
545 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

My definition of best friend is someone who’s closest to you, someone who you can rely on, who you want to share things with, who you confide to, prefer to be with over other people, etc. etc. etc.  So, oh, yes, my Fiance is definitely my very best friend.  He’s the person that I go to first for everything and we are each other’s best friend.   My Matron of Honor is my best female friend and we agree on most of our values, but my Fiance is everything to me, just like her husband is everything to her.

Post # 13
Member
52 posts
Worker bee

My fiance is definitely my best friend.  As much as we are attracted to each other romantically, we were friends for some time before we began dating.  I have more fun laughing with him than anyone else.

To be fair, I don’t live near all my good girl friends.  In this military lifestyle, I move a lot.  I stay in touch with me good friends, but we’re not so much a part of each other’s day-to-day.  I have girl friends in the area, but we just don’t have that history.

Post # 14
Member
545 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

Oh, I just read what daniellemybelle posted and I 100% agree with her about seeing couples who are not that particular close to their spouse and prefer to be with their friends over spouse.  I feel the same way, my relationship with my Fiance is  priority.

Post # 15
Member
1205 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

He’s my best friend. My girlfriends and family are good friends in their own way, but he’s the only one who sees and embraces every piece of me. Girlfriends can drift apart as you move or your family situation changes, but with him we’ve made a promise to go through those changes together.

Post # 16
Member
685 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Fiance is my bestfriend and according to him, I am his bestfriend.  If you take our relationship and remove all the romantic stuff out, I think you’ll find a very deep friendship as the backbone.  He’s just my everything…I tell him everything and we do everything together. 

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