(Closed) Is your fiance…

posted 12 years ago in Grooms/men
Post # 17
Member
535 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

Mine’s not interested in planning at all, but we did have to have a talk about him being critical of things. He had no idea how much time and thought and research I put into stuff before bringing it up to him and how much it hurt when he decided he didn’t like an idea. We decided that he wasn’t allowed to say “no” without a good reason and/or an alternative. Luckily we’re on the same page with most things.

Post # 18
Member
267 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2008

@tasha- I have told him before that I want input from him even…I have told him that I don’t feel like our wedding is as important to him as it is to me. The kicker was when he replied with “babe, it’s never going to be as important to me as it is to you”

ME= WTF face. I was completely baffled, and honestly kind of hurt. How am I supposed to react to that? He does make up for it by saying things like “I can’t wait to see you walking down that isle” etc. But I really want him to feel like this is important to him too.

Post # 19
Member
223 posts
Helper bee

My fiance isn’t helping plan much at all. It did bother me at first then I found a way to get his opinion with out annoying him. I’ll save up 5-10 ideas for 1 thing (ex:invitations/napkin rings/centerpieces/etc you get the idea) and ask his opinion. I think it helped him compare & give me the feedback I was looking for.

Post # 20
Member
43 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2010

My Fiance wants to be involved, but he’s under a lot of stress from work, so whenever I brought up wedding stuff, he’d get even more stressed and frustrated, so even though he wanted to be involved, I made most of the decisions (though I generally asked i x or y was okay first).

He designed our invites, found and signed our DJ and helped with going shopping on invite-put-together day when we ran out of supplies from the craft shop.

Everything else is me and my mom.

Now he’s wishing he would have eloped when I offered that to him (which is what i wanted..now that he knows how much goes into a wedding, he’s regretting it).

Post # 21
Member
1369 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

he’s been involved when i ask for the help ๐Ÿ™‚ he’s made all of the big decisions and gone on the hunt with me (ie. venue, photog)…

he’s kinda slackin in getting his things done (tux, limo, honeymoon)… but tux and limo aren’t too worrying for me (we have 6 months left and have the vendors we’ll use) and the honeymoon we want to put off booking until we get more information ๐Ÿ™‚

my Fiance is taking the backseat cuz he wants me to pick everything i want without his influence ๐Ÿ™‚ he says it’s my day and he doesn’t want to get in the way and will be there when i need him to be

Post # 22
Member
13 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2010

mine has been super-involved considering he works full-time and has been mixing a record in his spare time. he’s been involved in picking out rings, going fabric shopping (and chose more than me), and is working with our unofficial caterers since he works in the food industry. not AS involved as me but that’s because i’m obsessive compulsive and that’s fine. he’s been spending A LOT more time on our playlists than me, will be in charge of sound equipment, and his recording scored us an AMAZING band – for free. next up: teaching him to use a rotaty cutter to help with sewing projects!

Post # 23
Member
1337 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

My FH is involved in the wedding planning. Certainly not into the tiny details as much as I am, but will give me his opinion whenever I say “ohh! Or what about ____!”. He also will just randomly say that he can’t wait for our wedding, and for being married, which is always nice to hear.

A few weekends ago, I got him involved in his very first craft project ever lol – cutting the embroidery threads to the correct lengths for our Save the Date Bookmark tassels. He said he really wanted to help with the project, so I gave him a number of crafty job options and that’s the one he picked.

Post # 24
Member
878 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I gave my Fiance a job.  His first job was to get his lists addresses.  Once he did that his job was to pick the DJ.  Then I had him proof read the invites.  Not sure what his job next will be but I will think of something.

He is very sweet and is letting me do what I want.  He says that I am the one with the vision and he knows it will be wonderful!

Post # 25
Member
13 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2010

My fiance is very involved and has been a good little helper! I give him his to do list, he does his research and summarizes his findings so we can discuss. He’s also a voice of reason, especially when I have one of my obsessive perfectionist bridezilla moments! 

Post # 26
Member
8941 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

My husband was not involved at all.  I think that for most guys, all the details and things are just not interesting to them and there isn’t really much you can change about that.  I would try to see if there is something specific that he is interested in like food or photography and then put him in charge of that element.

Post # 27
Member
159 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

my Fiance is involved in a way, i guess….  He does none of the research but will turn down an idea and not give alternative suggestions. 

Post # 28
Member
267 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2008

I think what drives me so NUTS about him not trying to be more involved is that I have very few friends here and my family/everyone (pretty much) I know is in MN. Therefore, I have no one to show all my ideas to and see reactions. ๐Ÿ™ Then his reaction is a shrug, and it hurts.

Post # 29
Member
116 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

My Fiance was the same way at first. He didn’t seem to care that much, he was soo excited to get married but the planning didn’t interest him until I really broke down and told him how much it would mean to me if he tried to get more involved. Since then he’s been soooo amazing and he even shows me things we can do for the wedding now. Try having a serious convo with your Fiance about it. I hope that works hun.

Post # 30
Member
361 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

GROOMZILLA.

I wish he would back off a little!! He says I’m “not allowed to go shopping unsupervised”.  Driving me crazy!!

I don’t know if he thinks I’ll go spend money we don’t have…which isn’t the case because I’m extremely frugal, but as much as I like it for some things, let me do something on my own for others!!

Post # 31
Member
87 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

generally no, but he can muster up an opinion if i narrow down the choices to 2 or 3 options..

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