(Closed) Is your fiance/husband anything like your first love?

posted 4 years ago in Relationships
Post # 16
Member
3113 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2016 - Surfer\'s Beach, Grand Cayman

No not at all, thank god.

Post # 17
Member
11378 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

I met and started dating my husband when I was 15 so I think he is my first TRUE love. But is he anything like my first boyfriend? HELL NO! I was 13 and he was a couple of years older but in the same grade. He was controlling, abusive and used suicide as a way to keep me from breaking up with him even though he cheated on me and twisted my wrists when he was angry. He punched lockers at school, slung a guy up a wall and held him BY THE NECK off the ground just because the guy was my friend….. INSANE! He did drugs (I did not) and he was all around just bad. He is in prison now.

My husband is loving, kind, giving, soft spoken to me, loyal, honest, trust worthy, ambitious and would never hurt me. He is NOTHING like my first boyfriend at all, thankfully!

Post # 18
Member
35 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: December 2015

Hahaha, I’m with the PP who described the two as “polar opposites,” but that’s good because a lot of the differences are what lead to the break up. The biggest issue in our entire relationship was that he was unmotivated (e.g., he quit his job to focus on college without being in college and then proceeded to take months to enroll in part-time classes, which he then quit) and it never hurt him because his parents spoiled him rotten. Because we started dating while we were in high school, it wasn’t a big deal at first, but it became more frustrating with time once I started getting further along in college. Fiance was headed off to medical school when we reconnected right after the breakup so I think that might have set off some “Oh, he’s got it together!” alarms. 

Other things:

First love: Little interest in traveling, controlling, VERY jealous, unsupportive of me in terms of professional successes if it took time from him, unsupportive of me in terms of personal successes if it took time from him (e.g., he sulked when I so much mentioned being interested in a semester abroad)*… But he was VERY romantic (a lot of grand gestures)

Fiance: The exact opposite

*That first one sure seems like a winner looking back on it

  • This reply was modified 4 years, 4 months ago by  3weddings.
Post # 19
Member
471 posts
Helper bee

Nothing like him.  My first love… I wouldn’t even call him a love.  I realized after two years that what I was feeling wasn’t love.  So I would say my fiancé is the first guy I really loved.  my first boyfriend was a huge mamas boy, to his detriment, and incredibly selfish.  He hated working hard at anything.   Nothing like my current fiancé.

Post # 20
Member
193 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

He is my first love so… yes 🙂

Post # 21
Member
334 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

I never said I love you to anyone other than family in person until I met my fiancé. I’d say it via text bc I didn’t think it counted – it was more of a “Im obligated to say this so here it is..” kinda thing. Soooo my Fiance is my first love

as far as guys I’ve dated he’s entirely different than anyone Except for physically – he has the same body type – muscled in the arms and chest, not very defined abs but no gut either, he’s got thin straight hair and freckles and green eyes (which is all very typical of my “type”)

he has a beard which is a nice addition Although sometimes I miss the clean shaven baby face I first met loL. 

Hes not self absorbed, and he is very funny! He’s successful and ambitious, owns up to his mistakes, is communicative, loves me for who and am and supports my ambitions, doesn’t try to dissuade me from my dreams, is money conscious and career driven, doesn’t want kids but wants us to focus on building a good life for us – would be a great dad if it accidentally happened. He’s the best. 

Post # 22
Member
18 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: November 2015

Carolsays:  Thaaaat’s cuuuute!!!

Post # 23
Member
1025 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

I’d honestly say, my Fiance is my first LOVE. I was also the only one my Fiance said ” he loved and I love you’s”. Compared to previous boyfriends, he is easy going, forgiving, sweet, and never stays angry. I look up to him in so many ways.

Post # 24
Member
1552 posts
Bumble bee

This is interesting. Though I thought I “loved” a couple of boyfriends in the past, the feeling doesn’t compare to what I feel for Darling Husband. That being said, Darling Husband does have a little bit in common with my first “love.” Both are highly intelligent, both have big vocabularies, and both give a lot of thought toward the state of the world around them. But my ex ended up being abusive in the end, and Darling Husband wouldn’t hurt a fly (literally, he would never choose to hurt another living thing). Darling Husband also works to get what he wants, and my ex was comfortable with his rich parents catering to him.

Darling Husband for the win!

Post # 25
Member
266 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2016

they are complete opposites- in every way (actually they both can play the guitar!) 

Fiance is hard working, career motivated, a handy man (he can seriously do anything!!) funny, drinks in moderation – I’ve seen him smashed 4 times in 5 years!, handsome, trustworthy, adorably hopeless at some things and is going to such an amazing father one day. He also is a lot of fun! 

my first love, I was only 18, he was in his early 20’s. He drank A LOT, drunk 3-4 nights a week, not overly work motivated, couldn’t hammar a nail, he was romantic and incredibly generous and sensitive but he also made me feel like I wasn’t as smart as him and that he knew best all the time. I don’t regret it but I’m so glad it ran it’s course as I met my Fiance 3 years later 🙂 

Post # 26
Member
1200 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2015 - Malibou Lake Mountain Club

Carolsays:  NOPE! And I cannot thank God enough for my husband. 

My “first love” was my high school boyfriend. Controlling, self-centered, manipulative, abusive and cheated while in college. 

My husband is patient, sweet, caring, smart, ambitious, talented; man, the list can go on!!! Overall, he makes me feel loved, important and has taught me to love, love myself, and let people in. 

Post # 27
Member
337 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

Husband is my first boyfriend and love and thats just the way I like it 🙂

 

 

Post # 29
Member
3169 posts
Sugar bee

This is an interesting thread. My first “love” was a semi employed pot head with abusive tendencies…. Thankfully Fiance is far from this.

Post # 30
Member
129 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2018

yes & no. 

My first “love” was a boy I had known since I was 4 (our parents were good friends). We were “boyfriend & girlfriend” growing up… to us that meant sharing a popsicle, swimming in my pool, or watching movies hahaha. We dated when we were 16, we were head-over-heels for each other. He is loud and outgoing, loves telling jokes and is SUPER family oriented. He now has a son and lives with a woman (not the mother of his child) who has 3 kids of her own. 

Now my fiance, he’s a totally different story! We met just about the time that myself and “first love” were breaking up (but we didn’t date for almost 2 years after we met haha) I HATED him when I first met him. He seemed like dick and I thought he was a “bad boy” and not in a cool “oh he’s so sexy” bad boy way hahaha. It wasn’t until he asked me out on a date and I finally caved and went, that I realized he was actually a nice guy! He is shy and nervous in crowds of people. He is sometimes uncomfortable in large “family” settings (he has a very small family and they’re not very close, so sometimes he gets overwhelmed with my HUGE family!) but he’s super sweet and is a hardworker (unlike “first love” who can’t hold a job for longer than 6 months at a time). 

But there is one very important similarity! They both play hockey! …what more could a Canadian girl ask for! 

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