(Closed) Is your fiance/husband anything like your first love?

posted 4 years ago in Relationships
Post # 46
Member
514 posts
Busy bee

Totally different,

First love – musician, in a band, blonde, stocky (muscular stocky not chubby stocky) total mummas boy, very into gaming etc. not overly ambitious but would do anything for me

FI- Not into music at all (his idea of a nice tune is cher!..no hate) red head, very tall and slim (skinnier than me, grr!) doesn’t speak to his mother, which is a good thing as she is psycho and his only real interest other than me obviously is photography. He is very ambitious as he wants to support our future family

I loved my ex, but I am very happy with my life and where its heading, I couldn’t see a future with my ex despite being so in love (he has no ambitions, still lives at home works at a supermarket and doesn’t try to do anything else) 

Post # 47
Member
115 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

First love I guess was my high school sweetheart, he is so different from my husband!

First – He was very smart but had no desire to apply himself to study/working hard, very religious, acted like a child when he didn’t get his own way, emotionally manipulative, could be a major redneck at times, would rather look poor/have people think he was poor than spend money on anything, never took me out on dates we would just ‘hang out’, didn’t approve of me going to university, hated it when I looked pretty as he thought other guys paid me too much attention, planned to live with his parent till he was 25. (I dated this guy for 2 years!!)

Husband – Generous, devoted, highly motivated, highly ambitious, bordeline workaholic, can be judgemental of others, non-religious, he likes to have the best of everything, has finacial goals and plans, he loves that I look like a woman and wears makeup/dresses/heels, he loves to take me out on dates and have life experiences with me, he challenges me intellectually, challenged me to get my master degree.  

I think my ex was just very young and immature even though he was 3 yrs older than me. According to a mutual friend, not much has changed about him since we broke up. Crazy happy to be married to my husband, he is an amazing human being and we love being able to share our lives together!!

Post # 48
Member
232 posts
Helper bee

First love: tall, black hair, dark eyes, engineer, pretty pompous and selfish! I’m not really sure what I saw in him other than that he was “popular” and fun to hang out with

My love: taller, dark brown hair, crazy doe eyes, an elementary teacher… The MOST selfless person I have ever met, almost to the point that its detrimental to him. A long haired version of Theo James 😍 he could model, seriously. Also beyond funny

The only thing is height- thats pretty similar. Personality, nope! 

 

Post # 50
Member
11 posts
Newbee

First love – tall, tanned, dark hair, charming, boyish good looks… and the boyish behaviour to go with it. He was the popular guy all the girls wanted to date when we were back in school, I was at home on summer break from uni and I was working in a local bar when he asked me out. While the summer was fun and I was completely head over heels in puppy love, we were far too different for it ever to work – I was just unfortunately doe-eyed and that deluded 19 year old who thought I could ‘fix’ people (he enjoyed partying and drugs – the latter definitely not my style). He messed me around with his bullsh*t (indecisive behaviour, out of the blue contact followed by ignoring my replies, didn’t want me but couldn’t let me move on) for the following 2 years after that, and the only thing that cut it dead was when he started dating another girl from the same village and got her pregnant. I look back and laugh really, he was so childish and such player – I was just overwhelmed that he paid me attention and this gorgeous guy liked ME! Safe to say ten years later (ironically I bumped into him at a petrol station when back home to see my parents – awkward central) he has lost his looks and still dresses like he’s 20. 

Current love – never felt the way about anyone else as I do about him and I hope it never ends. He’s tall and gorgeous, has that kind of hug that makes you feel completely safe. I knew from the first moment that I met him that I’d be with him, it was like this instant spark I’ve not had repeated with anyone else. When I was younger I couldn’t seem to get my feelings out there to guys, I’d put up this protective wall. With my SO I honestly must have chewed his ear off spilling out all of my emotions about him all the time. I couldn’t understand it myself, I just melted when I met him. We were at dinner a while back and my aunty blurted out that they all knew he was ‘the one’ because I was notorious for not being bothered about guys, and then he appeared and suddenly I turned to mush. He is kind and sensitive, he makes me laugh, and most importantly he seems to understand me better than I do – and still wants to stick around when I’m being my most mental self! I love him to pieces (this got soppy very quickly!).

 Definitely kissed a few frogs before finding my prince! 

Post # 51
Member
9595 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

Well they both have kind hearts but my Fiance is so much more responsible, hard working, mature, and sexy than my first love. 

Post # 52
Member
916 posts
Busy bee

Honestly, my current S.O is my first love. I had relationships before him (3) but none of them lasted more than 4 months, simply because with every passing day, I was more irritated by the lot of them. One of them I had pretty strong feelings for, but I just liked him a lot. I didn’t love any of those guys, though. S.O is, hands down, the first guy I have ever loved. Even in High School, when my boyfriend was saying, ‘I love you’ I would never say it back. I didn’t want to say it unless I felt I meant it, and even at that age, I knew it wouldn’t last. I was a pretty logical student, I suppose. But S.O flipped my world upside down, has made me a better person, and it’s been 3 years of constantly growing closer and loving him more and more. 

He has his flaws, obviously. But who he is greatly outweighs that 🙂

Post # 53
Member
2814 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2015 - City, State

Nooooope. Thank God! 🙂 Not gonna bash my first love, but my Fiance puts my needs first which is something my first love did not do.

Post # 54
Member
2871 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

Gosh no, and I think that’s a good thing! My first real, true love was a man I met when I was around 19/20. I was a foolish girl then. He was a freaking alcoholic and I turned my cheek to it. No job, no money, well except for liquor. I thought we’d get married and pop out babies. Ha!

Looking at my Fi now, lol I DEFINITELY upgraded!!

Post # 55
Member
904 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

Fiance and my first serious boyfriend are a lot alike in some ways but it’s hard to compare because my first serious boyfriend and I were together in high school and a lot has changed since then.  He was young and wreckless (as we all were).  FI is still a little wreckless but in a different way.  

I’d say they are alike in some ways, different in others but I could see them being good friends. 

Post # 56
Member
435 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

I had a first high school boyfriend that lasted a year, and a first love that I barely dated (we were mainly just friends). Now there is Fiance.

First Boyfriend: Very intelligent, arrogant, socially awkward, average looks, ambitious (at 24 he is now a surgeon), romantic, musically inclined, unreligious, pathological liar. To be honest, he may be a surgeon and he may be brilliant, but I wouldn’t want him in charge of me if I was on the operating table.

First Love: Very intelligent, creative, extroverted, good looking, free-spirited (ambitions to be a playwright), anti-religion, extremely socialist, funny as hell. I realised that while I loved some aspects of his personality, I couldn’t live with some of his extreme views and needed more open-mindedness.

Fiance: Highly intelligent, cynical, logical, sarcastic, good looking but heavyset, academic (working on a PhD with aims to develop robots and AI), socially aware, capable of manual labour, and a great sense of humour. I can’t think of anything I’d change about him!

Post # 57
Member
1241 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2016

Interesting. I never thought about this before.

My relationship with my first love was a very immature one but love nonetheless. He was social, talkative, and always either being completely goofy and laughing and everything or being very serious and deep with no real in between. He was ambitious almost to a fault, one of those people who is probably never fully content in life because he always want to achieve more. Not really into sports.

My fiance is quite different. He doesn’t need a lot in life to make him happy, which I think it one of the best qualities to have. He is often lighthearted and love to joke around but doesn’t really like to have deep conversations. He isn’t very social and doesn’t talk a lot. He is naturally good at most things and doesn’t have to try very hard to succeed. He is logical and not very emotional. Loves sports.

I think the only things they have in common is that they are both intelligent, funny, family-oriented, just a little bit rebellious, and like some of the same music. Oh, and they could both roll with whatever my ridiculous family members throw at them. I think they would get along in different circumstances.

Post # 58
Member
2969 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

This is actually something I thought of recently…

My husband is like my first love in a lot of ways. We had a great relationship but the distance of being away at school and being so young pretty much put an end to it all. All of my relationships after that were horrible and all of those guys were basically the polar opposite of my first bf, until I met my husband. I really think that the qualities in my first bf were the ones I compared ever guy to after that.

He had all of the qualities that I loved about my first bf and we were both older and in better situations to make it last long term. 🙂

Post # 59
Member
270 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2016

Carolsays:  No.  He is nothing alike. 

I hold no ill-will against my exes, but here’s how they’re different:

— My first love (high school sweethearts) was short, skinny, frail of body.  He overcompensated for the insecurity he felt about his frame by becoming a black belt in karate.  He was a real nerd; obsessed with computers, RPGs, and went to school for computer engineering.  He was socially awkward and anxious in groups.   We couldn’t even go out to eat without him hiding behind me while I gave the hostess our name for the reservation.  My mother hated him; she thought he was a “weenie”.  He was a know-it-all, and always spoke over me, correcting me on my knowledge. He was jealous over me, and hated other men looking at me.  I got rid of him half way through college when I realized he was so stifiling to my personality.

 

— My Fiance is tall, athletic, the class jock AND top of the class.  He is intelligent, but kind.  He’s smart, but social.  He loves politics.  He loves theater.  He’s funny.   He’s philosophical.  He’s well rounded.  He’s studying law.  He doesn’t think he’s better than everyone.  He’s the anti-nerd, preferring to call vs. text; preferring parties to games.  He loves meeting new people and treats my family like his family.  He’s a leader and a man.  He is forgiving and gentle.  He sometimes doesn’t listen to me and talks over me, and sometimes I’m not sure he’s aware of all my talents and intelligence because his star shines so bright — but he always enjoys hearing a (my) different opinion and taking it into consideration even though he’ll usually fight it at first, he cares for my feelings, he’s encouraging, and the only person who has ever been able to make me laugh when I’m in a really bad mood, and he adores me. 

 

 

  • This reply was modified 4 years, 2 months ago by  zippy85.
Post # 60
Member
137 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

I wasnt “in love” with my first love/best friend (never dated) in high school,  so i consider my Fiance my first love, but first love/best friend was shy with a sharp comedic tongue if he ever spoke, outgoing with his closest friends and very intelligent. My fi is pretty much the same way. The only differences are my first love/best friend was semi-wimpy skinny-muscular and Fiance is a muscular, big, MMA fighter type. 🙂

  • This reply was modified 4 years, 2 months ago by  sk1nnybean.

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