(Closed) Is your man a romantic??

posted 7 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: Would you help your man?

    Never. He's on his own.

    Only if he asked for help

    Yes! What's the big deal

  • Post # 17
    Member
    6354 posts
    Bee Keeper

    He’s naturally really romantic and great at surprises, and I’m the one that needs more help. I’d appreciate those types of hints like you mentioned. I mean well, and I adore the man, I’m just not good with coming up with that kinda stuff.

    Post # 18
    Member
    1990 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    @mrshoneybee:  I am my DH’s first relationship and he is a jock without a ton of experience wining and dining (since we met when we were 18 anyway!) but he does know that he should buy a lady flowers and cards are very important (He’s British and their raised with cards as a basic requirement for all occasions!). 

    He definitely always pays and does open some doors for me but isn’t known for his unabashed chivalry, sponaneous romantic antics or the element of surprise… all of which I would love!

    He also is a little shy sometimes and is NOT a mind reader so I have become accustomed to showing him things that I like or that I would want someday (we enjoy shopping together) or showing him things and saying “Wouldn’t that be fun babe?” or “Wouldn’t that be a nice Valentine’s gift?”  and crossing my fingers in hope that he’ll remember.

    I wouldn’t actually order something and give it to me from him because I think its the thought that goes into the giving that means just as much as the actual gift.

    SO My situation didn’t really fit in the poll… I help him with inspiration or hints to my taste but I don’t actually physically shop for him and do all the handy work. lol

    Post # 19
    Member
    2143 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2015

    My SO buys me flowers for special events (birthdays, valentines day, etc) and sometimes randomly as well 🙂 Besides flowers and other small things, he isn’t overly romantic. Sometimes I hope for a big romantic surprise, but I love his laid back romantic personality. I do sometimes nudge him with other romantic ideas when I’m feeling extra romantic (or even plan things myself) so I see nothing wrong with picking flowers out yourself of showing him exactly what you like :)! 

    Post # 20
    Member
    11744 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    I’m sure he can pick out flowers on his own.  I would never suggest my Fiance do anything different (he’s not the most romantic out there but he does okay for himself). I choose to look at all the subtle things he does to show me he loves me. 

    Post # 21
    Member
    8439 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: April 2013

    @mrshoneybee:  I guess my Fiance is pretty romantic (opens doors, gives me his coat, flowers, etc.), but we have a very “old fashioned” relationship (he works, I stay home and do domestic things).  In a world where women are becoming more and more independent, the romantic “knight in shining armor” is now obsolete.  It’s not that guys don’t care as much, it’s just the way things have changed.  Men now have to be taught to be chivalrous, it is not the standard.

    Post # 22
    Member
    2755 posts
    Sugar bee

    My SO is so incredibly romantic all the time. Gifts, little shows of affection, corny words – the works! It’s a lot to get used to because my ex-FI was super clueless like yours and also just really unromantic. But I’m loving it, it’s definitely what I need. I don’t really have any tricks or tips, unfortunately, because I never did figure out how to make my ex be what I needed – so I found someone who was. But that’s not generally my advice to most people, especially here at the Bee! 

    Post # 23
    Member
    522 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: March 2014

    My aunt once told me that my uncle (her husband) has never, EVER purchased a gift for her.  They have been married close to 40 years.  She said it upset her at first, but now she just buys gifts for herself and says, “Oh honey, look what you bought me today!”  🙂

    Honestly, if you want flowers and you don’t care about being “surprised” with flowers, I think it’s a great idea to send him some links with stuff you like.  It actually sounds to me like he wants to please you so badly, but isn’t sure how!  I think sending him some suggestions might guide him a bit and help take off a bit of his nervousness about what to get.

    Good luck!  🙂

    Post # 25
    Member
    5107 posts
    Bee Keeper

    My Darling Husband is def more romantic than I am. LOL. It makes for quite the odd dynamic in our marriage. haha

    Post # 26
    Member
    964 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    Darling Husband is romantic in his own way. I was getting a little annoyed because I have been giving him an “anniversary card” on the 15th of each month since the wedding. I can’t expect him to do the same, we have different love languages and value different things. Yesterday, he surprised me in the morning with a video slideshow put to music. It had pictures of us since the wedding and was sweet. If it’s important, tell him. Personally, I’d prefer flowers on random day of the week rather than on the day the calendar says MUST BUY FLOWERS AND CHOCOLATE!

    Post # 27
    Member
    7770 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2010

    I have learned this about successful relationships in general:  if I want or need something, I ask for it!  🙂

    Post # 28
    Member
    56 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    Agrees Fiance is romantic in his own way. I find his sarcastic humor romantic, our whole relationship is usually filled with funny moments and that’s romantic enough for me.

    Post # 29
    Member
    1680 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    @mrshoneybee:  Awe. You sound like my Fiance and I! He’s completely unromantic. He KNEW Valentines Day is my favorite holiday and it took 5 years before I got a card. Year 6 he got me flowers! I just got him something every year and every year he responded “Oh, I didn’t know we were doing anything”

    I abolutely adore him, but he’s not romantic at all!!!

    I say just give him time and coax him along. Point out things you like and say “you should get me something like that *big smile* He’ll catch on 🙂

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